CHAPTER 95: CHAPTER 95; I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

"Do you feel it now?" she cried, tears spilling freely. "It’s just a taste of what I go through every single night when I’m away from you!"

His breath came in ragged bursts. His usually unshakable calm was cracking, splintering like glass beneath pressure.

"I didn’t know...." he choked out. "I didn’t want...."

"No, you didn’t want to care!" she screamed. "As long as I was alive and obedient and tucked out of your perfect little world, it didn’t matter if I was in pain. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t sleep, or eat, or walk some days without collapsing. But now... now you feel it."

She took a step closer. "And this is nothing, Shen Xiao. This is a paper cut compared to what I have lived with for years."

He looked at her bleeding arm, then into her eyes, which were wild, broken, and defiant.

"You have made your point," he said tightly, jaw clenched. "Enough."

"No," she said, lifting the blade again. "Not until I know you feel what it’s like to be bound to someone who only ever looks at you with regret."

"Bai Zhi!" His voice cracked with urgency now. He crossed the space between them and grabbed her wrist, the blade still trembling in her grasp.

Their eyes locked, hers stormy with anguish, his flooded with something between fury and panic.

"I never looked at you with regret," he said hoarsely. "Only guilt."

She stared at him, trembling.

He held her bleeding wrist tighter. "So if you want to die... then you will have to kill both of us. Because I won’t let you go alone."

Shen Xiao sank to the floor with her, the blade clattering to the side and forgotten. He cradled her trembling form in his arms, pulling her close to his chest as she pressed her bleeding wrist against her coat.

"Don’t, don’t touch me," she whispered hoarsely, but she didn’t pull away.

"I have to," he murmured against her hair. "Because if I don’t, you will vanish right in front of me."

The warmth of her blood was seeping through his shirt, and still, he held her tighter. Her tears soaked through the fabric, but she stayed quiet, save for the small, broken gasps she tried to silence against his shoulder.

Outside the study room, the halls remained quiet. No one would question her presence, not the guards, not the servants. She often came here, and Shen Xiao, who was always private, had made it clear no one was to disturb him when the study door was closed.

But even in this moment, when her pain was raw and his body echoed with her self-inflicted wound, he kept his voice low.

They couldn’t afford to be seen this way, entangled, vulnerable, almost....

He brushed her hair back gently, his lips hovering near her temple, not quite touching. "Next time you want me to feel something," he whispered, "just say the word. Don’t bleed for me again."

She didn’t respond. Her breathing was still unsteady, but her fingers, almost unconsciously, had curled into his sleeve like she didn’t want to let go.

FLASHBACK; 12 YEARS AGO

(Earlier That Night.... Before Everything Fell Apart)

The highway stretched out like a ribbon of possibility, endless and dark, lit only by the faint golden glow of the dashboard and the fleeting lights of passing street lamps.

Bai Zhi curled up in the passenger seat, her legs tucked beneath her, head leaning against the window as soft music played from the car speakers.

Shen Xiao had one hand on the wheel, the other gently laced with hers across the center console. His thumb traced idle circles along her knuckles.

"Once the business is stable," he murmured, "I will give you the biggest wedding the city’s ever seen... I promise you... I will make sure you become the envy of everyone."

She slowly turned her head toward him, her lips lifting into a smile that reached her eyes. "Biggest isn’t necessary. I just want you to mean it, I just want you beside me."

He glanced at her, something like awe flickering in his eyes, but he knew Bai Zhi was the simplest and kindest girl he had ever come across. "I already do. I mean everything when it comes to you. Just believe in me, I’m capable of achieving all that!"

The rain hadn’t started yet. The world was still quiet.

They had the illusion of time enjoying that peaceful moment together.

"I want it all," she whispered, squeezing his hand, "I wanna hear your vows, the rings and you walking towards me down that aisle like I’m your whole world. Like, without my existence, you aren’t Shen Xiao."

"You are my whole world, I swear that, never doubt it!"

She blushed, but didn’t turn away. "You’d better not leave me standing in some church in white with mascara down my face. I don’t know if I will ever forgive you!"

Shen Xiao chuckled, soft and deep. "If I ever ran from you, Bai Zhi, the sky would crack open and swallow me whole to quench your anger!"

"You are so dramatic."

"When it comes to you."

He pulled into the slower lane, stealing a glance at her again, you could tell they were deeply in love. "I want to build a life with you, Zhi Zhi. Once everything’s out of the red, and we are safe, I will take you somewhere warm. Just a quiet place, somewhere people don’t know our names. We will have a garden and, maybe, several kids running around."

She rested her head against his shoulder. "Do you really mean it?"

"I’d die for you."

She went still, looking at him, and wondered if he really meant it.

He looked down at her. "Do you think it’s too much for you to handle?"

"No," she said softly. "Just... don’t ever make me live in a world where you are not around. That would definitely break me..."

They sat in....