Meadow’s POV:

His brows furrowed and something shed in his eyes. He started to step forward again. “Meadow, wait-b” /b

“I don’t want you to feel me, ric,” I snapped. I hated the person I became whenever he touched me. And truthfully, I really didn’t want him to feel me. I didn’t want to see that relief in his eyes that I saw anytime his skin even so much as grazed mine.

I wanted him to suffer, just as I was suffering.

ric shook his head. “Don’t do that, Meadow. Don’t do that ito /ime. Punish me however you want, but don’t deny me your touch.”

My heart clenched so hard I had to physically reach for my chest as if it was going to fix anything. My eyes burned. “Why?” My voice cracked. “That’s not what you really wanted from me, is it?”

“Meadow, that’s not-”

“Answer me this, ric,” I cut in, thankful that he wasn’t moving toward me anymore. His hands were curled into tight fists, like he was trying to physically restrain himself. “Why did you decide to marry me? To get your revenge, is that it?”

“It’s much moreplicated than that.”

“Then exin it to me!” I snapped. “Exin to me why you married me even though you knew my father was your father’s murderer!” Crossing my arms in front of my chest, I continued. “I don’t understand… I–I don’t…” My chest heaved. “Even if you could feel me, ric. Even if women like me are hard toe by, why on earth would you-”

“It is exactly because women like you are hard toe by, Meadow,i” /iric cut in. My gaze snapped to his. I still couldn’t read the expression on his eyes, but his voice was colder now. “It’s why I needed to have you. It’s why I couldn’t do what I originally nned to do.”

My lips parted but no words came out. My brain was having a difficult timeing up with words. What was I supposed to say to this? To the fact that ric wanted to punish me for my father’s sins and changed his mind all because he could feel me?

What could anyone say to that?

“What is it you wanted to do to me, then?”

His jaw clenched. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” bI /byelled, running my hand through my hair. I wanted to pull at it hard enough that my scalp would hurt.

I wanted to feel the kind of physical pain that would blur over the emotional one.

“You stalked me for months, ric. You told me that yourself. And now you say you don’t know what you wanted to do to me?”

My vision blurred. God. I was so stupid. He stalked me for months, of course, he knew who I was. Of course, he was just pretending not to. He was a good liar.

He was such a good liar. And I was so gullible to all his lies.

ric finally stepped closer to me. This time, I didn’t stop him. But I still wasn’t going to let him touch me.

My gaze dropped to his busted lip. If he didn’t put some ice on that, it was going to get ugly tomorrow.

Oh god. I cared too much about him.

“Yes,” he replied, lowering his voice. Guilt shed in his eyes but it was gone quicker than it came. “I kept tabs on you and your sister for months, but I’m not telling you lies, Meadow. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, I just… I watched you, and after you touched me by ident, I had to have you. Needed to have you.”

My stomach twisted, bile rising up my throat. I let out a scoff. “Bullshit. You wanted to punish my sister and I for my father’s sins. It’s why you kept her locked up in that facility for so long, isn’t it?”

“I kept her locked up because she hurt you, Meadow.”

I looked away from him, feeling a fresh wave of tears rise to the surface. “If you wanted her to get what she deserved because she hurt me, you’d have had the police arrest her. But that’s not what you did. You wanted her to suffer. Stuffed her with so much drugs that she couldn’t even think properly, drugs that

made her insane!”

‘More than she already was anyway,‘ something at the back of my mind said. I shook my head to chase

that thought. “I never understood why you hated her so much and didn’t even listen to me when I asked

you to let her…”

I trailed off as realization slowly washed over me.

“rissa.” I whispered. There was no need hiding anything now the cat was already out of the bag. “She told me she convinced you to let Juniper go.”

“She didn’t convince me. She ckmailed me. Threatened to tell you everything and I just… Fuck,” he breathed. “Meadow, I-” He ran a hand through his hair, turning away from me. “I didn’t want her to tell you.”

“You knew all this while who she was to me, didn’t you? You both knew everything that happened and you just treated me like I was insignificant.”

He didn’t turn.

“ric, look at me.” He didn’t. “ric!”

I wanted him to look me in the eyes, to know that he was hurting me greatly. I didn’t know how to feel.

On one hand, he lied to me so much it was hard to believe any other words that woulde out of his

mouth. He hurt me, used me, even.

But on the other hand… his father was dead because… because mine killed him. Maybe I didn’t

understand how or why or even when it happened, but it didn’t change the fact that my father had caused his family so much pain.

My chest heaved as I made my way to where he stood, pulling on his arm so he would turn around to face ollime. /li/ol

That was a big mistake. The moment ric turned to face me, my heart twisted so painfully and my

knees almost buckled.

The look in his eyes… I couldn’t even begin to describe it, but it broke me. I had never seen this much emotion in his eyes before.

I was so stunned I didn’t even realize when he pulled me close to him until his gaze dropped to where our

hands were connected.

And when he spoke, his voice sounded tortured. “You are the most significant person in my life, Meadow.”

More tears slid down my face. “That’s not true,” I whispered. “You only want me because you can feel me.”

His jaw clenched, but ric didn’t deny it. Instead, he asked: “Why do you want me, then?”

“I…” My cheeks heated and I looked away. “Don’t do that. Don’t act like you don’t already know how I feel about you.”

ric shoved out a breath. “Meadow, you can’t-”

“Yeah, I know,” I gritted out, snatching my hand from his grip. I stepped backward. “You don’t want me feeling that way about you, right? All you want is to feel. It’s why I have the option to leave you whenever I want. But what do you think that’s doing to me, ric? How do you expect me to just leave when I…” My voice broke. ric’s brows drew together like he was waiting for me to finish that sentence.

I did. “When I need you.”

His shoulders fell. “Meadow-”

“You say all those words to me, tell me you don’t ever want me to leave you, but I still have the option to if I want. What exactly do you want from me?” I sobbed harder. “Huh? What is it? Do you want revenge or do you just want to feel?” I paused. “Or do you want me the way that I want you?”

“I…” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “I don’t know.i” /i

A knife twisted in my heart. He didn’t… he didn’t know.

“Fuck, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Meadow. I never cared that my father was dead, I just… I needed something to keep me grounded.”

A mirthlessugh escaped my mouth and I nodded. I stepped close to him again, and he started to reach for me but stopped all of a sudden. Just a twitch of his fingers.

My throat tightened. “Do you think you could ever feel for me the same way I feel for you? Do you think this… thing that we have could ever go beyond just you wanting to feel me?”

For a moment, a thick silence stretched over the air between us. The only sounds were those of our heavy breathing–mine heavier than his.

ric’s lips parted like he wanted to say something, and when he closed them, I got my answer then and there.

His silence was answer enough.

He only wanted me because he could feel me.

But I… I had hopelessly fallen for him.