CHAPTER 45: I WAS BEING AN IDIOT

Cassian lay on the floor, curled into himself like a wounded animal. The tears had slowed to a trickle, but his body still trembled, shallow breaths catching in his throat, fingers digging into the carpet like he was trying to anchor himself to the present. The room was quiet except for the distant hum of the city outside, a world that kept spinning even though his had shattered.

He pushed himself up slowly, muscles protesting, throat burning with every swallow. His legs wobbled as he stood, but he forced them to hold. He needed to move. Needed to do something anything other than sit in this silence with the ghost of Lucian’s voice whispering Elliot over and over in his skull.

He caught his reflection in the full-length mirror by the closet.

Red-rimmed eyes. Hair wild. Shirt half-unbuttoned, revealing the dark, angry bruise blooming across the side of his neck fingers imprinted in purple and red, a brand of possession he hadn’t asked for, hadn’t wanted.

He stared at it.

Not with shame this time.

With something sharper. Something hotter.

Anger.

Lucian thought he could mark him and walk away like it meant nothing. Thought he could drag the past into this world and Cassian would just... take it. Like he always had.

But no.

Cassian reached for the nearest thing, his old gray hoodie, soft from years of wear, and removed his red shirt, and, yanking it over his head. He pulled the drawstrings tight, hiding the bruise, hiding his face, hiding everything. Not because he was ashamed.

But because seeing it made him feel like Lucian was still there, still holding him down, still whispering in his ear.

He wanted to go back. To Aiden. To Leonel. To the rooftop where laughter still echoed and the world felt safe.

But his body wouldn’t move. His legs felt like lead. His chest was too heavy.

So he stayed. Sat on the edge of his bed. Stared at his hands. Waited for the storm inside to quiet.

-------------

At the party

the music had lost its charm.

Leonel and Aiden moved through the crowd like shadows, eyes scanning, hearts pounding. Every laugh felt like a taunt. Every glance toward the stairs sent a jolt of dread through them.

Then they saw him.

Lucian sat at a corner table, one hand wrapped around a glass of water, the other pressed to a dried streak of blood at his temple. He looked calm. Too calm. Like he hadn’t just made someone vanish into the night.

Aiden was the first to move. He strode over, Leonel right behind him, both radiating fury barely held in check.

"Where is he?" Aiden asked, voice low, controlled but his knuckles were white.

Lucian didn’t look up. Just took a slow sip of water. "How should I know? Maybe he finally remembered who he really belongs to."

Leonel snapped.

In one motion, he grabbed Lucian by the collar and yanked him halfway out of his chair. His voice was a growl, quiet but lethal. "If you touched him, I swear to god -"

Lucian didn’t flinch. Didn’t blink. He just met Leonel’s eyes with a smirk that didn’t reach his cold, empty gaze. "what if i did touch him and Ask him yourself. He’ll tell you...maybe."

people were looking they were making too much of a fuzz disturbing the part mood so the Security arrived then two broad-shouldered men in black suits. "Gentlemen, this is a private event. Keep it civil."

Leonel released Lucian with a shove, chest heaving. Aiden stood rigid, jaw clenched so tight it ached.

As Lucian straightened his shirt, he glanced past them toward the exit. A knowing look flickered in his eyes. He knew where Cassian had gone.

And he wasn’t worried.

Because he knew Cassian would carry the weight of that night alone.

---

Back at the dorm, the hallway was silent.

Leonel and Aiden ran the whole way, breathless, hearts hammering against their ribs. They didn’t speak. Didn’t need to. The fear was the same in both of them What if he’s not there? What if he’s hurt? What if he’s gone?

Leonel threw the door open of cassian’s door without knocking.

And there he was.

Cassian sat on the edge of his bed, hoodie pulled up over his head, hands limp in his lap. He looked small. Fragile. Like one wrong word would make him disappear.

Aiden was the first to move. He walked slowly, carefully, like approaching a startled bird. He dropped to his knees in front of Cassian, close enough to see his face in the soft lamplight—but not close enough to touch.

"Hey," Aiden said softly. "Are you okay? Why are you here? What happened?"

Cassian lifted his head slightly. His eyes swollen, exhausted flicked to Aiden’s worried face, then past him to Leonel, who stood just inside the doorway, chest still rising and falling from the run, eyes locked on him with raw concern.

Cassian swallowed. "It’s nothing. Just... I was being an idiot. Like always."

Leonel’s expression darkened. He stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on Cassian’s shoulder. "Hey. Don’t say that about yourself."

The moment his fingers made contact

Cassian flinched.

Not a small jerk. A full-body recoil. His hand shot up and smacked Leonel’s arm away harder than he meant to.

Silence.

Cassian froze, eyes wide with horror. "I- I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t -I didn’t mean to -"

Leonel didn’t move. He just stared at Cassian’s terrified face, realization dawning like a slow, sickening wave.

Aiden went still beside them.

"What did that bastard do to you?" Leonel cut in, voice rough.

Aiden backed up slightly, giving space but his eyes never left Cassian. "We know you met him. What happened?"

Cassian trembled. Memories flashed Lucian’s grip, the box in his hands, the blood, the run. He looked down, unable to meet their eyes. "I... he messaged me. Said he’d hurt you both if I didn’t come. I agreed. I thought I could handle it." His voice cracked. "I fucked up. Got in a... wrong position. Tried to run. And in the panic... I just came here."

Aiden reached out slowly and took Cassian’s hand. Not to pull. Just to hold. His grip was firm, warm, grounding. "It’s fine. It’s okay. We understand. You were scared. We’ll give you time."

Cassian nodded, throat tight.

Aiden stood, then gave Leonel a subtle nod -let him be .

They turned to leave.

But as Leonel reached the door, something made him glance back.

And his breath stopped.

Beneath the shadow of the hoodie, just visible in the lamplight, was a mark. Dark. Distinct. Shaped like fingers.

His eyes widened.

He turned back sharply, striding over before Cassian could react. Gently but firmly, he pushed the hood off Cassian’s head—and tilted his chin up.

There it was.

A brutal bruise circling the side of Cassian’s neck. Fresh. Swollen. Undeniable.

Leonel’s voice rose, louder than he intended, raw with fury. "Did he do this? Did he fucking choke you to leave this much of a mark?!"

Aiden spun around, confused. "Leonel, don’t - not right now-" he said knowing its gonna back fire right now even tho he himself was angry listning there was a mark on his neck

But Cassian’s face crumpled.

Tears he’d been holding back spilled over silently, fast, and endless. He wasn’t crying because Leonel shouted. He was crying because he was already drowning in shame, in fear, in the weight of having failed them again and Leonel’s anger, even if it was for him, felt like another thing he couldn’t bear.

Leonel saw it.

And his rage shattered.

In an instant, he dropped to his knees and pulled Cassian into a tight, desperate hug. "I’m sorry," he whispered, voice breaking. "I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry - please don’t cry. Please."

Cassian buried his face in Leonel’s shoulder, his shoulders shaking, his tears soaking into Leonel’s shirt.

Aiden walked over slowly. He didn’t say anything grand. Just knelt beside them and placed a hand on both their heads Leonel’s tousled hair, Cassian’s trembling back and gave a soft, tired sigh.

"Don’t be such dummies, you guys."

For a long moment, no one moved. No one spoke. The only sound was Cassian’s quiet sobs slowly quieting, Leonel’s steady breathing, and Aiden’s hand warm and steady on them both.

Outside, the world kept turning cars hummed, stars blinked, time moved on.

But in this quiet room, wrapped in the warmth of Leonel’s arms and Aiden’s steady presence, Cassian finally breathed.

He hadn’t told them everything. Not about being Elliot. Not about the real world. Not about the fear that still coiled in his gut like a sleeping serpent.

But for now, none of that mattered.

Because they’d seen his bruise, his flinch, his tears and stayed anyway.

And in that moment, their silence spoke louder than any confession ever could.

but deep inside he was still scared what if he told them about everything about him not actually being cassian will their feelings change will aiden feel i snatched away the real cassian will leonel feel that cassian in not even a real person in his own world?