Chapter 65: The Muffin Maze Mayhem - I AM NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER, PLEASE STOP GIVING ME QUESTS - NovelsTime

I AM NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER, PLEASE STOP GIVING ME QUESTS

Chapter 65: The Muffin Maze Mayhem

Author: Guiltia_0064
updatedAt: 2025-09-27

CHAPTER 65: THE MUFFIN MAZE MAYHEM

The tunnel stretched deeper into the bowels of Vythrax’s lair, its rune-carved walls pulsing with a glow that screamed you’re probably gonna die in magical neon. The air was a sticky mix of syrup, chocolate, and the faint whiff of doom, with crumbs and coins crunching underfoot like a carpet of bad decisions. I led the way, clutching the Heart of Glimmerfen, its loaf-shaped orb throbbing like it was judging my every step. The Wyrm’s Quill buzzed in my other hand, its light flickering like a disco firefly on a sugar high. My coat was a disaster—torn, singed, glittering like a festival float that had lost a fight with a bakery explosion—but I felt a spark, like my old Loafbearer powers were mixing with the quill’s sugary chaos. I was Cecil Dreggs, the guy who’d once tripped over a muffin and accidentally started a tavern conga line. If I could pacify a dragon with doughnuts and survive a syrup flood, I could handle this tunnel. Probably.

My crew trudged behind, weapons drawn, looking like a circus act after a sugar-fueled bender. Lilith spun her scythe, her red eyes scanning the runes like they might jump out and attack. "Cecil, if you trigger another trap, I’m tying you to a rock and leaving you for whatever’s down here." Her smirk was sharp enough to cut bread.

Vorren hulked along, his knife glinting like it was ready to stab the tunnel itself. "If we die, I’m taking that orb, your coat, and whatever’s left of your pride." His growl echoed, low and menacing, but he stayed close, like he almost trusted me.

Jex, coated in sugar and chocolate syrup, whimpered like a kid lost in a haunted bakery. "No apples, no snacks, just sticky doom! Why am I here?" His voice cracked, bouncing off the walls like a dropped glass.

Yvra strode forward, her dress still pristine, defying the tunnel’s mess like it was beneath her royal dignity. "Cecil, if you lead us into another mess, I’ll have you scrubbing royal ovens until the end of time." Her tone was ice, but her eyes flicked to the Heart, curious despite herself.

Mister Fog floated above, sipping tea that smelled like burnt dreams and cryptic riddles. "The Heart’s power is growing, Cecil, but your focus is a crumbling scone. Channel it, or we’re all toast." His misty form shimmered, calm as ever.

Sir Thrain, dusted with flour and syrup, raised his lance. "For the crown’s sticky honor!" He charged, tripped over a rune, and crashed into a stalagmite with a CLUNK. "Dishonorable stone!" he groaned, helmet spinning like a top.

Sir Gorrim, his mustache a sticky tangle of sprinkles and yeast, waved his broken hilt. "By valor’s grace!" He slipped on a coin, landing in a crumb pile with a WHUMP. "Cursed debris!" he wheezed, flailing like a knight in quicksand.

I twirled the quill, forcing a grin despite the crew’s groans. "Chill, team. We’ve got the Heart, the quill, and my legendary Doughnut Lord vibes. This tunnel’s just a warm-up!" The quill buzzed, giving me a jolt of confidence, though my stomach churned like I’d eaten a cursed tart.

Lilith snorted, her scythe scraping the wall with a SKREEE. "Your ’vibes’ are why we’re wading through chocolate, you fool." Her tone was venom, but her eyes softened, like she was starting to believe I might survive the day.

The tunnel twisted, its runes pulsing faster, like they were mocking my life choices. The floor was a sticky mess of crumbs, syrup, and chocolate, making every step a gamble. I clutched the Heart, its glow warm, and felt a surge, like Valthorne’s power was whispering, You’re not a total screw-up. The quill buzzed, and a faint scent of muffins filled the air, which was either a good sign or a trap waiting to pounce.

The tunnel opened into a massive chamber, its walls lined with glowing muffin-shaped runes that pulsed like a baker’s nightmare. The floor was a maze of raised stone paths, winding between pits filled with... muffins? Thousands of them, steaming and golden, some studded with blueberries, others oozing chocolate. The air smelled like a bakery on steroids, and my stomach growled despite the danger.

"Whoa," I whispered, the quill buzzing like it was excited. "A muffin maze? This place is next-level."

Lilith’s eyes narrowed. "Cecil, if these muffins are a trap, I’m feeding you to them." Her scythe glinted, ready to slice.

Vorren grunted, sniffing the air. "Smells like a trick. Don’t eat anything, Dreggs." His knife twitched, like it wanted to stab a muffin.

Jex’s eyes lit up, sugar-crusted hands twitching. "Muffins! Can I have one? Just one?" He reached for a blueberry muffin, but Yvra grabbed his arm.

"Don’t," she snapped, her dagger poised. "Cecil, this is your fault. Fix it before we’re buried in baked goods." Her tone was cold, but her eyes flicked to the Heart, intrigued.

Mister Fog sipped his tea, floating above the maze. "The Heart’s power is tied to creation, Cecil. These muffins are no accident. Be cautious." His warning sent a chill down my spine.

Thrain raised his lance. "For the crown’s muffin-filled honor!" He charged, tripped over a path, and fell into a muffin pit with a SPLAT. "Dishonorable pastries!" he groaned, covered in crumbs.

Gorrim waved his hilt. "By valor’s grace!" He slipped, landing in muffins with a WHUMP. "Cursed confections!" he wheezed, flailing.

I raised the quill, Heart glowing. "Okay, team, let’s navigate this muffin minefield. Stay sharp!" I stepped onto a path, boots sticking to syrup. The runes pulsed, and a muffin leapt from a pit, flying at me with a WHOOSH. I ducked, and it splattered on the wall with a SPLORCH.

"Muffin attack?!" I yelped, quill flaring. I pointed it, and a giant bagel materialized, blocking another muffin with a THUD. The crew scattered, dodging flying pastries.

Lilith slashed a muffin, crumbs exploding with a POOF. "Cecil, you’re cursed! Fix this!" Her scythe spun, cutting through muffins like they’d insulted her family.

Vorren punched a muffin, sending it flying with a SPLAT

. "Who builds a muffin trap? I hate this place!" He dodged, surprisingly nimble for a mountain.

Jex caught a muffin, nibbling it. "It’s... amazing?" He ducked another, squealing. "But deadly!"

Yvra’s dagger pinned a muffin to the wall with a THWACK. "Cecil, end this before we’re buried!" Her glare was deadly, but her lips twitched, like she was fighting a laugh.

Mister Fog sipped his tea. "The quill channels your intent, Cecil. Focus, or we’re muffin fodder." His calm was infuriating, but it steadied me.

Thrain swung his lance, hitting a muffin that exploded with a SPLORCH. "For valor!" He tripped, rolling into a pit with a SPLAT. "Curse these pastries!" he groaned.

Gorrim flailed, his hilt waving. "By the crown’s grace!" He slipped, landing in muffins with a WHUMP. "Cursed crumbs!" he wheezed.

I pointed the quill, and a wall of doughnuts materialized, blocking a muffin barrage with a THUD-THUD. The trap paused, crumbs raining down. "See? I’m the Doughnut Lord!" I grinned, but the runes flared, and the maze shifted, paths moving with a GRIND. A new wave of muffins—chocolate chip, this time—flew at us, faster and meaner.

"Cecil!" Lilith yelled, slashing muffins. "You’re making it worse!" Sparks flew with a CRACKLE.

Vorren chucked a coin, hitting a muffin with a PING. "Fix this, Dreggs!" He punched another, crumbs flying.

Jex wailed, dodging. "I’m gonna be a muffin!" He ate another, whimpering.

Yvra’s dagger flew, pinning a muffin with a THWACK. "Cecil, end this!" Her voice was sharp, but her eyes flicked to the Heart, curious.

Mister Fog’s tea steamed. "The Heart’s power is waking. Channel it, Cecil." His warning echoed.

I raised the quill, Heart glowing like a sugary sun. "Hold on!" The quill flared, and a massive waffle appeared, blocking the muffins with a THUD. The maze stabilized, but the runes pulsed, hinting at more trouble. I led the way, boots sticking, ready for the next trap and a shot at being a real hero

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