CHAPTER 83: CHAPTER 83: THE TRAIL ’STEALTH AND SUBTLETY’.

The morning after our victory over the Gloomfang Caverns, the dungeon was filled with a strange mixture of triumph of victory and pure exhaustion. The team was gathered in the main lobby, basking in the glory of their first win in a way that only they could.

Gilda was slumped in a plush chair, her massive axe resting against the wall, looking like she had just wrestled with a bear and barely won.

Pip and Clank were in a corner, quietly playing a game of ’Stones and Crosses’ on a slate board. Pip, despite his best efforts, was somehow losing to the clockwork robot’s flawless, geometric logic. Pip just sighed, but it was a happy, relaxed sigh. He was losing badly, but he was enjoying the quiet company of his new friend.

Zazu, true to form, was already fast asleep in a nearby cushion pile, his snores have a soft, happy rumble that seemed to mix well to the dungeon’s peaceful atmosphere. It was like a perfect, quiet morning for me.

But, then FaeLina arrived. She was filled with whirlwind of triumphant, managerial energy. She zipped into the center of the room,with a tiny clipboard held in one hand and a piece of chalk in the other, her face a mask of pure, determined focus.

"Okay, victory report filed with the DLRB, check!" she announced to the sleepy room, making a sharp checkmark in the air with her chalk. "Polite ’Thank You for Your Patronage’ note delivered to the King, check! New, slightly more heroic portrait of Sir Crumplebuns commissioned for the lobby to improve our brand’s heroic image, check!"

She took a deep breath, her eyes gleaming with a manic, strategic light.

"I’ve also taken the liberty of filing a preliminary trademark application for the term ’Proactive Pampering’ to prevent inferior copycat dungeons from infringing on our intellectual property!"

The team just stared at her, their peaceful morning completely shattered.

"We can’t rest now, Mochi!" she declared, turning to my core. "We have to take advantage of this momentum!"

’FaeLina,’ I projected, my own core feeling the deep, satisfying hum of the dungeon but also a profound weariness. ’Let them rest. We have two days before the next match.’

"No time for rest!" she declared. "We need to prepare! Our next opponent is the ’Whispering Library,’ and according to my research, they are the complete opposite of the Gloomfang Caverns. They’re not physically dangerous at all."

This piqued the team’s interest. Gilda sat up a little straighter. "Not dangerous? Then what’s the challenge?"

She tapped her clipboard, and a magical image of a vast, beautiful, and eerily silent library appeared in the air.

"Our next match is a ’Stealth and Subtlety’ trial," she explained. "But it’s not a one-on-one match. The Whispering Library is a famous neutral dungeon. The Royal Mages will open portals for all the dungeons in our group—us, the Gloomfang Caverns, and Frank’s Buffet—and we will all send our stealth teams in at the same time."

The team looked at each other, the new information sinking in.

"The goal is simple," FaeLina continued, her voice low and serious. "Each team has to get from the entrance to the exit of the library without being detected by its guardian, the Golem Head Librarian known as ’The Archivist’. The first team to make it through wins. But if you make a sound, the Archivist’s minions—the Book Golems and Shush-Wraiths—will find you, and you’ll be disqualified."

She looked pointedly at Gilda. "And that means no heavy armor. And no giant, clanking axe."

Gilda’s head snapped up, her eyes flashing with indignation. "What?" she grunted. "A warrior without her armor and her weapon is not a warrior. She is just a very large, very slow target. I will not go into a hostile dungeon unprotected."

" "It’s a stealth mission, Gilda!" FaeLina shot back, her voice rising with panic. "Do you know how many noise violations you’ll get just by walking in that armor? We’ll be disqualified before you even reach the first bookshelf! You’re a walking penalty!"

Pip looked absolutely terrified after hearing this. "A library full of Shush-Wraiths and a scary librarian? What if our team gets a late fee? Do we have to pay that?!"

FaeLina began to pace in the air, her mind in strategy mode. "This is a completely different kind of battle. We need a new plan. A silent plan. Any Ideas?"

The team then began to brainstorm, with predictably terrible and unrealistic results.

"We could wrap our own boots in pillows!" Pip suggested nervously. "Pillow-shoes! For maximum stealth!"

"WE COULD CHALLENGE THE LIBRARIAN TO A SILENT, HEROIC STARING CONTEST!" Sir Crumplebuns boomed, completely missing the point of the word "silent."

"We could," Zazu mumbled, waking up from his nap, "just ask him very, very politely to let us pass. Perhaps he’s a reasonable... person?" He blinked, then corrected himself with a weary sigh. "Golem. A reasonable golem."

Gilda grunted. "Or I could just hit him. Very, very quietly."

FaeLina was about to tear her tiny hair out.

’Are you hearing this, Mochi?! This is my team!’ she fretted in my mind, her voice cracking with stress. ’This is who I have to work with! Their entire strategic playbook for a stealth mission consists of pillows, shouting, good manners, and Gilda’s idea of ’quiet violence’! I want to manage a professional tournament team, but what I have is a kindergarten class! We’re going to be disqualified even before the event starts!’

But as I listened to them, to their simple, absurd, and fundamentally cozy ideas, a new, quiet, and wonderfully simple plan began to form in my core. The Whispering Library’s power was its absolute, oppressive silence. It used the fear of making a sound as its primary weapon. But what if... what if we weren’t afraid of the silence at all? What if we were better at it than they were?

’FaeLina, wait,’ I projected, my thought a quiet space in her mental chaos. ’Everyone is going to be trying so hard to be quiet. Tiptoeing, holding their breath... doesn’t that sound exhausting?’

"Of course it’s exhausting! It’s a stealth mission!" she shot back, completely confused. "What’s your point?"

’My point,’ I explained, the perfect, lazy plan finally blooming in my mind, ’is that there is a much easier way to be completely silent than sneaking.’

The entire team, FaeLina included, was now staring at my core, completely baffled.

’Our strategy for the ’Stealth and Subtlety’ trial,’ I declared, ’is to have our team walk into their dungeon, lie down on the floor, and immediately go to sleep. We will forfeit the task.’

FaeLina’s jaw dropped. "FORFEIT?! Mochi, have you lost your mind?! We’ll be disqualified! We’ll lose!"

’FaeLina,’ I projected, my mental voice a calm counterpoint to her panic. ’The goal ours for this event isn’t win a race. The goal here is to make the fewest disturbances. And what is less disturbing than a team of adventurers who are fast asleep?’

_______

Author’s Note:

And Mochi’s new grand strategy is... to forfeit. But in a very clever, strategic way. This is the most Mochi plan ever, and I am so excited to write it.

Do you guys like the idea of the Whispering Library, a dungeon whose main weapon is a very strict librarian. Pip’s fear of getting a late fee is so relatable and one of my favorite little jokes in this Chapter.

How do you win a stealth mission by taking a nap? Mochi is about to bend the rules of the tournament into a Chaos once again and The judges are not going to be happy about this. Thanks for reading!