I Got Isekai’d, Well Shyt!
*Vol.5 Ch.266 Sir George, The Bed Destroyer
*VOL.5 CH.266 SIR GEORGE, THE BED DESTROYER
The Crown Prince of Fiafyr was walking down the palace's hallways, heading towards his study, where Johan was waiting. Normally, he would have been happy to be pulled out of his forced get-together with Princess Hilda. But now, his mind was clouded with confusion and anger.
'How can I help her... Goddess be damned...'
Quinus had a dark cloud floating over him as he walked. He was trying his best not to lose his temper, and it was taking all of his willpower. This didn't go unnoticed by his two long-time retainers, Sir George and Percy. They could tell that the Prince was going through some emotions, and they didn't know what the cause was.
Percy looked at Sir George, who shrugged.
"Um... My Lord, are you okay?" Percy asked.
Quinus didn't respond. His jaw clenched tightly.
"My Lord?... Did the Alliance Princess offend you?" Sir George asked.
Quinus stopped in his tracks, and so did the two retainers. The Prince lowered his head and shoulders in defeat before he took a big sigh.
"It's Princess Hilda, Sir George..." Quinus muttered.
"My Lord?" Sir George asked with confusion.
Quinus turned around and looked at his retainers. "Her name is Princess Hilda."
"Right... Did Princess Hilda offend you, Your Highness?" Sir George asked again.
"No..." Quinus looked down. "It's the opposite. She was too kind."
"Too kind?" Percy asked.
"That's right," Quinus nodded.
Percy felt bad for the Prince, while Sir George was skeptical and looked unimpressed while crossing his arms. The knight did care for his lordship's self-pity: "Are you sure you're not getting tricked?"
"Sir George!" Percy shouted.
Quinus looked at George with anger, "Don't doubt my judgment, Sir George. Or I'll—"
"Mock me?... Fine!... But Princess Hilda has been working with your Uncle... And you expect me to believe that she isn't tricking you into falling in love with her."
"I'm not in love with her, George! I—"
Quinus stopped himself before he yelled out louder. He thought for a moment before he spoke again.
"Listen... I know my Aunt has invited Hilda to meet at her estate, and that is not good, but I think she's just a tool for something... What that is... I have no idea. But I can't believe that she's not being used... She's an innocent lady who's an object for multiple people to get to me."
Sir George sighed.
"My Lord... I don't doubt your intuition. You're a very intelligent man. But you're being emotional about this."
Percy wanted to argue with Sir George, but he was oddly right. Percy saw his liege as his big brother, and they grew up together. The Ranger felt the same way. Quinus was always the smartest man he'd ever known, and his liege had the ability to come out on top from bad situations.
But the ranger can't blame Sir George for questioning the Prince's decision-making. He's seen the Prince make rash decisions in the past, and the Knight has been there for each and every one to help him come on top.
"Quin?... Are you sure she is not playing you?" Percy asked.
"Look, guys," Quinus sighed. "I understand where you're both coming from... And you're right, George. I am being emotional about this... But that's because she will most likely be killed for all the sins she's supposedly committed to be here today. And it's bullshit that she's going to pay with her life if she's unable to marry me, and there is nothing I can do to stop it once I marry Rya."
"Tsk!... The Divine Three are too kind to their followers who don't follow the rules," Sir George said in a mocking tone. "So what is the best option to save her, Your Highness?" He asked as he knew that was what was on his liege's mind.
Quinus looked down, "I can't do the easiest option."
"Easy option?" Percy asked.
Quinus took a breath and looked back up, "That would be to marry her."
Percy looked worried while Sir George gave him an "Oh, come on" look. That irritated Quinus as his attention snapped towards his knight.
"So do you have a better idea, George!? If not, then keep your mouth shut!" Quinus shouted.
George didn't finch, so he just shook his head and sighed again.
"My Lord, I don't see what the issue is... If she's as trustworthy as you think she is, then marry her," Sir George said.
Percy and Quinus looked at the older knight in disbelief.
"I'm not leaving Rya, George!... You can't expect me to give up my entire future for someone who's a stranger. Do you understand how insane that is!?" Quinus said.
Sir George closed his eyes and sighed again before looking at Quinus.
"My Liege... Why don't you just marry both of them?"
The two stared at him, and they looked at each other.
"Are you serious, Sir George?" Quinus asked.
"As a
dragon attack, Your Highness."
Quinus squinted at George like he was an idiot, "The nobility won't approve of it, George... My father could only marry one woman, and that's my mother."
"That restriction was only for your father and uncle, My Lord... It was to keep the peace between the two of them so Alaric couldn't become the King, but you don't have that restriction, and it could work if Lady Rya approves of the idea," George said.
Quinus had heard a lot of pathetic love advice from the "Love Sage," but this one took the cake.
"Let me get this straight... You think that I should marry both Rya and Hilda... And this will make all the problems go away... George, do you have any idea how stupid that sounds!? Rya and Hilda would be at each other's throats!"
"I know that my sage advice hasn't been good in the past, and I can admit it now that I've perfected my research on this subject. And my nine pillars of courtship are almost complete, thanks to me observing Percy, Johan, and your relationship with each of your loved ones. This will work, My Lord... and I guarantee it."
Quinus didn't like it, and he wanted to throw him out. Percy had been on the receiving end of George's advice and lost his first love because of it, but he wanted to hear what the old knight had in store.
"So what is this revelation that you found, George?" Percy asked.
"Well, my young lad, I realized that my courtship techniques were missing a valuable pillar. A pillar that could be a game-changer in the field of love. That pillar focuses on the target's—I mean, a woman's personality and how her personality meshes with your own. What makes them work together is that they have a 40 to 50 percent compatibility. At the same time, the things they aren't compatible with are actually a mild curiosity of their separate interests that they support. Like how Lady Rya is fantastic about dealing with complex transactions in trade deals and efficiency, while His Highness is an amazing engineer who loves inventing new things. So they would both have the same goal, but the different methods they take would benefit each other."
Quinus and Percy were dumbfounded. This was the first time George had made any sense in a long time.
"This is the most ridiculous thing that I've ever heard," Quinus said, doubting that Sir George had figured something out about relationships.
"I agree," Percy said.
"Hold on... Before you two brush me off like I'm some crazy fool. Just answer my questions truthfully."
"Fine, George, what's your first question?" Quinus asked.
"My lord, what are your thoughts on Princess Hilda Stoneworthh? Is she attractive or unattractive?"
Quinus frowned at Sir George before answering, "She's gorgeous... But—"
"Hold on!... Don't jump ahead, My Lord... Now, do you like her personality or not?"
"Well, I guess that she has a cute personality... She's sweet and innocent, and she doesn't know the first thing about anything that is not princess-related... B-But I only see her as a possible friend... She kind of reminds me of Nieren in some ways with their naivety. Nieren is really adorable when she struggles when casting Green Word, or she stutters when I sneak up on her. Plus, she's strong when she needs to be, and I trust her to protect Rya... She's a very good friend to have... And I think Hilda would be in that same category."
Sir George glanced at Percy, who just shrugged his shoulders.
"Well, you cut off a bunch of other questions I was going to ask, but I think it's possible for you to wed both of them."
Quinus glared at George, who put up his hands defensively, "I'm serious... It's very rare, but I've done some other research on men who might be multi-women men... Answer me this question—"
"This better be going somewhere, George. This is ridiculous."
"It is, I promise, just bear with me. How long do you make love to your lover, and how many times do you peak or climax?" Sir George asked.
"What!? George, what does that have to do with anything!"
"It has everything to do with the answer. Do you peak in a couple of seconds? Minutes? Hours?"
"Ummm, it depends, I guess," Quinus blushed as he thought about how he and Rya would go for hours, making love.
"That's my point. There are a few men out there who can satisfy multiple women."
"I'm not following," Percy said.
"It's an uncommon trait for men to peak two times. It's rarer for a small amount of men to peak three to six times... My Lord... I've been on the night watch enough times to know that Lady Rya doesn't satisfy you—"
"Are you blaming my love for not satisfying me, Sir George?" Quinus growled, glaring at his retainer.
"No, my lord... I'm not blaming her... She's an amazing woman... But the one who's at fault... Is you..."
"George, what are you talking about?"
"My lord, it's a rare trait for a man to peak a lot. I've heard you peak ten times in over three hours, and Lady Rya tried her hardest to stay awake, and she tried to calm your manhood down, but it sounds like you are still raging to go. It's not your lover's fault; she's trying her best, and she cares for you.
But there's only so much her body can take."
Quinus wanted to chastise him right then and there, but he couldn't help but feel ashamed. He wished his cock would stop growing harder and harder after every time he unloaded inside of Rya. He wanted that feeling of slumber after making love, but he never got it. It was like he was getting blue balled, but it felt like he unloaded a liter inside his lover.
"So... What's the solution, George?" Quinus sighed.
"Well... If you really wanted to... I can see you having ten to twenty women in your harem. My—"
"George!? Are you insane!? That—"
"I know! That's only if you didn't care about who those women were and your goal was to collect them as trophies or something. This option would help with your bedroom needs, but growing any meaningful relationships with the women would be a challenge. Lady Rya would not approve."
"Okay?... So, what are you getting at?"
"What I'm getting at is you would prefer to aim for the quality option... I know that you value your lovers in their personality and that they are equal to you. Plus, I can tell that you have a heart big enough to give every one of them your love. That's why I believe the minimum route is the best choice. And you can make it work with three women."
Quinus didn't respond. He looked at the ground, trying to calm down.
'Three wives!? Is he nuts!? I love Rya with all my heart! She's a goddess! And I'm just a man... How can I possibly satisfy two other women!? What would Rya think?'
Sir George knew that look. His Prince didn't believe him. The knight sighed and looked at the young ranger.
"Percy... Same question as our Lord... How many times do you peak with Lady Dalia a day?"
"Huh?... Geez... I probably hit three peaks on average?... On a good day, I can peak six times, but then I'm toast..."
"So, Percy technically can be a three-woman man if he wants to be selfish about it... But he isn't the best at dividing up his attention to others. So his best option is to stay with one woman and make it work... This is why Lady Dalia has become so territorial of him and why he is so loyal to her. Percy isn't loyal to her because she's a Wolfkin or because she's a demi-human... It's because she is a loyal partner who shares her life with him. Percy can be himself with her; she is more than willing to take advantage of everything he has to offer. So remember Percy, she's perfect for you... So don't toss her away just because she's not human." Goerge warned the young ranger.
"The hell?... I would be a moron to toss her away. Why would you even suggest that I was thinking that? That's cruel!" Percy shouted.
"I wasn't suggesting that you do that, Percy. I was using it as an example of how I've come up with my evaluations for single-woman men compared to multi-woman men... And the Crown Prince can easily be a multi-woman man. He's capable of loving multiple women and making them his queens. By doing so, he can have his head wife as Lady Rya and have the heir wife as Princess Hilda. The Prime Minister can't argue to the other nobles that the royal line will end when Hilda can give birth to an heir, and Rya will be there for the healing, enforcing, and loving care of the Crown Prince. And I think this can work if Lady Rya is the head wife because I've seen how she teases other women. It's like she enjoys flirting with the others and might entertain them while sharing the same bed, which is why she'll enjoy being a Queen with two other queens at her beck and call. It just depends on whether she can bury the hatchet with the Princess. Whatever you choose, I believe you will be a great King if you follow my advice."
Quinus closed his eyes and thought for a long moment. The silence was deafening as the three men stood in front of each other.
'Dammit!... In some ways, he's right. But it's insane to just jump right into marrying another woman out of the blue. Not even a few days ago, Hilda kept sniping at Rya, something about her weight, which is stupid because Rya looks gorgeous like she always is, only for Rya to retaliate by telling the Princess that her Gods have abandoned their followers from another planet and they were going to do the same thing to the Alliance, which made Hilda puff out her cheeks in anger. And I'm sure they'll fight again and again... B-But Rya is really cute when she outtalks Hilda, and Hilda is adorable when she's pouting. Ugh, dammit, it's not going to be easy! And!?... Hold on? Is this some ploy that Sir George has cooked up? He said his research wasn't fully complete,' Quinus thought as he slowly lifted up his head and looked at Sir George with squinted eyes.
"What?" Sir George asked as he raised his hands up.
"What do you get out of this, George? You said your research wasn't complete. So what are you hiding? What's your motive for helping me?"
"Oh, that... Well, the truth is, my Pillars of Courtship is lacking in some fields for... well, this is embarrassing to say?... Human Females... I lack the research to truly understand human females, and I know I've bragged in the past about my Love Sage advice, but it wasn't until I observed you two. I realized I had been neglecting my research on human females, and that's because Dalia and Rya aren't humans, so my pillars will only work for men looking for Wolfkins or Dark Elves. So, I was hoping to study how human female minds work. And the best way for me to do that is by studying Hilda and her maid. So, if you do go down this route, it will help me immensely. But obviously, you don't have to go through it from my account, My Lord," Sir George answered honestly and then shrugged.
Percy and Quinus looked at each other again, not sure what to make of the situation. Percy was the first to ask another question.
"
You couldn't get any research from Lord Johan and Lady Tayna? I mean, she's human, and they're married, right? Wouldn't they be able to help you out, or have you asked?" Percy questioned, raising a brow.
Sir George chuckled and shook his head.
"I tried and got preliminary research from them, but they don't sleep in the palace, and I'm not their security detail at night, so observing them in a romantic state is not possible. Plus, we've only been on the road with them for only two weeks. I don't fully trust that my information is accurate enough to use in a situation such as this, even if I were to get accurate data. I would still need to know what human females are attracted to when it comes to courting. Money helps with the initial part of getting their attention, but the other two approaches don't work as I initially thought," Sir George admitted.
Quinus clicked his tongue as Sir George finally gave up on his old approach.
"So, you finally stopped using the Ignoring and Insulating techniques... Took you long enough, old man. You do realize that Rya was a human before she came to Tertius, right?"
Percy was confused because this was the first time that he'd ever heard that Rya was a human and she wasn't from Tertius.
"W-Wait? Rya wasn't from—"
Quinus and Sir George were locked into a heated discussion that Percy had interrupted.
"OH!? But she was a human man, Your Highness. She didn't turn into a human female before becoming a Dark Elf, so her feminine instincts are more attuned to her new race's instincts. Besides, how would a former human man know what women want out of a male suitor?"
"L-Lady Rya was a man? H-How did that—"
Percy was ignored again as the two continued their argument.
"She was a human male before coming to Tertius, so of course, she would know what a man wants in a woman! Because she was one, and you should stop being so stubborn. She's the reason that Lady Tayna fell in love with her husband. Just ask her, and she'll tell you exactly what Rya did. And she also convinced Dalia to give Percy a chance despite him being a human male," Quinus explained.
Percy's head was spinning, and when he was about to ask a question, he saw Sir George getting ready to yell at the Prince, so he hurried to cover his mouth before the entire palace knew about Rya's secret.
"LISTEN HERE! SHE WOULDN~MMM! MMH! Mmm!?" Sir George was furious as Percy stopped him from going on a rant. He hated it when Quinus was right about the ways of courtship, and he didn't want to admit it.
"Shhhh! Are you trying to tell the whole palace about the secret that Lady Rya is a human man? We here to protect her," Percy explained, which caused Sir George to stop struggling.
Sir George and Quinus realized what they had done and grimaced. They had almost blown the secret that was only shared among their closest friends.
Quinus cleared his throat as Percy let go of Sir George's mouth.
"S-Sorry about that, old man. I wasn't in the right head space... and I know that you are trying to help, but I don't think it is as easy as you think it is," Quinus explained.
Sir George nodded his head in agreement as he realized his mistake.
"It's fine, Your Highness. I am not trying to belittle your efforts. I just don't see it as such a problem when you are clearly capable of sharing your love with at least three women. But if you don't want to go that route, then I will respect that."
Quinus took a deep breath before nodding his head, "Your recommendation has been duly noted, Sir George. And I thank you for trying to help."
"You are welcome, Your Highness."
The air seemed to be cleared between the two, and Quinus was about to continue towards his office to speak with Johan. But before the group started to make their way out of the hallway, Percy had a question that was bugging him.
"Hey, Sir George? I have a question for you."
"Hmm?" Sir George grunted while looking at the young ranger.
"If I'm a single-woman man and the Prince is a triple-woman man... Where do you fall on the spectrum?"
The old knight burst out in laughter when Percy asked him this question.
"HAHAHAHA! Is that the real question you had? Isn't it obvious, Percy?"
Quinus and Percy glanced at each other as they both felt like Sir George was trying to pull their legs.
"What do you mean?" Percy asked.
"Hahaha. What do I mean? I am easily a forty-NO! Fifty-women man, minium, of course. My research is sound on this, and no single woman would be able to handle the likes of Sir George, the Bed Destroyer!" the old knight replied triumphantly.
Percy and Quinus didn't believe a word the old man said and shook their heads at the man's delusions.
"I thought he referred to himself as the 'Love Sage?' Where did this Bed Destroyer title come from?" Percy whispered to Quinus.
"It's best not to ask about it, Percy. It's just going to make the old man's ego even bigger."
The two young men nodded their heads and decided to leave Sir George standing there, lost in his own thoughts.
"Hahaha! I probably should invest in a metal bed frame for the-HEY!? Did you two try to ditch me? Hey! Slow down! I am trying to catch up with you! Wait for me, dammit!"
As the old knight ran after his Prince and Percy. Quinus couldn't help but have a smile on his face.
'When are you going to learn, George... Well, at least he's entertaining.'
"Come on! Quit ignoring me! You can't escape the great Sir George the Bed Destroyer! Hahaha!"
And so, the group continued their day in the Royal Palace.