CHAPTER 151: GODDESS CHOSEN MATE [PART 1]

• DREVON •

Torture.

It had been pure torture for days, my own mind eating away at me until there was nothing left to gnaw on.

I couldn’t bear to see her because I failed her. I couldn’t protect her from Damon, not while he held significance in her life.

It killed me that there was nothing more I could do except live with the fact that Damon will always be there, in more ways than I feared. When I witnessed the scene of him feeding her blood, it ruined me.

What destroyed me more was the look of pain and regret in the eyes. It wasn’t her fault; it was mine. She hated herself, and I never wanted that for her.

I failed her.

So I let her walk away even when my hand moved to take hers, but I didn’t act on time. I left her alone, tormenting myself with my failures. I was her husband, what kind of husband would I be if I could not shield her from anything that may harm her? If I cannot be there when she’s in pieces or trying to grasp a nature she never asked for?

All I could do was just stand there like a statue and see her break, watch her leave. I’m a fucking failure. I’m a fucking failure of a husband, man, and mate.

Mate. I chose her, and yet it didn’t change a thing. I was losing her, and I was losing a piece of myself, too.

But when I felt her finger trying to reach for mine in that hall, I felt hope again, and I didn’t hesitate to take her small hands into mine. She was shaken and cold. I rued not staying by her side.

I was ready to leave this all behind if the Fates came and did their business, and I mentally begged for her hold on just a little longer.

But the coming of the Fates wasn’t anything I expected. Everything went in a different direction than I could follow.

Eloise wasn’t just the mate I chose. The goddess chose her for me. This practice was something that was rumored to happen in ancient times, before we began choosing mates ourselves.

I paced, growing frenzied by the second, but it didn’t amount to the throb on my neck. Eloise’s mark. It had been silent for a long time, and I thought there was no meaning to it. I worried there was no meaning, but now my entire body was screaming at me to go to her.

What the Fates did caused a chain of events, an uproar louder than the day I was made monarch without the choosing ceremony.

Everything had changed, for the best or worse?

I halted, pulse racing, and in a heartbeat, I walked to the door, no longer able to bear the thought of being apart from her.

I yanked the door open and found Eloise. I released a low breath as I roamed her from head to toe.

She was here. Dressed simply in her robe, hair down, and eyes frantic, clawing with yearning like the force of a mountain. It intertwined with mine, and all we could do in the passing second was devour each other with our shaken gaze.

"Would you have let me marry Damon?" she asked out of the blue, breathing heavily like she had run just to get here. To get to me.

"Never," I muttered, trying to remain still and keep my hands to myself.

My entire existence ached to feel her skin beneath my fingertips. I have never known such yearning until now; it was killing me from the inside out, and I almost threw all reasoning out the window.

But I remained sane, knowing she hadn’t let me in...yet.

"Do you hate me?" she asked.

"No," I replied in a ragged whisper.

She inhaled and exhaled sharply, shoulders tense and her eyes glassy, as if tears were coming, and I wanted to kiss them away.

"D-Do you still love me?"

A smile curled on my lips, my eyes softening as I took a step closer. I didn’t reply, but my fervor to steal the space away from us and my solemn eyes spoke more than any words I had uttered since she came.

But I still need to tell her with words, and this time I’ll not wait as I bleed my heart to her. "I—"

Eloise covered my mouth with her hands, eyebrow furrowed, and head giving a slow shake.

"I don’t deserve to hear it," she uttered heavily, before adding in a pleading whisper. "Please don’t say it."

I slowly wrapped my hands around her wrist and freed my lips, but I didn’t release her. I couldn’t. My grip instinctively tightened, but I was mindful not to hurt her.

Eloise didn’t say a word to me, and neither did I, just gazes locked as if waiting for who would make the move.

I debated doing it, but I wanted her to have the reins.

It’s been hellish days, and our relationship was strained heavily to the point we both fought internally, but I had made my peace, I’m making my peace. Eloise had to, too. That was the only way we could mend the wounds.

This was bigger than us now, because everything we feared turned out to be a stepping stone to a much bigger truth.

Will she still have me? Will she still choose me? Will she still want to stay by my side?

Eloise eyes leveled, stopping the contest of stares. "I-I should retire for the night, it’s late."

"Of course," I muttered, releasing her wrist.

She lifted her gaze, opening her mouth to say something, but the words just hung.

"I’ll see you tomorrow," she said, taking a step back, before hurrying out of the corridor.

I ran a hand through my hair and leaned against the cold wall. The back of my head pressed into it as my hand fell on my face.