CHAPTER 392: CHAPTER 392: WHERE HAS THE PEI SHU’ER WHO LOVED HIM GONE?

Yan Hengyin waved to the soldiers, took out a bamboo flute, placed it to his lips, but his eyes quietly watched Pei Shu’er.

"I’ll do it myself."

Pei Shu’er raised an eyebrow and looked at Yan Hengyin, wondering what kind of attack method this was.

When Yan Hengyin blew the bamboo flute, Pei Shu’er suddenly felt a sharp pain in her abdomen and a slight loss of control over her body.

Her gaze went blank for a moment, quickly regained clarity, then went blank again.

Many fragments of memories flashed through her mind.

[Your Highness, you have the Mother Gu in you, and I have the Child Gu in me, so we are connected, aren’t we?]

The tone was lighthearted and joyful, tinged with the innocent eagerness of a young girl.

[Your Highness, even without this Gu Worm inside me, I would do anything for you.]

[Your Highness, if you want to see me, just blow this bamboo flute, and I’ll come to see you no matter where I am.]

[Your Majesty, you must blow this bamboo flute often.]

Every call of "Your Highness" was imbued with countless emotions, countless affections.

Pei Shu’er’s head hurt even more; she really couldn’t understand how her original self, a well-educated Beijing noble lady, growing up with a decent upbringing, could be foolish enough to put a time bomb in her own body.

Call her love-struck or call her crazy, but how could she willingly hand someone else a knife?

Yet Yan Hengyin didn’t care at all, only gaining a more obedient and reassuring pawn.

Only recently seeing that she was uncontrollable, with her utility increased, did he put on this act of deep affection, trying to trick her into continuing to serve him.

Pei Shu’er’s stomach hurt, and the light in her eyes flickered.

In a moment of regained clarity, Pei Shu’er suddenly rushed forward, snatched the bamboo flute from Yan Hengyin’s hand, and decisively crushed it.

As she was about to leave, Yan Hengyin grabbed her hand, pinning her against the wall.

"Pei Shu’er, I know you don’t really like Tang Zan. I know what you’re like when you truly like someone more than anyone else."

"You, in love, are like a moth to a flame, passionate, fervent, with your heart and eyes only for that person."

"Not like you now, calm and self-possessed, still maintaining your rationality."

"You once liked me with such fervor."

That was how her original self was when she liked someone.

But no matter whether she liked someone or not, she would never lose control because of emotions.

She controlled herself very carefully.

If love existed, all the better; if not, she wouldn’t force it.

She is now staying by Tang Zan’s side simply because she thinks Tang Zan is quite good at the moment, and their relationship is strong.

If one day Tang Zan changes his heart or does something unforgivable, then she will leave as well.

However, the change in her original self must have a reason, especially in front of this Third Prince who knew her so well.

"That was before—after going through great changes, I realized something. Loving someone too much leads to losing oneself, and you don’t gain others’ sympathy."

Yan Hengyin only felt more pain in his heart; he was the one who turned Pei Shu’er into this.

Yet he longed for that little girl who used to follow him so wholeheartedly.

Even if she wasn’t as smart as she is now, she once loved him so unreservedly.

She was the only one who liked him for who he was, not because of his status.

In the beginning, his mother wasn’t even an Imperial Concubine, and he was just a neglected prince, wearing rags, like a little beggar.

It was Pei Shu’er who proudly lifted her chin and handed her hand to him, so naively and proudly, like a little princess.

"No one to play with you? This lady will play with you."

Clearly a dignified noble girl with a haughty appearance, critical of others, yet so kind to him, eager to give him all the good things.

"You’re so handsome; it’s a pity you’re wearing such shabby clothes. I asked my maid to buy this; put it on and try it."

"Yan Hengyin, I’ll take you out of the palace to play; our Ministry of Rites is fun."

"Yan Hengyin, don’t you think this kite is beautiful? Have you ever flown it? I’ll fly it with you..."

"Yan Hengyin, have you ever tasted candied hawthorn? I sneaked into the palace in my father’s carriage again...."

Until his mother gained the Emperor’s favor through a dance, eventually being promoted to Imperial Concubine, he, too, rising in status, became the esteemed Third Prince.

Power dazzled his eyes, and she went from being his childhood playmate to a pawn he could use.

But Pei Shu’er still looked at him with those eager, gleaming eyes.

She never changed; her affection always remained for him.

After so many years of liking, how could it just disappear?

Yan Hengyin said, "Pei Shu’er, be with me, and you can continue being that carefree little girl. By my side, you won’t have to worry about so many things."

Pei Shu’er suddenly looked up at Yan Hengyin and, seeing the deep affection in his eyes, suddenly smiled slightly, somewhat wistfully.

"Yan Hengyin, if you had said this a year ago, the outcome would have been different. But sadly, it’s too late now."

The original self who loved him so much is gone; what’s the use of saying it to her?

If the original host had not lost the will to live, how could she have appeared here?

But the original host, till her last breath, had become disillusioned and let go of all her love for Yan Hengyin.

Yan Hengyin’s eyes showed a crazed glint; at this moment, his princely dignity was gone. He tightly held Pei Shu’er’s wrist, as if afraid she’d flee the moment he let go.

"How could it be too late? Aren’t you here now? Shu’er, I don’t believe you don’t feel anything for me anymore."

Pei Shu’er smiled gently, extending her slender white finger to press lightly on Yan Hengyin’s bitten arm, causing him to feel that sharp pain again.

"If I still had feelings for you, would I be willing to bite you so hard, given my nature?"

Pei Shu’er moved her hand from Yan Hengyin’s wound and wiped the bloodstains on his white clothes with her fingers.

She looked up at Yan Hengyin again, smiling gently, but her eyes were icy.

Yan Hengyin raised his bloodstained, flesh-missing hand, his eyes momentarily lost, then let out a bitter laugh, speaking in a daze.

"Where did the Pei Shu’er who loved me go? Shu’er, wouldn’t you like to love me again? To be the Pei Shu’er who loves me again, wouldn’t you?"

His words were almost pleading.

He even forgot that he once was a high-born prince.