CHAPTER 167: LOSE MY MIND

As they finished the last of their coffee, Leia leaned forward and reached for his mug. "You can stay here. I’ll be back soon," she said softly, rising to her feet.

Before she could take a step, Lucien’s hand closed gently around her wrist. He stood with her, plucking both mugs from her hands and setting them back on the table.

"The servants are here for such things," he murmured, closing the gap between them. His gaze lingered on her mouth, then lifted slowly to her eyes, trapping her in place.

Leia swallowed. "What do you want, Lucien?" she asked, though her voice betrayed the fluttering in her chest.

"Perhaps this," he replied.

Before she could draw another breath, his lips brushed against hers. He nibbled gently at her lower lip, his hands sliding down to her waist and drawing her closer. Her eyes fluttered shut as she melted into the kiss, the quiet of the garden wrapping around them, broken only by the soft chorus of birdsong.

They pulled apart for the briefest moment, breaths mingling.

"Lucien..." Leia whispered, her fingertips ghosting over his lips, still warm from their kiss. But he caught her hand in his, lowering it to her side as his gaze held hers.

Then, in a swift motion, Lucien drew her closer, and the next second they were in his room. His lips crashed against hers with a hunger, stealing the very breath from her lungs. His fingers slid up to the curve of her neck, cradling it with surprising gentleness even as his kiss grew more demanding.

Breaking away, his lips trailed to the delicate slope of her throat. He pressed a firm kiss against the hollow just below her jaw, where her pulse raced beneath the skin. A shiver ran through her as her damp strands of hair slipped through his fingertips, tangling softly between them.

Leia’s breath hitched when his teeth grazed her skin, the faint sting sparking something deep inside her. Still, she didn’t stop him. She didn’t push him away. Lucien’s eyes glimmered a dangerous shade of red, his wolf rumbling low in his chest.

Step by step, they moved toward the bed until the weight of their desire toppled them onto the mattress. Leia landed with her back pressed against it, gasping as the heat of the moment consumed her. Her toes curled, anticipation coiling tight within her chest.

Then, Lucien’s hand slid beneath the hem of her top, lifting it upward. The speed of it all left Leia trembling on edge, her body caught between surrender and also the uncertainty.

Just as the moment threatened to spiral out of control, Lucien stopped. His hand slid up, fingers tracing lightly over the scar etched across her stomach.

Leia’s breath caught. She propped herself on her elbows, her eyes flicking down to where his fingers lingered. "Doesn’t it look... ugly?" she whispered, her voice laced with insecurity.

Lucien’s brows furrowed, a faint crease forming between them. "Hey," he frowned. "Don’t ever say that."

She looked away, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "It never happened to me before," she admitted softly. "Being injured like that... this scar just makes me feel... less. Like it’s a mark I can’t hide, a reminder that I wasn’t strong enough."

Without a word, Lucien leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss against the scar. The warmth of his lips against the once-broken flesh made Leia’s chest tighten. Slowly, he lifted his gaze back to hers, his eyes locking with such intensity that she forgot to blink, forget even to breathe.

His tongue then trailed along the scar, and Leia gasped, her fingers curling against the sheets. "Lucien, don’t do that," she whispered, her voice trembling between protest and surrender.

He pressed another soft kiss there before moving upward, his mouth leaving a heated trail along her skin while his other hand slipped beneath her top, easing it away. In one swift motion, she was on the mattress again, his palm cupping her breast through the thin lace.

"Lucien, I think we should stop," Leia breathed, her chest rising rapidly. His tongue brushed over her collarbone, lingering, but at her words, he froze.

"Why?" His voice was rough while his breath hot against her skin. "Don’t you like it?"

"I like it—" she confessed, her eyes meeting his with honesty, "so much that I don’t think I’ll have control over myself."

"Fuck," Lucien cursed.

"Then don’t stop me. We desire each other, mate. That’s perfectly normal. How long are you going to push me away?" His voice wavered, and for a brief moment, his eyes clouded with doubt.

Leia cupped his face in her hands, her thumbs brushing over his ears, stirring him further. "You didn’t hear me clearly," she said softly, her gaze steady. "I spoke to Kieran last night. I want to give my first time to him."

Lucien’s face color drained. He was deeply hurt. He stood slowly, retrieving her top and helping her slip into it. "Fine," he said with a taut tone. "You should go to your room."

"Lucien... you’re upset," Leia said, concern threading through her voice.

He ran a hand over the back of his head, distancing himself slightly. "Then what do you want me to say?" he admitted, his voice cracking despite his efforts to sound composed. "I’m not jealous... I’m just... disappointed that I failed to secure a place in your heart."

Leia’s brow furrowed, searching his face.

He hesitated, the conflict evident in his stance, then finally let out a shaky breath. "You... you’re just talking to Kieran, Ronan, figuring out for yourself who will share your first time. And I... I can’t help it. I’m confused, frustrated. I love you, Leia. I want you, but I also want what’s right for you. And yet, I can’t stop feeling like I’m failing."

Leia softened, her hand brushing against his arm. "I’m confused too. I love all three of you: Kieran, Ronan, and you. I’m trying to make this decision based on my instincts alone. That’s why I need clarity first. Why does that have to make you upset?"

Lucien looked down, the fire of his wolf subdued but still simmering beneath his chest. "Because... I can’t stand the thought of someone else being the first even if it’s my brother," he admitted quietly, voice heavy with both honesty and restraint.

"And what did you say?" Lucien’s eyes locked onto hers, intensity burning in his gaze. "You... you love me?" He jabbed a finger at his chest, as if trying to physically contain the weight of her words.

"Yes," Leia admitted, her voice trembling but unwavering. "I love you." Just yesterday, she had been telling Kieran that she would tease Lucien and hide her feelings, but now, she couldn’t keep them inside any longer.

"If you love me, then why do you stop me every single time... every single fucking time I’m with you?" Lucien’s voice rose with frustration, shaking his head as his emotions boiled over. "Gosh! I don’t want to lose my mind!" And before she could respond, he disappeared from her sight, leaving an emptiness in the room.

Leia sank onto the mattress, her fingers tugging at the edge of the blanket as her mind whirled. "How am I supposed to handle... three mates?" she murmured to herself. "If I give my all to one, the others get hurt... and I can’t... I just can’t decide."

The weight of her love, desire, and responsibility left her feeling trapped between heart and instinct, longing and guilt.

Meanwhile, Lucien stood at the edge of a cliff that jutted out from the heart of the forest. The wind whipped around him, tugging at his hair and clothes, while far below, the river roared and splashed against jagged rocks. The wildness of the landscape mirrored the turmoil in his chest.

He lowered himself onto a massive rock. "I can assert dominance," he murmured. I’m an Alpha... I could do it. But I don’t want to. I can’t. Not with Leia. Not with my brothers."

’Lucien, as much as you want to mate with her, I want her wolf too. But that doesn’t mean we should leave her confused,’ Theron, his wolf, rumbled in his mind.

Lucien clenched his fists. ’She’s the one who confuses me. And she confessed her feelings so suddenly, so randomly. If I had asked whether I could mark her, she would have refused. I... I don’t even know if she truly loves me.’

’She does. Leia loves you. Her wolf loves me. You should communicate with your brothers regarding who will claim Leia first. When you three are going to share a mate, then you three have to communicate well,’ Theron advised him.

Lucien now turned quiet. He didn’t want to argue on this with Theron. Yes, if would communicate with them, Kieran would definitely start making him count how bad he was to Leia. He just clasped his fingers and looked at the distant to steady his thoughts.