CHAPTER 118: SIX TIMES A DAY AIN’T EVEN MY FINAL FORM

To complete the quest system assigned to me—like a virgin boss jealous of his employee for having a girlfriend—I have to open this cell and get out of it.

And to open the cell, I have to get the key of the big lock hanging on the cell like my testicles after hitting the limit of 6 times a day.

So for that, I asked Jack, the ghost, about which guard has the key to this cell. Since Jack was in this prison for more than a hundred years, he should know about it.

And he knew it too. He said it was an easy question with an easy answer. And he gave me that easy answer:

"No guard has it. The original guards lost the key twenty years ago."

My brows twitched. "The original guards? They lost the key? What even are original guards? Like real guards? Unlike the ones who just sit outside a bank with a rifle that was last fired in their mom’s wedding?"

"No, Pal. The guards in this prison are Malthus’ soldiers, but I was here before Malthus even arrived in this world. So the guards of that time who were in this level of the prison, lost the key for this cell twenty years ago. I overheard them talking one day about this.

And since they knew that I, the only criminal in this level, was dead, they didn’t bother to find the key as well. And as you know, no other criminal arrived in this level of the prison for all these years. So yeah, the key is lost."

I smacked my forehead.

Nothing good happened after I woke up from three months of sleep, not even night fall.

Jack placed his hand above my shoulder. "Don’t hit your head, pal. Think of something. We have to get out of this prison no matter what."

"Yeah. I know. We have to— Wait a second. We? Where did this we came from? There is no we

."

"What? I thought we were in this together?"

"You thought I would escape this prison with you? So that after I get out you can make sure that people get suspicious seeing me with a ghost if they aren’t at first?"

"Come on, pal. I will be hidden. I won’t make problems for you. No one would ever pay attention to me. I’ll act just like women rights—Non-existent."

"... That’s what I am worried about. They won’t see you, then your Ego would get hurt and then your panty dropper talent will awake, making sure they see you properly. And get some boxers, dude. Panties don’t suit you. Where did you even get them? And why is that everything you have is brown including your teeth? Were you born in a public toilet?"

"I will try to not remove my pants. And these panties belonged to my landlady. I stole them when she fell from her bathroom to my basement. The ritual might have not worked the way I wanted, but I managed to get a memento from that at least.

And I can’t change these clothes because I am in these clothes from the moment I became a ghost for some reason. This is not under my control.

I can only remove these clothes, not wear a different one. And my favourite color is brown so I think I got everything brown as default. Want to see where else I have brown things?"

"No. I already gathered enough trauma to last a lifetime. But what’s with your french beard?"

"Oh. I always had this. Dead or alive. I like this style because when I used to look in the mirror, this beard around my mouth made it look like there is a vagi—"

"That’s enough. And thanks for assuring me that my idea for not taking you with me is right."

"No!"

"Yes."

"I don’t want to stay in this prison for a hundred years more! I am sure you know how it feels to be trapped somewhere for a long time. The children you released from your basement must have told you that."

"... I don’t know what you are talking about and it’s not my problem. And for your information, I never released those children. So don’t falsely accuse me."

"Okay, I won’t. But please? I will do whatever you say. Whatever

you say."

"Don’t tempt me like that. It won’t work this time."

"This time? So you have been tempted before? And it has worked?"

"No. It never worked. It was a slip of tongue."

"Please, pal. I will die out here. I want to see the world. I can even help you in so many ways during your mission."

"Help? How? By doing a roadshow and earning pennies by passing through various things?"

"What? No! That’s so cheap— Wait. No. It’s a good idea. Easy money. You are so smart, pal. Please take me with you. You can help me in many ways."

"Now you changed your pitch."

"Fcuk the pitch. See my desperation. I have been living here in darkness for a hundred and fifty years, pal. I couldn’t even die and start a new life. I have become a ghost. I have spent my whole life living in loneliness, I don’t want to spend my death like that too. Grow a heart and take me with you, pal."

Jack’s voice cracked in the end as with all the emotions he could summon, he stared at me.

His eyes spoke of a deep sense of solitude and like he said, I found my heart squeezing with pity.

Jack was a man who lived alone and died alone.

He was a lonely man.

I stared at him and sighed.

"I understand your pain. It’s too much to bear. And what you said was touching and filled with grief..."

I finally came to a conclusion.

I looked Jack in the eyes.

A man who had lived alone for more than a hundred years...

"I still won’t take you with me."

Can live for another hundred years with no problem.

"Da fuck?"

Jack shot up from the floor.

"What did you say?" He asked.

"I won’t take you with me." I repeated.

"Fine." Jack crossed his arms. "How’s this? I will pass through walls and go to the women’s bathroom and tell you about their structure in detail."

"... You are coming with me."

"Thanks."

Jack sat back down on the floor.

Silence.

[ ... Today I witnessed how two perverts lock a deal. ]

’Pleasure is mine.’

"Mine too, system pal."

[ I am not thanking you, bitch! What the fuck was all that? You refused Jack after he said his heart wrenching part and you agreed just after he proposed that he will do a crime for you? You literally have zero qualities of a Hero king. Forget Malthus, I would eat your heart too. ]

’Shut up. Let me focus on the quest. I am serious.’

[ I wish your parents were serious too that night. Their one night fcuk result is now about fcuk this world. ]

I see. Welp...

Ouch.