CHAPTER 31: EVELYN: THE COMFORT I’M AFRAID TO LOSE

Evelyn~

"But I have to say, I’m really surprised you could run this fast," my wolf said. "You even managed to outrun Rael. I thought that was completely impossible."

I even thought it was impossible. Honestly, this was only the second time I had ever run this fast.

The first time was when my father told me to run from our village to save myself from a rogue werewolf attack.

I guess ... Rael’s pack reminded me so much of those wild rogues that I somehow found my hidden strength again.

"Maybe you were just too lazy to move before," she added dryly. "I mean, you’ve literally let yourself be burned alive more than once."

I couldn’t even argue with that because she had a point.

Then suddenly, I wondered ... what exactly made me want to run this time?

I usually just froze and let things happen. So why now?

Was it really because I was scared of being tortured by them? Or was it because they reminded me too much of the rogues from my past?

I came to a sudden halt, realizing I didn’t even know why I was doing this.

What exactly am I running from?

"Have you ever thought that maybe this has nothing to do with fear?" my wolf asked.

What was she trying to say?

Fear was the only thing I could think of. I was terrified of being burned again.

"Silly," she mocked softly, though her voice held a surprising tenderness. "You’ve been living comfortably these past few weeks, and now you’re afraid of losing that comfort and feeling pain again."

She continued, "You’re starting to believe you deserve kindness. That you deserve to be treated well."

Those words hit me so hard, I didn’t even know how to argue back.

Footsteps were getting closer behind me, but my body was frozen in place.

"That’s ... ridiculous," I whispered. "Kindness never lasts. I shouldn’t get attached to it."

"There’s nothing wrong with hoping for something good, Evelyn," my wolf replied gently.

"You don’t understand," I murmured, lowering my head. "They’ll leave me eventually. Everyone does once they get bored of me."

I mean, I’m not that interesting.

Sometimes I wonder if the only thing I can offer my mates is ... well, sex.

"Evelyn!" Rael’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

I turned just in time to see a group of werewolves rushing into the forest, their torches glowing like angry fireflies. The flames lit up the trees with an eerie, terrifying light.

Were they really going to burn me alive if they couldn’t drag me back to the stake?

"Oh, come on! Don’t be so negative all the time!" my wolf protested in frustration.

If stopping my thoughts was as easy as kicking a pebble, I’d have done it a long time ago.

But shutting down the voices in my head was more like trying to stop the sun from rising.

In other words, it was impossible.

Without thinking twice, I started running again as fast as I could, until they couldn’t catch up to me anymore.

"Why won’t they just give up already?!" I shouted to my wolf.

"First of all, you’re their Alpha’s Luna!" she snapped, sounding like she wanted to slap me but was holding back. "Secondly, who in their right mind would burn the one person who might actually help their Alpha get his true power?!"

Huh.

That made sense. Why didn’t I think of that?

"Because your head’s always full of negative thoughts!" she screamed in my head. "You don’t even give yourself a chance to breathe and—"

I wasn’t really paying attention to her voice anymore, because right then, my foot landed on something weird.

Crack!

Before I could even react, the ground beneath me gave way. One second I was running, and the next, I was falling straight into a pit that had only been carelessly covered with thin branches and leaves.

The fall wasn’t short either, maybe around three meters deep. Just deep enough to make sure anything that fell in wouldn’t be able to climb back out easily.

But that wasn’t the worst part. No, what waited at the bottom was far more terrifying than just a fall.

CRASH!

My body slammed into something sharp and solid. Pain exploded through my back, and before I could even process it, sharp wooden stakes pierced straight through me, impaling me all the way to my chest.

Damn it.

Looks like I’d fallen into a tiger trap.

Why is it that every time I meet one of my mates, I end up on the verge of death?

Well ... maybe not exactly on the verge of death, since technically, I can’t die.

However, the people around me don’t know that.

Every time they see me come back from the dead, they always react the same way.

Some of them feel relieved, sure, but most of them? They would throw torches at me, like I’m some kind of cursed creature.

Theron had the first kind of reaction.

He looked like he was about to cry and fight the entire world just to keep me alive.

But with Rael ... I wasn’t so sure.

He seemed like the type of man who was hard to read.

Would he rush over and cradle me like I was the most precious thing in the world? Or would he just tilt his head, smirk, and say something like, "You’re a monster. That’s kind of hot."

Honestly, I couldn’t tell.

"But aren’t all those reactions you’re imagining ... kind of positive?" my wolf asked, sounding curious.

I lay there—well, more like I couldn’t move—staring up at the full moon, which for some reason looked even brighter than usual.

"You’re right," I whispered. "I don’t really have any bad thoughts about him."

It was strange, but at the same time, a little comforting.

Maybe I wasn’t completely broken inside if I could still think about someone without assuming the worst.

"EVELYN! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

I flinched when I heard Rael’s thunderous voice.

He still sounded pretty far away, but somehow, his voice cut straight through the thick forest.

But it wasn’t the volume of his voice that caught my attention, it was what I heard behind it.

He sounded panicked, and ... worried.