CHAPTER 40: FIRST MORNING AS NEWLYWEDS

When life gives you lemons, I squeeze them. In my case, though, it feels more like I’ve been handed two big melons this time. But that’s beside the point.

And so began my month as Death’s husband... Seriously, am I in a romance fantasy book? What even is this? It’s ridiculous.

Yet somehow, I chose to embrace this lifestyle. Not like I can escape this punishment quest anyway. And, honestly, it’s way better here than in that cursed forest.

Today marks day four of my new life. The night was... interesting. I ended up sleeping beside Death herself. It was chilly, to say the least. The bed was comfy enough, but the problem was the creature pressed against me—now in her flesh form—body curved against mine. It wasn’t warmth I felt. No, her skin was like ice, pure frozen stone masquerading as flesh. So cold... and yet, somehow, I slept better than I have in years.

"Coffee?" Death stepped into the room, balancing a wooden tray in her hands. On it sat a strangely shaped mug filled with pitch-black liquid, along with a few chunks of bread.

"What?" I blink at her, still half-dazed in bed, as she crosses the room and sits beside me like some devoted housewife.

An earthy, bitter scent hit my nose. The liquid in the mug is so black it could swallow light itself. Yeah... That’s straight death juice. No way in hell am I drinking that.

"This is coffee, the most loved drink in the world of the living." She smiles at me so warmly it feels like a frozen sun. I’ll leave it up to your imagination to figure that one out...

"There’s no way. I’ve never heard of it before. It smells so bad... are you sure?" I take the mug reluctantly. Honestly, I’d rather just drink the cola from before. That reminds me... where is my cola my dear reader gave to me?

"Just take a few sips. You will soon understand why. Likely your universe does not have this drink—or at least not in your country..." She presses a finger to her soft lips, looking extremely cute... She’s so perfect—NO! Snap out of it, Quill! It’s not the time to fall for the fake charm!

"F-fine... just one sip..." Maybe it’s because my courage shot up a little too much, but I feel little to no fear as I lift the too-perfect-to-exist mug and take a sip...

The taste is horrible. Instantly my tongue is assaulted by such immense bitterness I nearly spit it out. Yeah... this is poison after all.

May I rest in peace now... my dear readers, don’t forget me. From today, the Quill you knew is gone. Welcome... the skeleton Quill.

But, despite my inner panic, I’m... okay? Wait...

I take another sip. It’s just as bitter, yet I can’t seem to stop. It’s addictive.

Before I know it, I down the entire cup in one go and glance at the bread on the tray. "Is that also for me?" I ask, saliva dripping from my lips. I haven’t had real food in forever. Please don’t let this be an illusion where I end up chewing on slugs or something.

"Mhm." She nods, and I carefully pick it up. The bread is soft—shockingly so. The kind of bread only a king could afford. Normally, commoners like me chew on dried-out, rock-hard loaves... but this... this is divine.

And wait—there’s meat inside? And vegetables? Am I in heaven or hell?!

"It’s called a sandwich, dear. It’s one of the most popular foods in the universe." She smiles warmly, watching me expectantly.

"Listen, I have no idea what your words mean, but as long as you feed me and don’t poison me, consider me happy." I lift the so-called sandwich to my mouth and take a bite.

"WOAH..." I mumble through a full mouth. Readers, you must try this! The flavors explode on my tongue, rich and perfect even though the meal is cold. And best of all—it’s not larvae. Ah... this is heaven. Why did I ever doubt this amazing creature? I mean... my wife.

I glance at Death. She’s watching my every movement with eyes I can only describe as overflowing with love. Seriously, how did this happen? I’ve never experienced the feeling of someone watching me eat like this. It’s awkward... and yet, somehow, relaxing. For the first time, I start to think maybe life here wouldn’t be so bad after all.

"Thank you," I say once I finish the sandwich. "It’s the best thing I’ve ever had. I never knew food could taste this good."

Her eyes tremble, sparkling as her smile widens. In this moment, she looks less like the terrifying creature that ends lives and more like a simple girl glowing with joy.

"I’m glad you liked it. With me as your wife, you’ll never need to worry about cooking again. Your happiness is my happiness."

AHHH... so sweet... so soft... so kind... No, no, this can’t be real. Did I actually die and start living in a fantasy?

She suddenly takes my hand. It’s cold as ice, but strangely... I don’t mind it.

"You’re warm, Quill..." she whispers, leaning closer. My heart slams in my chest. What is she doing? Why is she leaning in?!

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[Hello, Big Boss here!]

[Since Quill is still technically underage, I cannot show you this scene. Otherwise the novel would be taken down. But I’ll leave it up to your imagination what happens when an adult woman and man meet with their lips.]

[Moving on with the story—]

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Dear readers, today I, Quill, have become half a man... Was it too early? Was I playing with fire? I’m not sure. It happened so suddenly I didn’t even have time to think. All I can say is—it was biting cold, but it felt amazing.

The rest of my day has been pretty boring. Death said she had to take care of some matters. I figured being Death must be a busy job, but then she explained she isn’t exactly a single entity. It’s... complicated. Some kind of multiversal-level nonsense that would make my brain explode if I tried to grasp it. Nice. Well, at least life is good here.

But damn it, I miss my author powers. AHHH—I miss reading the comments. At the very least, the system could allow that. I’m going to die of boredom here, and worse, all my readers are going to run away...

"Hello, Quill." A familiar voice rang in my ears.

"Big Boss!" For once, I actually feel happy to see this annoying thing.

"We see you’re doing well. Too well... To think you’d even turn a punishment quest into a reward. We underestimated you..."

Reward? Is it talking about Death as a wife? I mean... hehehe.

"Is it bad?" I scratch the back of my head awkwardly.

"You’ll see in the future. As for now... it’s time for some comment reading and replying. I’ll allow you to use your powers for just this once."