CHAPTER 73: GIDEON’S BURDEN OF THOUGHT

Arriving at the village tavern, Gideon was welcomed by Lena, the tavern owner’s wife who also served drinks at night.

This was the first time Gideon had come since the villagers knew his real identity, and Lena was really shy because she had once spoken directly with the Baron.

The memory was still clear in her head. She even remembered every word they had talked. But the villagers’ perception had started to change. Gideon was not Nozel, so there was no point in hating him.

"Give me your best drink," said Gideon, reaching into his pants and handing her a few copper coins.

"Keep your money. Think of this as my thanks."

"You lowered the tax. You helped all of us," Lena replied.

She poured the beer into a wooden mug in front of Gideon. The tavern guests turned their attention to the side, watching clearly as Gideon sat at the bar table facing Lena.

Some of them raised their mugs, and then Lena did the same. Gideon was caught off guard by this.

"A toast to Baron Gideon!" Lena shouted loudly.

"To Baron Gideon!" the tavern guests repeated firmly, raising their mugs together.

"Ha ha!"

"Raise your mugs, I’ll change all of your lives!" Gideon shouted, joining them.

"CHEERS!"

The tavern’s atmosphere became much warmer and livelier than before. Gideon was a Baron, and normally it would not be proper for him to enjoy beer with them, since the previous Baron had never once come here.

But Gideon was different. He had no hesitation to mingle with the villagers, drinking with them and laughing at small things.

Moments like this broke down the barrier of social hierarchy, bringing Gideon closer to them, and them to him.

They went back to their tables, while Gideon stayed seated at the bar. Lena appeared at the tavern entrance, seeing the evening crowd filled mostly with men.

"Welcome," said Lena, the tavern servant.

Lena nodded. She sat in the empty chair next to Gideon. Gideon turned in shock, not expecting Lena to be right beside him.

"Lena?" Gideon asked.

"Yes, do you need something?" asked Lena, the tavern servant.

"No, not you."

"What are you doing here?" Gideon asked his friend Lena.

"You left after dinner. Even though you had wine at your house, why did you come to the tavern?" asked Lena, Gideon’s friend.

"I-I just—"

"Tell me, what is weighing on your mind right now?" asked Lena.

Gideon went silent, then leaned forward with his eyes fixed on the beer in his wooden mug.

Lena had been his friend for a long time, they had gone through many things together to reach this point. It was only natural that she could sense something was wrong with him today.

She ordered the same beer as Gideon. She introduced herself to Lena the tavern servant, who was startled, then smiled and chuckled after realizing Gideon’s friend shared the same name as her.

Lena received her mug of beer by paying, but Lena the tavern servant refused. Today, in honor of Gideon and his team, she would make the drinks free. Lena, Gideon’s friend, nodded and thanked her.

"I think maybe I’m giving my team too much responsibility," Gideon explained, sipping his beer.

"Did what I said earlier bother you?" Lena asked.

"I’ve felt it for a long time. Since the river incident in the swamp."

Lena cleared her throat and slowly drank her beer. Though not as good as wine, the drink was still decent, and its taste reminded her of the tavern in Nemora village.

"Do you think we are weighed down by our duties?" Lena asked. Gideon stayed silent.

Sigh!

"I don’t know why you’re thinking about that, but you’re our captain. You’re responsible for us."

"Yes, but we’re in a fantasy world, you still call me captain because I’m still here. What if I had been separated from you since the beginning?"

"We would still call you that. Because you’re our captain."

Gideon froze, gripping his half-full wooden mug of beer. His mind was in chaos and he didn’t know how to respond. He still felt afraid, torn, and burdened whenever he gave tasks to Luke, Lyra, or even Lena.

His hand shook, sweat dripping down his head even though the weather was cold. Lena turned, seeing Gideon’s anxious face with her eyes wide.

"I-I... must not burden you."

"Damn it!" Lena said firmly.

"Lena, get me some water."

Lena the tavern servant turned and saw Lena, Gideon’s friend, holding onto his trembling body.

Lena knew exactly what was happening to him, his PTSD symptoms had come back after all those thoughts.

A glass of water was placed on the bar in front of Gideon. Neither Lena nor Gideon had any medicine for stress relief. The only way to calm him was through basic anxiety therapy.

"Captain, look at me. Count with me. In... two... three... four. Hold. Out... two... three... four. Repeat."

Lena kept repeating the same thing over and over, trying to remind Gideon that he was not on the battlefield, and that he had never burdened his team.

It was purely to suggest his thoughts in a way that could help ease his anxiety.

Everything Lena did seemed useless, Gideon was still in the same condition. Lena the tavern servant realized how dangerous this was, so she offered an empty room upstairs for Gideon and his friend.

Lena agreed. With the help of other villagers, they carried Gideon’s body upstairs until he lay on the bed. Gideon curled up, clutching his head, repeating the same words over and over.

"I’m sorry!"

"I’m sorry."

She realized counting therapy alone was not enough. She closed the door and opened the window, letting fresh air circulate in the room.

Lena sat on the edge of the bed and guided Gideon to sit up. He obeyed. Lena reached out her arms and embraced him. Gideon did not resist.

"Forgive me, Gideon."

KISS!

Unexpectedly, Lena leaned in and pressed her soft pink lips against Gideon’s. Her hand reached out and held his, and Gideon could clearly see Lena kissing him.

The kiss was warm, sweet, and wet. The soft touch of Lena’s lips and her playful tongue ended Gideon’s anxiety attack. As a result, Gideon felt extremely exhausted and sleepy.

He let go of the kiss and lay down on the bed. Lena also pulled away, her face flushed bright red with embarrassment, because she had just kissed the man she liked.

I kissed him. I’m such a mess.

But at least he can rest now, even if those symptoms might come back again.

KNOCK!

The bedroom door was tapped gently. Lena quickly stood up and walked to the door.

There, she saw Lena the tavern servant carrying a snack and a glass of water for Gideon. She was worried that he might have been injured from the earlier convulsions.

But Lena the tavern servant saw Gideon already asleep on the bed, undisturbed, which meant he had been calmed down by his friend Lena.

"Sorry, it seems Gideon can’t go home tonight. Do you mind if he sleeps here in this room?" Lena asked.

"No. You may use it. That room is empty anyway."

"Thank you so much."