Chapter 554 - 283: Beast in Human Guise, Zombies with Feelings - I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality - NovelsTime

I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality

Chapter 554 - 283: Beast in Human Guise, Zombies with Feelings

Author: One lotus signifies summer
updatedAt: 2025-11-07

CHAPTER 554: CHAPTER 283: BEAST IN HUMAN GUISE, ZOMBIES WITH FEELINGS

In the stillness of the deep night, inside the Funeral Shop.

Xu Qing, dressed in an opera costume of the Overlord, sat wide-legged, like a dominant figure atop a coffin.

In front of him, Boss Liu held brushes and oil paints, intently painting the face paint for him.

The Overlord’s face was starkly black and white, with no other colors.

Liu Su’e, having grown up in an opera troupe, could effortlessly master any face paint!

Soon, a solemn and mournful image of the Overlord appeared out of thin air.

Xu Qing picked up the copper mirror, and in his reflection, he saw both the Overlord’s world-shaking might and his self-destructive stubbornness, trapped in a desperate situation.

Xuan Yu curiously moved closer to observe, only to see Xu Qing suddenly widen his eyes in a mock threatening gesture at it.

"..."

The dark cat stared with wide eyes, unblinking, completely unperturbed.

The cat recognized only scents; as long as the scent of the Xu Immortal Family lingered, no matter what Xu Qing did, Xuan Yu would not feel threatened.

If it wasn’t for this unconditional trust, it wouldn’t have sacrificed a life.

Xu Qing looked at the copper mirror and pondered it for a while.

With his mourning face, if he went out at night and widened his eyes, not to mention children, even timid adults would be scared witless.

"Is Brother Xu going to perform a funerary opera for someone?"

Seeing Xu Qing nod, Liu Su’e said doubtfully, "But according to our funerary customs, aren’t big face paint performances forbidden?"

In funerary customs, for funerary operas for the deceased, only dan and sheng roles could be performed, big face paint actors were not allowed on stage, nor were loud gongs and drums permitted, lest they disturb the ’guests’.

Previously, before Liu Su’e joined the hall, the Pear Garden Theater had promised to collaborate with Xu Qing for a funerary opera.

Xu Qing explicitly instructed that no big face paint actors could go on stage, only dan and sheng roles could sing.

However, on that day, Second Master Feng happened to negotiate a business deal with a wealthy merchant from the Jin Sect and booked the Pear Garden Theater.

The wealthy merchant had little interest in other performances but loved sheng and dan roles, so Master Chen, keeping Xu Qing’s reminder in mind, said to Second Master Feng, "Today the dan roles are insufficient; just agreed to an external performance. How about we add a few big face acts to fill the slots?"

Second Master Feng refused outright without a second thought, "Boss Bai dislikes big face acts the most, doesn’t like martial opera or comedy either, just loves hearing the dan and sheng roles sing."

"Say no more, today you have to arrange it for me, no way am I letting my business fall through, right?"

As he spoke, Second Master Feng reached into his sleeve and pulled out a silver note, forcing it into the hands of Master Chen, who had been politely declining.

Both sides were old patrons of the opera troupe; Master Chen wanted to earn both sums of silver and didn’t want to offend either.

But the performers couldn’t be split and used for both...

If there ever was a clever businessman, it was Master Chen, who, with a twitch of his eyelid and clap of his hands, instantly had an idea.

Second Master Feng’s affair involved the living, hard to deceive; the Funeral Shop involved the dead, performing funerary operas for ghosts who couldn’t discern quality...

Alright then! Just shuffle the roles a bit, send a dan role as a gesture, and let the big face martial artists fill the rest; this way, neither side would complain.

See there! Isn’t this fooling the dead!

Back then, the Funeral House mediated this deal; Xu Qing was unaware. How could he expect Master Chen to have the audacity to break their longstanding agreement and pull such a stunt!

That evening, the troupe’s caravan arrived fifteen miles south of the city gates, in front of a secluded grove of mulberry trees.

In front of the mulberry grove stood a spacious mansion with a white plaque reading ’Bai Residence’, boasting four courtyards with exits on four sides.

The head of the troupe was puzzled; he had heard of the big families around Linjiang County, but had never heard of Bai Residence.

Before he could ponder further, the doors of Bai Residence swung open, and out came a maid with painted makeup, her cheeks bright red, her skin very fair, saying, "Miss has instructed, only sheng and dan roles are allowed, no martial artists, big faces, or loud drumming. And do not stop until dawn..."

The head of the troupe agreed readily, but only started with two or three performances using dan roles.

After the opening act concluded, only an hour had passed, and the only dan role the troupe brought along already had a sore throat from singing and refused to perform again.

If her voice was ruined, she’d lose her livelihood!

The head of the troupe glanced at the sky. Inside Bai Residence, only ghostly green lights flickered without any human sounds, as if everyone inside was asleep.

"Performing any opera is performing as long as no one slacks off and sings until dawn, isn’t that fine?"

The head of the troupe waved, and the big face actor below quickly grabbed a horse whip, single-handedly dragging a large knife, and ran onto the stage.

With a yell that seemed like a thunderous string’s surprise, even the candles on the stage flickered and dimmed.

Then came the sound of battle drums and booming gongs.

The head of the troupe initially didn’t care, but the next moment, the previously silent Bai Residence erupted with screams, and the lights inside the Bai Residence flickered and went out.

By then, the moon was covered by clouds, all lights extinguished, and the whole Bai Residence, including the stage, was swallowed by darkness. The head of the troupe and the performers were frightened and hurriedly lit candles.

But in front of them, where was there any trace of Bai Residence? It was clearly a lonely grave instead.

In front of the tomb, the epigraph inscribed the deceased’s name and surname; beneath the gravestone were recently burned paper houses and offerings.

It seemed that someone had recently come to pay their respects.

The troupe members looked at each other, not daring to stay, and hurried back to the city that night.

The next day, Xu Qing heard about the incident and confronted Master Chen.

Only then did the troupe members who experienced the night realize that the grave belonged to the Landlord’s daughter, Miss Bai.

Yesterday was Miss Bai’s third death anniversary; the Landlord had specifically asked Xu Qing to perform a funerary opera for his daughter because she loved sheng and dan opera the most when she was alive.

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