CHAPTER 191: NOT TOO LATE

No. That’s wrong. It was me who failed.

Gabrant was screaming inside his heart. It had been him who had driven her spirit into a corner. He had been the one who failed as a husband, as a father. He had done nothing. He had understood nothing.

"You never came to me, General," Ashe said softly. "That alone proves my own failure. It was only natural. What I did to you, and to Dominic, was unforgivable. By the time I finally understood, it was already too late. And so... I gave up."

A faint, bitter line deepened at the corners of her mouth. In that moment she suddenly looked her age—no, even older—utterly exhausted.

And then, something fell into place within Gabrant.

He had loved her. That was the truth. It was because he had loved her that he had felt such hatred, such despair. Hatred was only love turned inside out. The stronger his hatred had been, the deeper his love truly was. Even now.

Before he knew it, his mouth was moving on its own and his heart spilling out in words.

"I have burned for you, ever since the first moment I laid eyes on you—when you were still a princess. And that has never changed. I sealed my heart, I tried not to see it, but the love I have for you never faded, Ashe. I know how shameless this sounds. After everything I did, after how I treated you, how can I say this? You have every right to scorn me. But still, I must say it. I beg you... Can we try again? Will you come back to me?"

Ashe turned her head toward him, her emerald eyes wide with shock. In that moment she looked like a startled young girl again.

Gabrant rose to his feet and reached out, wanting to pull her into his arms. But the long years had made him a coward. His hands stopped halfway, trembling in the air between them.

"25 years. 25 years..." Ashe whispered. "What a terrible waste of time..."

As she spoke, her strong eyes began to waver. Slowly, tears began to gathered and spilled out falling one after another down her pale cheeks.

"I was a mother, yet I abandoned Dominic. I threw cruel words at you, and I cast you aside with coldness. I have no right to accept your love again."

"But now you regret those choices," Gabrant said firmly. "That means it is not too late. We can still begin again. Let us try once more, together."

But Ashe shook her head.

"My sins are heavy. I cannot forgive myself. I am not sure I can respond to your feelings again. I have grown used to this life here. There are people who rely on me, people who care for me sincerely. I cannot abandon them again, not for my own selfishness. I cannot return to the capital."

The weight of 25 years was real.

The bonds Ashe had built here could not be denied.

Gabrant understood her hesitation.

But still—this was not a rejection. Perhaps, in her heart, she was still willing to accept him again. The thought brought warmth flooding into the chest that had been frozen and hollow like a corpse for so long.

"You are right," Gabrant said softly. "You have your life here. Then I will wait. Until the day comes when you can live with me again. I have already waited 25 years. I can wait longer. But I ask you—let me visit here, from time to time. Let me see you."

Ashe rose and stood up before him. Her gaze was still stern, her movements and her voice still stiff and formal.

"This is your land, General. You need no permission to come."

Her tone was distant, but Gabrant sensed she was not pushing him away.

"Thank you," he said with quiet relief. "But Ashe, do not make me wait too long. At least before I go to my grave... I want to live with you again."

"...Oh my!"

Ashe’s laughter burst out—bright and ringing. It was the same pure, joyous laugh she had once had, the laughter of the princess she had been long ago.

...

After seeing General Gabrant off for the first time in 25 years, Ashe stood in the entrance hall, stunned and unable to move. It had been so unexpected. That man—coming here, to her, after all this time.

The years that had passed had given him a weight and dignity that could not be denied.

He now stood as a commanding, imposing general, a man who had truly matured. He was the image of masculine strength, seasoned and refined by time.

He must still train every day, Ashe thought, for his body held not a trace of fat, only the firm strength of a man who had honed himself. Perhaps there were more lines between his brows now. His sun-darkened face looked severe—surely, people found him intimidating.

And yet, within his rough, dark-brown hair, Ashe had noticed several strands of white.

The sight had startled her. They had reached that age already—both of them.

Had she been too cold to him?

He had come all this way to see her. He had even told her he still loved her. And yet she... she had answered him with formality and distance.

But how could she not?

She no longer believed she had any right to his kindness.

The way she had treated him, the pain she had caused him, had been far too cruel. It was not something easily forgiven. She could not allow herself to be swept away by feelings, not now. She had to remember her place.

He had stayed barely an hour. Before sunset, he left with his companions to take lodgings in town. She had offered for him to stay the night at the estate, but seeing her formal and distant manner, he had declined.

"I also wish to look over the lands while I am here," he had said.

Perhaps that was true—but Ashe believed it was also the measure of the distance between them.