b139 /b

    “Are you going to tell her?”

    “There’s a reason I had you here when she was out, remember?”

    He lets out a deep, shuddering breath. I can imagine his relief. “Thank you. I couldn’t take it. Charles is like my brother. I couldn’t… I can’t… If he knew…”

    “I was the one who needed to know. I needed confirmation. All these years, he thought I was the one who did it. And you sat back and let him believe that because it didn’t matter then, right? I’m an asshole, so why not let him believe I would murder his wife to get back at him?”

    A fourth voice chimes in from the doorway. “No. It’s worse than that.”

    Shit.

    My stomach drops at the sound of her voice. I nce down at my dark, silent phone before ncing to the doorway, where Caterina sways slightly, her eyes as big as saucers.

    How the fuck did she get here without me knowing? I was either too engrossed in Ken’s story bto /bnotice the alert when it came through or the app failed.

    Fuck me. Fuck everything. She wasn’t supposed to find out this way.

    “Caterina.” Ken’s chair almost tips over when he stumbles to his feet before lurching toward her. b” /bKiddo, what did you hear? It wasn’t my fault, I swear. I never. I wouldn’t have ever-”

    She cuts off his panicked rant with a sharp p that snaps his head to the side.

    CATERINA

    My hand stings.

    I let it fall back to my side, where it throbs in time with my fast, pounding heartbeat.

    I can barely look him in the eye, so I focus on the palm print I left on his cheek. It stands out redder with every second, while the rest of his face is as white as a sheet.

    “Caterina…” Gianni’s somewhere behind him, though it’s like everything around me is muffled, like I’m underwater.

    “How could you do it?” I don’t feel anything besides the stinging in my hand. There’s no anger, no rage, no grief. I’m cold. Disconnected.

    “I didn’t have a choice.”

    And I used to respect him

    so much. I looked up to him the way Dad did. Now, here he is, crying and shaking, a fucking blubbering mess. I can feel iting. He’s going to start begging for me to forgive him. I don’t know if I can handle that. I really don’t.

    “You didn’t have a choice?” I whisper. “You had no choice but to let him believe he was going crazy? You had no other choice?”

    139

    “Caterina.” Gianni pushes Ken to the side and reaches for me. “You don’t need this added stressb./bb” /b

    Something in the way I look at Gianni makes him back down. I can’t imagine the expression on my face, but whatever it is, it makes his features pinch like he’s pained. “Come, sit down. At least sit, please.”

    I shake him off, though, because sitting is not what need most. What I need is answers and damn good ones. “What’s your excuse for that, huh? All this time, everybody treated him like he was some sad joke. You could have stood by him at the very least.”

    “I did! I was the only friend he had left in the department.” His voice cracks.

    “Some friend,” I snicker. “You let him believe he was making things up since that made it easier for you.”

    “How much did you hear?” Gianni asks.

    “I heard enough. Now I know who the real snake in the grass was this entire time.”

    “You’ve got it all wrong. I did everything possible to get him to walk away from the case.”

    “You gaslit him.” Whatever holds me frozen in ce must loosen, because now I can walk. Each step I take sends Ken scrambling backwards. “You watched him fall apart a little at a time, cracking slowly, pieces of who he was being chipped away. Yet, all along, you knew the truth. You knew he was right, that she was murdered, and you still made it seem to everyone else that he was broken by grief. Like he couldn’t think for himself.”

    “And the autopsy,i” /iRoger interjects. “Are you the one who altered the report?”

    My God. It keeps getting worse.

    “He was looking too deep into things. He was going to get himself killed, so I had to step in.”

    “You hid the truth from him and made him think he was crazy.”

    “You don’t get it. You don’t know how it was. That man would have killed your father the way he did your mother. He would never have let it go if Charles knew somebody had shot her. I did that to protect him. To keep him from walking headfirst into danger-‘

    “Don’t. Stop trying to make yourself the hero.”

    “It’s the truth. And if you think about it, you’ll see I’m right. I convinced him to back off. You would have lost them both if it hadn’t been for me.”

    “You could have told him the truth,” I counter. “If you had been honest about what truly happened, he could have moved on by now. Could have told him it was for my sake, that he needed to back off for me so I wouldn’t lose him, too. But no, why would you do that? That would mean admitting you were a crooked cop. Right?”

    He wants to argue with me. I can see it in the way his eyes dart back and forth like he’s a cornered animal. Only he can’te up with anything to say, because he knows I’m right.

    139

    I see everything now. I see him for the snake he is.

    “You’re a coward,” I whisper as tears fill my eyes. “You took the money and told yourself you were doing the right thing, but all you did was make him joke in the department. Again and again, you told him to let it go, but it meant acting like he was a fool. Like he was crazy. You sacrificed him to protect the image he had of you.”

    “I would have lost my job,” he whispers.

    “Oh, you mean the way he lost his?

    “I never told him to lose his fucking mind over this! Did I encourage him to use department resources to research? To forget all his other work, his caseload, everything else? Every damn day I tried to steer him back on course, and every day he ignored me.”

    “Poor you,” I whisper, shaking my head as the tears fall. “You poor thing. The man was haunted. Everybody told him he was crazy when he was the only one who wanted to know the truth.”

    “You need to calm down.” Gianni wraps an arm around my waist, and even though it isforting, it’s not enough. Nothing will be enough. When I think back on all the years he could have told the truth and helped my dad find a way through it…

    “I’m so disgusted and angry. I don’t even want to look at you.”

    “It would be better if you left, Ken,” Gianni announces.

    “You’re not going to tell him, right? You can’t tell him. He’d never forgive me. Please, Caterina, think. Think about what they will do to him.”

    “Oh! All of a sudden, you care what this will do to him? No, Ken, all you care about is what he’ll think of you when all the lies are revealed. You can’t stand to have him believe anything other than you being the good, honest guy he always thought you were. Funny, you had no mercy for my father when he needed it, but now you’re standing here begging me for mercy.”

    “Please, it would be like losing my brother. You might not understand, but everything I did was for him, and for you.”

    “No!” I bark. “You did it for yourself!! Don’t you dare say you did it for me. You don’t get to rewrite history now that you’ve been caught.”

    “Please. I couldn’t take it.” Throwing his arms out to the sides, he releases a choked cry filled with anguish. “What do I have to do? Do you want me to beg? I’ll get on my knees and beg you. I’ll do whatever you want. All I ask is that you don’t tell him. He can never find out.”

    “Even if it means finally getting closure, that’s what he needs more than anything. He needs to be able to move on with his life. And he can’t do that with the way things are now.”

    “As I said, Ken, you need to go.” Gianni tries to turn me away from Ken, and I know he wants to make this better. He wants to help, but this is something I’m going to have to do myself.

    “Wait a second.” I look up at Gianni. “Do I get to decide?”

    34

    139

    “What do you

    mean?”

    “You invited him over, so I guess this is between the two of you.”

    “You do what you need to do. I was always going to leave it up to you after I broke the news.”

    It’s up to me. I’m not used to hearing that.

    What should I do? How do I handle this? I know what I want to do. I can see myself spitting on him, kicking him, making him feel as small and as hopeless and friendless as my father has felt all this time, yet who would that help? What would it aplish? It wouldn’t make me feel any better in the long run. I would only end up feeling as small and pitiful as Dad has felt.

    “I won’t tell him,” I decide, ignoring the way Ken shudders with relief while his legs sag. “I’ll let you live with that guilt for the rest of your life. What I am going to do is tell him what happened, because he deserves to know the truth.” More than that, he needs it.

    “But you won’t say anything about me?”

    “I won’t. You can live with the gnawing guilt.” Dropping my voice to a whisper, I add, “But if I were you, I would make it a point to stay away from me, because I don’t know if I could hide how I feel about you in front of Dad.”

    “I understand.” He looks to Gianni, who nods, stepping aside.

    “You heard her. Get out of here,” Gianni orders. Ken gives me onest sorrowful look before leaving the room, Roger following close behind him.

    At first, I can’t move. All I can do is stare at the spot where Ken just stood and remember all the times he had the nerve to grieve beside my father. All the times he sat with him, talked with him. The way he wept at my mother’s graveside on the day of the funeral.

    He knew exactly what happened to her. All the time. He held the truth right in the palm of his hands, and he never told us.

    X

    139.1

    b139.1 /b

    “Now, will you please sit down?” I’m barely aware of Gianni guiding me to a seated position on the sofa. I hardly feel the supple leather beneath my hands.

    “Why did you ask him toe here? How much did you know?”

    “It’splicated.”

    That’s not the answer I want to hear. Not after everything we’ve been through, not after discovering the truth.

    “Can you just give me a fucking answer, Gianni!! How much did you already know?”

    “bI /bpromised I would find answers.” I nod, waiting. “Roger finally put it together when he noticed how it seemed like Sebastian recognized Ken the day he and your father came to the house. We dug a little deeper, and Sebastian confirmed Ken took money from his father years ago.

    “Why?”

    ”

    Gianni’s voice is edged with hesitation. “Caterina… Are you sure you want to hear this?”

    “For God’s sake, I’m not a child, and just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m some delicate flower incapable of handling big emotions. Tell me.”

    “Salvatore Costello paid Ken to keep your father out of our business. We were in the middle of working out our first deal at the time. He didn’t want the extraplications. When Charles wouldn’t back down, Sal decided to get rid of him. I waspletely unaware of it, I swear. I didn’t know anything about you, your mother, or any of it. And for what it’s worth, Ken probably did his best. You know how impossible it is to make your father listen.”

    “Okay.” That’s not true at all. I don’t see a damn thing. “How long have you known?”

    “I didn’t want to tell you anything until I knew the whole story.”

    “That’s not an answer, Gianni!”

    “Weeks. I’ve known for weeks. It seemed obvious the autopsy was altered, which then got me asking questions. I didn’t have anything to do with her death–not directly. I was afraid you would me me once you found out.”

    “I’m not stupid. I know you couldn’t have done anything to stop this. And I understand you were trying to protect me.” A sudden sob erupts from my chest before I cover my face with my hands. ” My poor dad. All this time. He trusted Ken. He’s been suffering alone, no one believing him, wondering who he could trust, and the one person he believed in…”

    I can’t do it anymore. My heart is going to break.

    “Come here.” Gianni pulls me closer until I’m in hisp, and resting my head on his shoulder while the tears continue to fall like rain. b“/bbIf /bit helps, I do believe Ken was trying to do what he thought was best. He was afraid of telling Charles the truth. I can understand why. Costello paid him to do a job, and he needed the money. He thought he was helping Charles. I’m not trying to defend him,”

    1391

    +15 bBONUS /b

    he murmurs, rubbing my back, his breath stirring my hair. “However, I can see his side of the story.”

    “He let my father believe it was you who killed my mother all this time.”

    “And I’m sure that would have worked just fine if it hadn’t been for me falling in love with you.”

    “That’s not fair to you.‘

    “You think Charles Cole is the first person who ever hated me? Please. I can handle that. What I can’t handle is knowing how that gets in our way now.‘

    “I have to tell him the truth, somehow, except I don’t have the first idea how to do it.”

    “It’s good that you don’t have to do anything right now. Take your time. Figure out what feels best. You don’t necessarily have to put a time stamp on when you tell him.”

    How tempting, the idea of pretending this never happened. “No. He needs to know he was right. He needs closure. Or else he will spend the rest of his life stuck in one ce. I can’t let that happen. I don’t want to hurt him in the process, though.”

    “I understand.” The touch of his lips to my forehead is sweet,forting. “Although you know, it would be alright to admit this hurts you, too. It’s a betrayal. He betrayed both of you, even if he thought he was doing it for the right reasons.”

    “The viin isn’t supposed to be the person closest to you.”

    “No, but sometimes the people who hurt you the most are the people closest to you, and usually they’re fighting an inevitable battle between right and wrong. Not everything is ck and white. Sometimes you do things to protect the people you care about, even if it’s a decision that would hurt that person if they ever found out. Caring and loving someone makes you do crazy things.

    That’s true, only I don’t think I have a bone of forgiveness inside me. Every time I think about it, all I see is the despair my father went through. He loved his job and lost it. He was so consumed with finding my mother’s killer. And all along, Ken had the information.

    “Whatever you decide to do—even if you never tell your father the truth about what happened- I’m behind you. I’ll support whatever you choose.” Gianni squeezes me tight to his chest, and I snuggle deeper, wanting to escape reality.

    “Thank you, and thank you for keeping your promise. You said you’d find out who killed her, and you did. Hopefully, Dad can move on, and there won’t be so much tension between the two of you.”

    His lips twitch like he wants tough, but lucky for him, he’s smart enough not to. “I won’t expect such a miracle bto /bur.”

    }