Chapter 287 287: Chamber Opens! Slytherin's Invitation! - Harry Potter: Don't Touch the Badger's Plants - NovelsTime

Harry Potter: Don't Touch the Badger's Plants

Chapter 287 287: Chamber Opens! Slytherin's Invitation!

Author: MeowthTL
updatedAt: 2026-03-10

In the underground cave, Ron eagerly piled up the Alihotsy he'd brought. But moments later, he hesitated.

"Nagini—our Alihotsy was all obtained from trash bins in Diagon Alley, from cigarette butts people discarded. Will this really work?"

Nagini replied confidently, "Don't worry. The basilisk has slept so long—probably couldn't smoke Alihotsy more than a few times in a thousand years. How picky can it be? Having something to smoke is already good! A bit moldy, a bit stinky, carrying some bad breath smell—it won't mind."

"Nagini" had another line—it didn't tell Ron explicitly—back in the day, it used similar methods to collect Alihotsy and awaken the basilisk. After all, its former self was just a poor orphan. Where would it get money to buy quality Alihotsy? Back then the basilisk wasn't picky either—now it should be similar. Perhaps it would even miss this unique Alihotsy taste.

Then Ron, reassured by Nagini, waved his wand, "Incendio!"

A bright flame instantly burst from the wand tip, igniting the piled Alihotsy. Immediately, thick smoke accompanied by a peculiar odor rose up.

Ron initially felt somewhat curious, not knowing what smoking Alihotsy tasted like. After all, smoking Alihotsy at Hogwarts violated school rules and meant expulsion. At home, his parents would never let him smoke this. But moments later, when Ron excitedly and curiously inhaled a mouthful of smoke, his expression became spectacularly complex.

This taste—even harder to handle than booger-flavored Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans! The first flooding in wasn't Alihotsy's smell but various old wizards' saliva stench after smoking, plus a moldy smell. Only then came some actual Alihotsy scent. But just those opening notes were enough to make one vomit.

Ron dry-heaved repeatedly, completely disillusioned about Alihotsy, "Merlin's beard! What on earth—who would smoke this stuff? Ugh—"

Pinching his nose, Ron waved his wand again. A wind rose in the cave, carrying this nauseating smoke toward the cave depths where pipes connected to Hogwarts.

Meanwhile, the basilisk was restlessly writhing in the Chamber of Secrets. It hadn't smoked Alihotsy for several days. Previously going a thousand years without it felt okay—just somewhat craving it. But recently smoking that wonderful purified Alihotsy daily and now suddenly being cut off—it was unbearable, like a heavy smoker suffering withdrawal, its mind filled with thoughts of another puff.

Just then, the basilisk discovered smoke actually drifting from the abandoned pipe direction. Its eyes lit up, immediately moving closer. This is Alihotsy smoke? Who's burning Alihotsy? Don't care—I need a puff.

Then the basilisk took a deep breath with anticipation, drawing all the smoke into its lungs. Its eyes also narrowed, preparing to enjoy Alihotsy's soothing, pleasant sensation.

But the next second, when that smoke's taste spread through its lungs, the basilisk's eyes suddenly widened. The anticipation in its eyes vanished completely, leaving only shock, fury, and nausea. What is this?! Ugh—ugh—

The basilisk was already quite scent-sensitive. The taste that made Ron vomit was amplified hundreds of times in the basilisk's senses. For the basilisk now accustomed to quality Alihotsy, the impact was unimaginable. Instantly, the basilisk reacted like a human who'd swallowed a huge chunk of wasabi—churning, writhing, wishing it could pry open its skull to let this overwhelming smell escape out the top of its head.

Damn it, damn it! Just then, due to the basilisk's earlier powerful inhalation, the underground cave's previously continuous smoke was briefly disrupted.

Seeing this, the experienced "Nagini" immediately exclaimed excitedly, "Ron, see that? The basilisk is taking the bait. Quick, increase the firepower—create more smoke; we need to let it inhale more deeply!"

Ron also perked up, hurriedly continuing to wave his wand, casting flames. As the fire intensified, that smoke grew thicker and thicker, continuously surging into the pipes.

The basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets, watching the approaching smoke, felt fear for the first time in its life. It desperately didn't want to smell another puff of this stuff. The basilisk kept retreating, but smoke accompanied by that nauseating smell gradually spread through the Chamber. No matter which corner the basilisk curled into, the omnipresent smell assaulted its brain.

The basilisk was nearly driven mad. The next moment, it frantically charged toward the abandoned pipe entrance. But this passage's end was long sealed tight by iron railings with protective magic, connected as one with Hogwarts' protective enchantments. No creature could enter or exit this way. But smoke could.

The smoke was pouring in from here. The basilisk furiously crashed against these iron railings, emitting angry hissing roars, wishing it could rush out now and bite to death whoever was burning Alihotsy. Kill! Kill you! Bite you to death!

Currently in the underground cave, "Nagini" had Ron cast a spell to make vibrations from within the walls transmit more clearly, thereby detecting the basilisk's movements in the Chamber. However, due to the considerable distance from the basilisk's position, plus Ron's limited spell mastery and Hogwarts' protective magic interference, "Nagini" couldn't hear the basilisk's roars' full content—only vaguely hearing "kill" and "death" sounds.

Simultaneously feeling wave after wave of impacts from the abandoned pipes, this made Nagini's confidence surge. "From such distance, still able to feel tremors. Must be the basilisk impacting the abandoned pipe's iron railings. It can't wait to reach the smoke source—still roaring 'kill' and 'death' and such. Ron, the basilisk must be smoking and getting high! Take this chance while its impression is strongest—let it familiarize itself with your scent, as we previously discussed!"

Ron nodded repeatedly, quickly pulling out a package. After opening, it revealed the contents' true form—sock after unwashed sock, stuffed in the package for several days. Even Ron himself held his breath now, fearing to smell this "biochemical weapon's" odor.

Then, to avoid diluting the scent, Ron immediately shook these socks loose into the Alihotsy bonfire. Rich smoke carrying Ron's sock smell surged in through the abandoned pipes again.

The roaring basilisk accidentally inhaled a mouthful. In that instant, this creature called the wizarding world's most venomous magical animal nearly rolled its eyes back, almost fainting. Then it turned and fled, no longer daring to stay even a moment. This was beyond terrifying.

Only one thought remained in the basilisk's mind. I remember you. I will kill you. When school starts—when school starts, I'll find you. I will kill you!

Then the basilisk dove headfirst into other pipes, just to distance itself from that nauseating smoke. Just then, subconsciously, it arrived at that previously familiar pipe opening.

Seeing this, the basilisk's already terrible mood grew even worse. But just then, from the familiar pipe opening, the basilisk smelled the long-missed purified Alihotsy scent, with Ciel's smell mixed in.

The basilisk's eyes widened. This little wizard—he came back?

Its eyes narrowed, taking on a cold gleam. What does he think I am? I'm a thousand-year basilisk—the great Salazar Slytherin personally cultivated me. I'm a noble existence, proud, dignified. I've forgiven this little Badger's offenses time and again, yet he ignored me for so many days. Now he lights one Alihotsy cigarette, thinking that can appease me?

The basilisk held its head high, secretly vowing: Even if I die from discomfort, from craving, or from being stunk and smoked to death by those fumes, I absolutely won't smoke one puff of this Badger's Alihotsy!

Moments later: "Amazing!"

The basilisk hissed and huffed, gulping down the incoming quality Alihotsy smoke. After enduring such terrible smoke for so long, this felt like heaven.

"Hiss-ha, hiss-ha—" The basilisk writhed ecstatically in the pipes. This surprised even Ciel, who was lighting Alihotsy at the pipe opening. Why such a strong reaction? Much bigger than I estimated. Is quitting smoking this unbearable? It's only been a few days—

After a long while, the basilisk finally exhaled with relief, as if enjoying supreme pleasure. But just then, it realized what it had just done. Promised to be iron-willed, yet I caved for one Alihotsy puff—I'm pathetic.

"Little Badger! You damned dishonest Badger! Don't think you can tame me with such tricks. I, the proud basilisk, will never acknowledge a clumsy Parseltongue thief like you as Slytherin's heir."

Ciel replied with confusion, "Slytherin's heir? I never wanted to be Slytherin's heir. I'm already Helga Hufflepuff's heir—Hufflepuff is the best house; why would I want to be another house's heir?"

Now it was the basilisk's turn to be surprised, "What—you're already Lady Hufflepuff's heir?"

Ciel replied matter-of-factly, "Of course. Lady Hufflepuff rewards every recognized Badger. Not long ago, I received this honor, drinking the nectar she brewed."

The basilisk considered this carefully. During that period, even sleeping in the Chamber, it still sensed a familiar ancient magic—precisely from Lady Hufflepuff. This Badger spoke the truth. He truly was Lady Hufflepuff's heir.

The basilisk's attitude softened considerably. After all, the Four Founders' heir's status was definitely higher than its own. But it still asked somewhat reluctantly, "Then why didn't you come these past days?"

Ciel rolled his eyes, "Don't you know how expensive purified Alihotsy is? My family isn't some great house. I'm just a nearly second-year young wizard—how could I afford so much purified Alihotsy? So these days I've been working in greenhouses, earning Alihotsy through labor."

Hearing his words, the basilisk—a thousand years old but having spent most of that time sleeping, never having socialized—suddenly felt uncomfortable. So this noble Hufflepuff heir has been working to obtain Alihotsy for me?

It seems I wrongly blamed him. He's a good person. Am I... am I a bad basilisk?

For a moment, even the cold-blooded basilisk felt somewhat ashamed. After all, it was cultivated by the great Salazar Slytherin. Though Slytherin's creed spoke of using any means, he greatly valued reputation—especially before the other three Founders.

If Salazar Slytherin knew I made Hufflepuff's heir support my habit, he'd probably skin me alive. I need to quickly repay this debt.

Moments later, the basilisk said gruffly, "Little wizard, wait here."

Then it traveled through pipes back to the Chamber of Secrets, wanting to find some treasure to repay this favor. But in the Chamber, besides rat bones, basilisk feces, shed skin, only Slytherin's statues remained.

The basilisk grew distressed. Even giving all my feces wouldn't repay this debt. This won't do—this would shame Slytherin before Lady Hufflepuff.

After anxiously circling once, the basilisk grew increasingly helpless. The most precious things here are the Chamber itself and myself.

An idea formed in the basilisk's mind. How about making this Badger the Slytherin heir I recognize? Then everything would make sense. He'd be Slytherin's heir, I'd work for him, and he'd pay my smoking fees—isn't that proper?

Trading a few Alihotsy cigarettes for heir qualifications—this doesn't mean Slytherin is taking advantage of Lady Hufflepuff, but rather shows the great Slytherin's generosity.

As for heir qualifications—the pureblood condition is definitely met. At least an ancient family heir, also Hufflepuff's heir. Probably no one in the wizarding world is more qualified than this young wizard.

As for Parseltongue, though not true Parseltongue, it's barely passable—as long as I can understand. Even more importantly—he's already Hufflepuff's heir yet still learned Parseltongue. What is this? This is dedication!

Probably even if Slytherin still lived, he'd be very pleased. No problem then.

Satisfied with this solution, the basilisk felt joyful, eagerly traveling to Slytherin's statue, letting out a triumphant roar.

In the underground cave, after the basilisk fled the abandoned pipes, "Nagini's" voice was full of satisfaction, telling Ron, "Good, the basilisk retreated. This is a creature with keen smell and extremely strong memory. Just this once should leave a deep impression on you. A good beginning is half the battle. Ron, we're not far from success. Still need more Alihotsy."

Hearing he was steps closer to subduing the basilisk, Ron's face showed more excitement. But hearing more Alihotsy was still needed; his expression grew bitter. Obtaining this Alihotsy was too difficult—how many trash bins would he need to secretly search through? Never mind the dirt and stench—mainly Ron still had shame. Searching trash bins required constant vigilance to avoid being seen.

Thinking of having to search trash bins again—even more—Ron truly felt deep resistance. "Nagini" frowned, about to speak, but moments later immediately had Ron hold his breath, using magic to listen to distant pipe sounds. "It's the basilisk. Faintly audible—the basilisk is roaring! This roaring method—"

Nagini took a deep breath, "Ron, this is the basilisk expressing it found a recognized heir. Currently, it must be coiled atop Slytherin's statue in the Chamber, emitting such roars. You know what this means, Ron?"

Ron swallowed audibly, feeling somewhat dizzy, "Meaning—it recognizes me? I'm now Slytherin's heir?"

Nagini immediately said, "Exactly! This process was much faster than I expected. Ron, this is you—the chosen child!"

Ron's face instantly flushed crimson. For someone who lacked attention and recognition from childhood, the thousand-year basilisk's recognition—the Slytherin heir's identity—was simply a powerful stimulant.

So what if my brothers are outstanding? Can any of them become a Founder's heir? And Harry, even as the Boy Who Lived—he isn't a Founder's heir either. Only me!

Thinking this, Ron's previous resistance to searching Diagon Alley trash bins immediately vanished. "I'm Slytherin's heir now—feeding the basilisk is my responsibility. I'll search trash bins to support it. Next time, I'll bring even stronger-smelling things, making the basilisk's memory of me deeper. This way when school starts, seeing me, the basilisk will definitely be overjoyed."

Ron's face was full of excitement and anticipation, as if already seeing himself after school started, standing on the basilisk's head, commanding absolute authority. Everyone would bow before him. Especially Ciel!

Ron couldn't wait to see Ciel's expression when learning of his Slytherin heir identity and facing the basilisk he commanded!

After its triumphant roar, the basilisk returned to the pipe opening, facing Ciel, "Little wizard, do you want to become Slytherin's heir? Fame, glory, power—all await you—"

"No," Ciel cut in decisively. "Fame, glory, power, and such—I don't care about them. I'm a Badger. Have you ever seen Badgers caring much about these?"

This answer stunned the basilisk. That was true enough. Its voice weakened, "But this is a Four Founders heir identity—very precious."

Ciel still shook his head, "I'm already Lady Hufflepuff's heir—for me, this is the most precious identity. I'm proud of this identity. As Hufflepuff's heir, how could I switch allegiance to Slytherin's house? We Badgers don't do such things."

The basilisk fell into contemplation again. I've truly overlooked this—this Badger apparently doesn't care at all about Slytherin heir status. Then how can I repay this favor?

Ciel now felt quite strange. Though in the original story, the basilisk seemed like a killing-obsessed monster, apparently it valued its dignity. But thinking of the basilisk's master, this was understandable. Slytherin was indeed a wizard recognized throughout magical history as extremely reputation-conscious.

Plus with his Hufflepuff heir identity—as Slytherin's cultivated creation, the basilisk apparently wanted to preserve some dignity for Slytherin. But he truly had no interest in Slytherin heir status. He stated directly, "It's fine. We're conducting a fair trade. You trade feces for my Alihotsy."

But this proposal made the basilisk shake its head repeatedly. How can feces compare to purified Alihotsy? Taking advantage of others is bad enough—taking advantage of Hufflepuff's heir—I can't afford to lose face like this.

But he doesn't want to become Slytherin's heir—what should I do? Why didn't Slytherin leave something to handle such situations?

Just then, the basilisk remembered something—a thousand years ago, before Slytherin left Hogwarts, the words he'd left for it. Besides obeying Slytherin heir's commands, he left one cryptic statement:

"If one day you meet a young wizard even Slytherin heir status cannot satisfy, I leave the Chamber to him. Lead him to the Chamber—he'll understand the Chamber's purpose."

But for a thousand years, I mostly slept. Even fifty years ago, when Slytherin's heir awakened me, I never encountered such situations. I nearly forgot Slytherin's instruction. Only meeting him now did I remember.

Could Slytherin have meant this Badger?

Considering this, the basilisk told Ciel, "Little wizard, follow me to the Chamber. Slytherin seems to have left something for you."

Then in the pipes, the sound of scraping scales gradually faded away.

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