ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!
Chapter 259: Sand, Spells, and Sudden Forests ( 259 )
CHAPTER 259: SAND, SPELLS, AND SUDDEN FORESTS ( 259 )
They walked across the endless dunes.
But it was no longer scorching.
The desert sun still blazed overhead, but around them, the air shimmered with a cool, misty haze. Hazuki steadily channeled mana through his sword, the blade glimmering with a faint blue tint as Elemental Control: Ice coated the air in a light chill.
With Ridan’s wind magic assisting, the airflow circulated like an invisible dome—cool, gentle, and comfortable.
"...Now this is how you cross a desert," Hazuki muttered, grinning as the breeze ran past his cheeks like a portable air conditioner. "Ahhh... luxury."
He walked in rhythm, loose and relaxed, sword in hand and sweat-free.
Ridan wasn’t floating around this time. He’d wandered ahead just minutes earlier—then suddenly zipped back like a comet and landed squarely on Hazuki’s shoulder, looking like a melting shadow.
"Yikes! It’s hot out there!"
"Yeah, it’s a desert," Hazuki said flatly without looking at him.
Ridan sighed and sank into Hazuki’s shoulder like a cat claiming a spot of shade. "Ahhh... that feels so much better."
"Don’t leech off my ice magic."
"Too late. This is now a joint cooling system."
Hazuki rolled his eyes but didn’t shake him off.
"Oh, look, Ridan! Big desert bird," Hazuki said, pointing ahead.
A large, long-legged creature strolled across a dune in the distance, feathers dusty brown, neck swaying like a slow pendulum.
"That one?" Ridan glanced lazily. "No good. Meat’s tough. Real stringy. Besides, that species doesn’t attack unless provoked. Passive monster."
"Oh." Hazuki squinted at it. "Looks like it’d make good grilled skewers though."
"Only if you enjoy chewing leather for twenty minutes."
"...Pass."
They kept walking.
A few more dunes later, Hazuki pointed again. "Look there, Ridan. That lizard—just like the one that nearly ate me that night."
Crawling along a rock formation to their right was a huge, thick-scaled desert lizard, nearly as long as a carriage, with heat waves warping the air above its back.
"Oh, that one won’t attack anything that’s moving," Ridan said calmly. "They’re ambush predators. They only strike things that stop or look weak. Smart little bastards. They know who to attack and who to leave alone."
Hazuki glanced at it, then at himself.
"...So basically, if I trip or look tired, I’m a snack."
"Exactly."
"Comforting."
"Think of it as natural selection. Keeps your posture good."
Hazuki sighed and picked up the pace slightly, sword still faintly cold in his grip.
"Oh, Ridan! That one looks like a cactus," Hazuki said, pointing ahead with mild excitement.
Nestled beside a dune was a tall, green, spiked creature. It swayed slightly in the breeze, looking for all the world like an innocent desert plant.
Ridan didn’t even look impressed. "That’s not a cactus. In your old world, maybe. But here? That thing’ll spike you dead in seconds."
Hazuki blinked. "Seriously?"
"Yeah. It stabs you, then slowly buries your body under the sand beneath it—uses your corpse as fertilizer. Nasty process. Real slow too."
"...That’s horrifying."
"Welcome to this world."
Hazuki narrowed his eyes at the not-cactus, suddenly stepping further away from it.
Ridan floated with smug calm beside him. "There’s a lot in this world you still need to learn, y’know."
Hazuki grumbled. "Yeah, yeah. And how do you know all this anyway?"
Ridan paused midair, then gave a slow, almost wistful shrug. "Ah... I remember some part of my past memory."
Hazuki glanced at him. "Just like that?"
"Bits and pieces. Comes and goes."
"You sure you’re not just making stuff up to sound cool?"
"Why would I need to sound cool?" Ridan grinned. "I already am."
He walked a few more steps, then pointed ahead. "That stone is big."
"Nope," Ridan said instantly. "That’s not a stone."
Hazuki stopped mid-step.
"It’s called a Desert Ampler—locals call it Betangkup."
Hazuki raised an eyebrow. "...Betangkup?"
"Yeah. Monster that disguises itself as a boulder. The moment you touch it—even slightly—its mouth opens from underneath and it eats you alive. No chewing. Just gulp."
Hazuki took three steps back. "Scary!"
Ridan smirked. "Also—see that thing over there? Looks like a tree, but no leaves?"
Hazuki looked where he pointed. A tall, dried-out trunk-like shape stood crooked near a cluster of rocks, jagged branches reaching upward like withered claws.
"Yeah. Looks dead."
"It’s worse than the cactus one."
Hazuki paled. "...What the hell is wrong with this world?"
Ridan gave a satisfied shrug. "Just part of the charm."
Hazuki muttered, "This place needs a big warning sign at the gate."
"That’s why most adventurer parties who head into deserts like this," Ridan said, "usually prepare and bring a Big Camol."
"Big what now?" Hazuki tilted his head.
"Camol. Local monster variant. Looks like a camel but twice the size. Nasty spit, ugly face, but super useful."
Hazuki raised an eyebrow. "Useful how?"
"They can sense nearby monsters. Even hidden ones like the Betangkup or sand burrowers. They’re natural desert guides. If they refuse to move forward, you listen."
Hazuki whistled low. "So they’re like monster detectors?"
"Exactly. Expensive to rent, though. Only high-level guilds or well-funded merchants can afford them."
Hazuki stared at the endless stretch of dunes ahead. "Huh. So... what kind of quests would make people willingly come here? I mean, seriously, what can you possibly get in a place like this besides sunburn and trauma?"
Ridan floated casually beside him. "Hmm? Lost ruins. Hidden dungeons. Places swallowed by the sand centuries ago."
Hazuki’s brow lifted. "Oh. Those actually exist?"
"Yep. Dangerous, but full of rare loot. High reward, high drop rates."
Hazuki scratched his head. "So basically, gamble your life for lootboxes."
Ridan grinned. "Now you’re getting it."
Hazuki squinted at the horizon, thinking hard.
"...They got Big Camol, right?"
"Yeah. Why?" Ridan floated lazily beside him, curious.
Hazuki tilted his head. "But I got you, Ridan."
Ridan blinked.
"You can talk. You can detect monsters. You float. You can even use magic. Those big camel things can’t."
Ridan’s eyes lit up immediately.
"Heh—so you’re finally recognizing my value, huh?"
Hazuki gave a small shrug. "You’re basically a talking, floating, detection system."
Ridan puffed out his misty chest, glowing faintly. "Then be grateful... and call me Ridan-sama!"
Hazuki rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah... whatever."
As they continued walking, Ridan drifted casually beside Hazuki—keeping his tone light, almost overly talkative.
The wind shifted slightly.
Unseen in the distance, just a few dunes ahead, the air shimmered faintly... the edge of an invisible portal.
But Hazuki didn’t notice.
Because Ridan was already doing what he did best—talking nonstop.
"And over there—see that weird mound stuck to the rock? That’s a Jujiri. Looks like a boulder, but it’s a spider-type monster. Big, fast, nasty."
Hazuki blinked. "That’s a spider!?"
"Well, that’s what you’d call it in your old world. Same structure. Multiple legs. Venom. But Jujiri are smarter. They can sense prey... and decide if it’s worth attacking."
Hazuki stared at the clump. "And?"
Ridan smirked. "With me around, they usually sense a dangerous presence and keep their distance."
"Oh. So I’m safe?"
"For now."
Ridan spun lazily in midair and pointed ahead again. "Oh—and that one? See that tiny thing crawling along the side of that cracked pillar? Looks harmless, right?"
"Looks like a beetle."
"Wrong. That’s an Anitz. About the size of your toe, but just as deadly as the desert ants from your world. Get bit by one? You’ll be foaming at the mouth in ten seconds."
But as he grumbled, he didn’t notice the subtle shift in the air pressure ahead.
The faint shimmer flickering low between the dunes.
Ridan noticed.
And kept talking.
Exactly as planned.
They walked forward, the dunes stretching endlessly as usual.
Step.
A blink.
A breeze.
And suddenly... the sand was gone.
Hazuki took one more step and froze mid-stride, the sensation under his boots different.
The ground was solid.
Dirt. Gravel. Stone.
The air around him had shifted too—no longer dry and blistering, but cool and slightly damp.
A gentle wind rustled the nearby trees.
"...Huh?"
Hazuki blinked.
He turned around.
Behind them, no desert. Just a winding road, forest to both sides, and distant birds chirping like it was any other peaceful afternoon in the countryside.
"...Wait. What?"
Hazuki stepped in a small circle. "Where are we!? How did we suddenly end up in a place like—like—this?!"
He looked at Ridan, pointing a finger at him accusingly. "Oi! What the hell just happened!?"
Ridan floated with a yawn, pretending to stretch his misty limbs. "Ah. Don’t worry about it."
"Don’t worry!? We were in the middle of a desert! This is forest! There’s a tree next to me!! A real one! With leaves!!"
Ridan shrugged casually. "In the desert, there’s a monster species called Jumpers. Sometimes, if they sense danger around someone, they use their spatial displacement reflex to relocate living beings to somewhere safe."
Hazuki narrowed his eyes. "...You’re telling me we got yeeted by a teleporting monster without noticing?"
"Yep. Rare but happens."
Hazuki stared at him, completely unconvinced. "...And they just happened to teleport us to a road?"
"Very considerate species," Ridan added with a straight face. "Almost endangered."
( End Of Chapter )