"So, you've got kitty claws and regeneration? Well, la-di-da, kitchen work just got real exciting... Or messy. Depends on your hobbies." Marshall shared his roasted deer with the two kids he found in his Mammoth sanctuary. "Met a guy like you once, big and tough, but still had that kitty edge. Thought he'd rule the world. Didn't last. Guess nine lives don't mean shit after a while."

The boy and the girl listen to the wild-looking man ramble nonstop while eating the deer meat. They stared at each other's faces occasionally, silently asking each other what to do.

"What are your names?"

"Logan."

"Rose."

"Oh!" Marshall hummed, feeling that name rang a bell. But he couldn't fully remember what. "Lemme guess. You ditched some hellish farm life? Classic move these days. Both of you mutants?"

"What's that?" Logan asked.

"Kitty claws. Both got them?"

"Only I do." Logan clarified.

Marshall hummed and took a big bite of the meat. "Hot damn, this is prime! Marty'd pawn my balls for a taste. Anyway, I'm the First Man, yeah, that god. This land's mine, these Mammoths are my chickens. Been saving them from humans for so long. You can't live here."

"We'll leave, Mister." Rose voiced.

"To where? South? It's all junk down there. West? That place's gonna turn to shit too. Hmm… Are you two morons?"

"..."

"What?!" Rose frowned.

"Are you two learned? You know, reading and stuff."

Rose was the first to nod. Logan just growled, clearly not the biggest fan of books and studying.

"Not morons then. Fantastic! Tag along, then. Still dumber than Dinosians on a bad day, but hey, mutant blood gets you a pass. And you, missy, homework's your new religion," Marshall declared, not asking, just telling them. "Let's move."

Woosh!

Marshall uprooted a few trees and made a raft for himself right then and there. He didn't even move, just used telekinesis to do it. He had gotten so good at it that even he was proud of himself.

"Hop on."

Logan and Rose looked at each other's faces.

Of course, they knew who the First Man was. They weren't religious, but they had read the bible.

In the end, considering that the man was an actual god, they trusted a man for the last time.

Last, because they would never need to seek any other again.

####

"Wraaaaaaaar!"

"Wraaaaaaar!"

When Marshall arrived back in Dinosia, he found Marty alone on his temple's terrace. The T-rex was roaring towards the sky for some reason. He was so loud that all of Dinosia could hear him. Those nearby felt the vibrations.

"The fuck are you doing, boy?" Marshall landed there with the two kids. "Scaring the sun away? Don't tell me your brain finally got fried."

"Grufff Grrr~"

"What!?" Marshall exclaimed at Marty's explanation. "Hela's pregnant? W—How? Holy fucking Odin's eye! Shit!"

Quickly, Marshall looked down at his loins and shamelessly grabbed his own balls.

"Holy testicle tacos, it works! My cockjuice works! Fuck, I thought it'd all dried up and rotten after so long. This is huge, Marty! You're getting a sibling! My junk still functions! Yes! My wang ain't retired!—Thank you, sweet baby Jesus!"

"..."

One would think that an unplanned pregnancy would scare a man. And they would be right.

But to a man as old as a hundred million years, the unplanned pregnancy was a gift. Something out of the ordinary. A joy that went beyond just fatherhood.

"Wait!" Marshall's eyes abruptly turned furious. "You said some Asgardian bimbo took Hela? Who the hell was it? Who dares kidnap my towering goth sex bomb, my murder queen, my death mommy?!"

"..."

At that point, Logan and Rose started questioning if their decision to be there was right.

"Heimdall! You golden-eyed Google search! Open the sparkle tunnel and let me in! Or I swear, I'll burn the entire fucking Asgard down!"

Shhhh~

In an instant, the sky started to react. Heimdall had to do it since Marshall and Odin had made a pact, granting him unlimited access to Asgard and Asgardian brew. All for taking care of Hela. And he sure did take care of her well, so much that now the woman had a baby in her deadly womb.

"Marty! Come here!"

Quickly, the two stood close to each other and let the rainbow light fall on top of them. And just before they disappeared, Marshall eyed Logan and Rose.

"Find the temple staff and tell them your name, flash your mutant card, and say I dragged you in. They'll treat you like mutant royalty."

Wooosh!

With that, Marshall was gone.

Rose O'Hara gulped and grabbed Logan's hand. "D-Did we make a mistake by coming here?"

"Bastard's insane," Logan murmured. "But ain't evil… I guess."

####

Marshall was furious.

If Odin had taken Hela on any other day, he wouldn't have minded. But now, that woman was his. Well, the baby in her, at least. A man so bored, he was ready to change diapers to kill his boredom.

"Marty, when we land there, roar like crazy," Marshall ordered while seated atop Marty's head. "Odin kidnapped my kid."

Woooosh!

With a flash, the teleportation ended. Marty felt a hard surface underneath, though his vision was still blurred.

"WRAAAAAAA!" Marty roared anyway.

Pop! Pop!

Marshall was prepared to jump into action and save Hela from her daddy, against him breeding his daughter. The classical fairy tale, the prince charming coming to save the princess from her old fuck of a father. Or perhaps Marshall was being too imaginative.

Pop! Pop!

As soon as his vision cleared, he found a massive crowd gathered in that Bifrost waiting hall. It was overcrowded, and then there was confetti everywhere, raining down. He frowned and looked around, and saw some Asgardians holding massive banners. They were…

"What the fuck!?" Marshall exclaimed.

The banners were unexpected.

[Congratulations on becoming a father!]

[Tamer of Death! Long Live the First Man!]

[Son-In-Law of Asgard!]

[Death + Madness = Chaos Baby!]

Marshall read each banner in utter confusion. He expected a battle, but they were celebrating instead.

"Welcome back to Asgard, Marshall." Odin appeared in his regal attire.

"Where's Hela?" Marshall questioned.

"With Frigga. Fear not, my friend. Hela is whole and of sound mind. She came of her own accord. That said, there is much we must discuss."

What to discuss? Ah, I did bang his daughter.

"Alright. Let's go, Marty."

He followed Odin all the way to the mainland. Even there, the atmosphere was that of celebration. Not just a celebration, but they were actually cheering for him. It was truly confusing.

They didn't even know she existed until yesterday.

Curious, he probed a random Asgardian's mind with his telepathy and listened to what was going on.

Hmm… Let's see… he's hungry. He can't wait for the feast.

Finding no clues, he probed another Asgardian. But even after probing multiple times, he found no answers.

Should I… He looked at Odin walking in front of him. Fuck it, let's just do it. What's he going to do?

Marshall daringly tried to enter Odin's mind. He was insane enough to think of it, and more insane to even try. But his attempts didn't succeed. Some sort of shield was protecting Odin's mind.

Makes sense for him.

Soon enough, they entered Odin's royal hall. It was mostly empty. Mostly, because near Odin's throne, three figures were standing. A man and two… insanely gorgeous beauties.

"Who's the fatty?" He asked about the man. "Looks weird."

"That is Zeus," Odin replied. "The golden-haired one is his daughter, Aphrodite. The dark-haired one, Athena."

Marshall shamelessly whistled loudly and commented. "Damn, no way that fat meatloaf made those stunners. They're fucking gorgeous."

"I wholeheartedly agree," Odin declared, not even suppressing his voice.

Tall as a mountain, Zeus's balding grey hair sparkled with thunder. "Odin, I have not come here to be mocked. You chose to mediate. You have no right to interfere."

"Simply an observation, Zeus," Odin replied, and took his throne with pride.

Marshall didn't even look at the two old farts. No, his entire, undivided attention was aimed at the two insane beauties. The blonde, Aphrodite, had already stolen his heart. She was dressed in some sort of golden gown that was loose, and yet revealing, all her arms, a wide neckline, and her beautiful cleavage. Her curves were so perfect they looked carved, made to be arousing to look at. And her face, every speck of her feature was perfection, her brows, her blue eyes—peak.

"It's working," Marshall said with a grin.

Aphrodite smirked mischievously. "I have done nothing… yet."

"Hmm…" Marshall eyed her up from head to toe. She was short, reaching his chest. But fuck, she was angelic to look at. Her skin was glowing. Soft to even look at. "Flowers don't have to charm the bees. It just works."

"Oh? So you're the bee?" Aphrodite smirked.

Marshall's face suddenly lost its smile and changed into a frown. "The fuck you mean by that? I'm the flower. I'm the finest man you'll ever see. Your loss, I'm more into… your charming, lovely sister… Oh, I already know she's gonna be a dommy mommy. Fuck, Hela really gave me a kink."

"..."

Aphrodite was speechless.

___________________

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