ERINE

    Everything in life now was always something new for me. Yeah, I just move in to my mother''s place with my son who is still in high school. We decided to have a fresh new start since my mother was only one living alone in her house.

    My life was not easy being a single mother who raised a son since birth. His father was my first love, first kiss and first in everything. It was not easy at first since we were not teenager at that time when we first met introduced by a common friend.

    I worked as a contract worker in a foreign land when I was in my 20''s. It was my first time away from my country and family. Although, at that time I just wanted to be independent and have confident. It was not easy working alone without your family and friends but it good points you gain new friends. It may not be always true to your face but still you will find some true friends when you went back to your own country.

    Struggles were not that easy adjusting things, people and languages but those years I had to learn to adapt everything. It was lonely at first but later on having friends to encourage you, you will learn to survive your everyday routine until I met him. Yes, when I met the father of my son. It was kind of not totally into him but I think looking back I was just a little na?ve because I wanted to experience having someone or I was just I do not know what I was feeling at that time.

    However, I did love him. If I do not love him, how can I give my V card to that person and have his child? Our relationship was not somewhat deep we had the right love at the wrong time kind of thing. I am thankful that I have a bundle of joy with me, my son.

    It was five years ago that his father stops sending money support and even emotional attachment to our son. I wished I could demand for my son''s financial support but I guess I am just too kind to let it go. I wanted to demand but thinking that I know he is now having his own family.

    I have my own pride not to beg if he is not willing to be a part of my son''s life. If he does, he will find time to reach him however, he did not.  We were lucky enough that my parents were the one supporting some of our needs.

    I know my son has a good heart and knows to understand the situation we had with his father but deep in my heart, I know being his mother I can feel him. I can feel he was hurting but refused to tell me even if I talk to him. He changed quite a little bit after the break up. He changed but I know he should move on.

    I move on after the final separation because in the end we cannot go back to what we used to be. It was not easy for me too but I should face the reality that our relationship was already period. I should put it period not question mark or exclamation point or comma but definitely a period.

    It would not turn back the time but move forward to my future and focus my present. Why? Because it is not just me now there is my son involve who needs love and attention no matter what. He is my love, my life and everything. My son is important to me than anything else.