Konoha: The Thirty-Year-Old Uchiha Can’t Be Bothered
Chapter 291 - 291 – Rejoice! The Birth of the First Bijū Rider!
The Takigakure leader, already torn apart by Kakuzu, naturally couldn't answer his questions. After slaughtering every elder in the village, Kakuzu forced his way into the treasury.
But disappointment met him there. The vault was nearly empty, its wealth gone. Only a single ancient scroll remained, along with a golden, glowing card.
"Damn it! Where did they hide my money?!"
He didn't know the truth—that Takigakure had already drained all its reserves, trading everything, including Kakuzu's own hidden stash, to buy the Seven-Tails from the First Tsuchikage.
"Quick, over there! Kakuzu's inside!"
Bloodied and exhausted, Kakuzu heard approaching footsteps. Knowing he couldn't escape, he strapped the scroll to his waist, then fixed his gaze on the golden card. Some strange instinct compelled him—his trembling hand closed around it.
The card felt icy cold. He hadn't even had time to study it when over a hundred shinobi surrounded him. His chakra was gone, his body weak. Facing his former comrades, Kakuzu could only shake his head bitterly.
Just as he closed his eyes, ready to die—
The card in his hand erupted with blazing energy. A surge of chakra poured into his wasted body, reviving him completely.
"Kill him! Avenge the leader!"
"Damn bastard—his shoddy kunai couldn't kill a rabbit!"
"Whoever captures Kakuzu will be the next leader!"
Eyes gleaming with greed, the Takigakure shinobi closed in.
"Hmph. No one loves Takigakure more than me. You are the traitors."
His cold voice struck like a spark on a powder keg. A storm of ninjutsu rained down.
"Doton: Doryūheki! (Earth Release: Earth Flow Wall!)"
A thick wall rose, blocking the attacks. But Kakuzu was trapped—behind him, only the roaring waterfall.
"So be it. Better to die on my feet!"
With a laugh, he leapt backwards into the falls.
"Chase him!"
"Wait, that's the forbidden zone—"
"The leader's dead. Rules are gone! Catch him, and you're the new chief!"
The lure of power was too strong. Several elite captains dove in after him.
Deep inside the forbidden land, a massive shadow stirred. Chōmei, the Seven-Tails, opened its armored eyes. It had sensed Kakuzu's despair—betrayal, loss, rage. So familiar…
"…He too has been betrayed."
Meanwhile, Kakuzu collapsed, hunger gnawing his stomach. No food, no tools, only the scroll and the strange card.
"Give up, Kakuzu! Surrender now—we may spare you!" his pursuers taunted.
"Fools. I'll never believe you again."
The hunters grew impatient, readying blades to end him quietly. Kakuzu staggered deeper into the forbidden zone.
"Catch him!"
They cornered him quickly. A kunai slammed into his back, but instead of dropping, Kakuzu pulled it free with a grin. The blade was one of his own "refurbished" rejects.
"Ha! Worthless junk—you sold us trash!"
"Hmph. Kakuzu quality: no refunds." Even at death's door, he tucked the kunai away carefully.
But outnumbered, his body failing, Kakuzu finally collapsed under their blades.
"Die!"
The swords fell—
"ROOOOAR!!!"
The night shook as Chōmei bellowed. The attackers froze in terror, blades halted inches from Kakuzu's chest.
"The Beast!"
A colossal shadow blotted out the moon. Their courage shattered. Screaming, the Takigakure shinobi fled in every direction.
Only one thought remained—run, or be eaten.
Moments later, the waterfall exploded. Chōmei burst free into the sky, water cascading around its massive body.
"Look—on its back! It's Kakuzu!"
They could hardly believe their eyes. The rogue lay unconscious, carried away into the night by the Seven-Tails.
High atop a cliff, Kakuzu awoke, clutching the golden card. "Great Beast… why are you inside this card?"
"Too many questions, human," Chōmei's voice rumbled in his mind.
It too was baffled. Drawn by the strange aura of the card, it had touched it—and instantly been sucked inside by its sealing power.
"Damn… this is that man's doing," Chōmei growled. Only a descendant of Indra, who had once wielded the Sage's treasures, could have crafted such a trap.
"Great Beast… what should we do now?" Kakuzu asked, peering down the deadly cliff.
"…Fly," Chōmei said flatly.
"But… I don't have wings like you."
Despair settled again. He slumped on the edge.
"Didn't expect you to be the first."
A lazy voice suddenly spoke behind him. Kakuzu spun, heart pounding. A figure sat atop a boulder, armored, legs crossed, amusement thick in his tone.
"Who are you?!"
Clutching the card behind him, Kakuzu glared.
"Seven-Tails… this is your chosen one?"
It was Uchiha Gin, transformed once more through Wanyang's power. He smirked, reciting a line with relish:
"I'm just a passing Kamen Rider."
Kakuzu blinked. He had never heard the title. His wariness only deepened.
"You look dangerous," Gin chuckled, flashing a golden card between his fingers.
"My card!!"
Kakuzu's heart sank—he hadn't even noticed Gin take it.
"Relax. Just checking."
Gin sent his chakra inside, chatting casually with the furious Chōmei.
"You again!" the bijū roared inside the card.
"Nice little space here, huh? Spacious, cozy. You'll get used to it," Gin said breezily.
The card wasn't simple. Forged with fragments of the Kohaku no Jōhei (Amber Purifying Pot) and infused with bijū chakra, layered with Four Symbols Seals. If a beast was defeated, the card would forcibly contain it. But if the bijū resonated with its human holder… it could voluntarily enter—but then the human couldn't use its power unless granted.
"…What do you want, Gin?" Chōmei growled.
"Nothing serious. Just… a game."
"A game?"
"Nine Riders. Each bijū chooses one. Didn't you lose last time? Don't you want revenge?" Gin teased.
Chōmei trembled with fury at the memory of losing to the turtle, the Sanbi—and of betrayal by the Kyūbi. This was a chance for payback.
"…Fine. But first, answer me: who are you really? Why do you carry both the Sage's aura, and his lecherous brother's?"
Gin chuckled. "Win the game, and I'll tell you. Keep it secret."
In the real world, only a heartbeat had passed.
"Give the Beast back!"
Kakuzu lunged, fist swinging—
SLAP!
Gin casually backhanded him into the dirt.
"Damn you!" Kakuzu snarled, coughing blood, hands flashing through seals. But Gin only flicked the card back to him.
"Cough—!" Kakuzu swallowed his fire technique in shock, choking as he caught the card.
"And this too."
Gin tossed him a gray device. Confused, Kakuzu stared at it.
"Don't die, kid. I'm rooting for you," Gin's voice drifted as his form vanished.
"…Great Beast!" Kakuzu cried, gripping the card.
"You don't need to shout. I can hear you just fine," Chōmei muttered from inside, its cold eyes now burning with renewed battle spirit.
"Human. Your name?"
"…Kakuzu."
"What is your dream?"
"Dream? For now—just to live. And to take revenge on those who betrayed me!"
And my money. I'll get my money back.
"Then… transform."
"Transform?" Kakuzu blinked.
"That device Gin gave you is a belt. Attach it. Insert me."
"…Really? Insert?"
"Shut up and do it!"
Awkwardly, Kakuzu strapped on the belt, slid the card into its slot—
"Chōmei! Nanabi Chōmei! The Invincible Beetle!"
Electronic chimes blared. Chōmei inside cringed with shame. Too embarrassing… can't this thing be muted?
But Kakuzu didn't care. Blood raced, heat surged. His eyes sharpened.
"Henshin!!"
"TURN UP!!"
In the Shadow Realm
Clap clap clap clap!
Gin sat watching, grinning from ear to ear.
"Perfect! The first Bijū Rider, born at last!"
Outside, Kakuzu stood transformed—his body clad in silver-white armor, beetle horn gleaming, a short blade at his waist.
Gin chuckled, eyes shining with mischief.
"I thought you'd go full red with a one-finger-to-the-sky pose… but no, turns out you're just another tragic salaryman."
(End of Chapter)
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