How To Lose A Crush In 10 Texts
Chapter 32: Forest of Whimsy and Whiskers
CHAPTER 32: FOREST OF WHIMSY AND WHISKERS
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We were walking through a forest that smelled like mint and regret.
It had been an hour since I got sneak-attacked into a magical stream by a pair of mystery hands. And now, dripping wet and emotionally unstable, I was being led by a girl who claimed to "never go anywhere she didn’t know anything about," yet somehow still looked like a Disney elf about to drop a nature documentary.
Rin walked ahead like the trees were her roommates. Akane followed with the kind of grace that made stepping on a twig look like ballet. Mei was somewhere behind me muttering to a squirrel that may or may not have been flipping her off.
Me? I was still trying to figure out how I lost a rigged game of rock-paper-scissors. Again.
"Anyone else notice the trees are... moving?" I asked.
"They’re not moving," Rin said without turning. "You’re just walking wrong."
Right. Walking wrong. In a forest. Cool.
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Ten minutes later, we were back at the same rock that looked suspiciously like a sleeping possum. I named it Gary.
"Okay," I said, pointing, "we’ve passed Gary three times now. Either Gary is teleporting, or we are."
Akane knelt next to the rock and whispered, "Gary, is that you?"
Gary responded by opening one eye and farting.
"I vote we blame Rin," I said.
"I vote you shut up," Rin replied, still not looking back.
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Then came the weird animals.
First was a butterfly the size of a frying pan. It had sparkles on its wings and looked like it came with a subscription to a fairy tale. Mei reached out to touch it.
It screamed.
Like—full-on banshee wail.
We all jumped. The butterfly took off, did a loop in the air, and dive-bombed my face.
"NOPE!" I screamed and ran straight into a tree.
Rin finally turned, "Yeah, don’t touch anything unless it touches you first."
"Isn’t that advice for dating?!" I said, trying to extract a splinter from my forehead.
"No," Mei said, "that’s just common sense."
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Next, we saw a herd of bunny-looking things. But these weren’t regular bunnies. Oh no. They had fangs. Glowing fangs. And their fur puffed up like angry cotton candy.
"Awww," Mei said.
"Don’t even—" I started.
One of them hissed.
Another launched at a tree and bit clean through it like a chainsaw.
We all backed up slowly.
"They’re territorial," Rin explained. "We should leave offerings."
I blinked. "What offerings?"
"Your dignity," Akane offered.
"Already gone."
Rin threw some berries into the clearing. The bunnies sniffed them, made suspicious growls, and then bounced away.
I exhaled like I’d survived war.
---
That’s when the illusions started.
First it was small stuff—Mei saw a bush full of strawberries that turned out to be frogs. She screamed, they screamed, it was chaos.
Then I saw my own reflection in a puddle, except the reflection winked at me and gave me finger guns.
"What?" I muttered.
"Don’t look at forest puddles," Rin said. "They’re dramatic."
"No. I’m dramatic. That thing winked at me."
---
A few minutes later, we came upon a tree with a door in it.
"Don’t go in," Rin said quickly.
"Wasn’t planning to," I muttered. "But thanks for assuming I have the self-preservation instincts of a horror movie side character."
The door opened by itself.
A small creature walked out. It looked like a squirrel mixed with a mailbox. It handed me a leaf and waddled back inside.
"Am I supposed to tip it?"
"No," Rin said. "But don’t throw the leaf away. That would be rude."
I tucked it in my pocket. Because why not collect cursed foliage now?
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Then, we got separated. Not like horror-movie-oh-no-I’m-alone separated. More like we blinked and suddenly I was walking with three versions of Rin.
One Rin was serious. One was smiling way too much. And one was upside-down for no reason.
"Okay," I said slowly. "This is either a hallucination or my teenage hormones finally evolved into sentient beings."
All three Rins spoke at once:
"You should run."
I ran.
Immediately ran into the real Rin.
"Nice jog?" she asked.
"There were three of you!"
"Flattering."
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Eventually, we found a clearing that didn’t shift when you looked away from it. We decided to rest there.
A bird flew down with three heads and demanded snacks. Mei gave it trail mix. It nodded politely and flew away.
"Okay," I said. "Let me get this straight. The forest is alive, the animals are scary-cute, and even puddles have attitude?"
"Yes," Rin said, yawning.
"And this is normal?"
"No," she said. "This is Tuesday."
---
Later that night, while I was trying to fall asleep under a leaf that was definitely watching me, I heard Rin say softly:
"The forest doesn’t like strangers... but it doesn’t hate you either."
"Thanks?" I said.
She smiled faintly.
"That’s probably the best you’ll get."
I went to sleep hoping my dreams wouldn’t involve winking puddles or bloodthirsty marshmallows.
Spoiler: they did.