Maybe a Fake Gintama
Chapter 626: It's Not Easy to Replenish Energy During a Fight
"You, of all people, are unqualified to judge my actions. And..." Kawaki said as he put away his umbrella, glancing at Dingding, who had rolled his eyes and passed out on the ground, "as for the sins of my teacher."
After confirming that Dingding was still breathing, Oro glanced at Kawaki, who was clutching his chest and coughing up black blood, with a hint of regret on his face.
"A final counterattack before death? But that's all you've got. It's over..."
"One counterattack?" Kawaki wiped the blood from his mouth and then hoisted his umbrella again. Though his eyes were narrowed, his killing intent was palpable. "You've underestimated me. I'm not some dying animal that can only kick once before the end. My counterattack... will drag everyone into hell."
Kawaki's eyes snapped open, filled with a chilling desire for slaughter.
"As you said, I'm a... beast!"
Oro remained indifferent despite seeing the bloodlust in Kawaki's eyes.
"As expected, is this the blood of the Yato? No matter the situation, you Yato just enjoy the battle itself. I thought mutated Yato didn't have that instinct anymore, but it seems... you've still retained it."
Meanwhile, Shinjo, who was fighting and protecting Shige Shige, suddenly felt something. After cutting down one of the dark guards, she glanced toward where Kawaki stood.
"Shogun, we should retreat soon. It seems that man is about to get serious," she muttered.
"Just now..." Shige Shige began.
Before he could finish, Sasaki interjected, "It's fine, Shogun. For that beast, a bit of poison won't be a problem. Perhaps you haven't heard the stories about this mysterious, powerful former Joi Patriot? 'With one sword, he can destroy a nation. With one umbrella, he can stop a natural disaster. With a wave of his arm, he can call himself king.' That's how everyone who fought alongside him described him. Even the Four Heavenly Kings of Joi never denied it... He was their strongest ally and support."
At that moment, the sound of engines roared from above. Everyone looked up to see a massive roofed airship slowly making its way toward Edo Castle.
"Didn't expect reinforcements..."
After slaying two more Naraku members, Shinjo stepped back to join Sasaki and the remaining Mimawarigumi soldiers.
"We have to retreat. More than half of the Naraku have been deployed," Shinjo said. "The numbers are overwhelming, and it seems Oro's mission is specifically to complete Dingding's task and eliminate that man."
Boom!
Kawaki kicked away several Naraku members who had rushed him, sending them flying across the courtyard. He walked out of the smoke unhurriedly.
Glancing at the approaching airship, Kawaki lowered his head slightly, a smirk playing on his lips.
"If you want to play, then I'll get serious..." Kawaki raised his head, revealing a vicious grin. "Let's have some fun. If you don't let me enjoy this, don't think about leaving today, you crows who dare show yourselves in broad daylight..."
...
Meanwhile, at the Shinsengumi headquarters.
Corpses filled every corner of the compound—dark guards, Naraku members, and Shinsengumi soldiers.
Panting and covered in wounds, Hijikata, Sougo, and Kondo stood together, with the surviving Shinsengumi soldiers gathered behind them.
Despite the number of Naraku members not diminishing at all, they continued to charge relentlessly.
"There are too many of them!" Hijikata cursed as he cut down another Naraku member, taking a moment to catch his breath.
Sougo stepped forward, swiftly dispatching two more Naraku members, and asked, "But who's commanding these crows?"
"No idea," Kondo replied, still locked in combat with two Naraku members.
Seeing Kondo struggling with his weapons locked with the enemy's, both Hijikata and Sougo stabbed their swords forward in unison, taking down the attackers.
"Thanks, you two," Kondo said, retracting his sword.
"Since morning, we've been fighting until afternoon..." Hijikata glanced at the exhausted Shinsengumi soldiers. "The men are clearly running out of stamina. If this keeps up, we might be wiped out..."
"Strange how you don't seem tired at all, Hijikata," Sougo commented, glancing at him.
"Ah, I just replenished my energy," Hijikata nodded.
"What?! How did you do that?!" Kondo exclaimed in surprise.
Smack!
"Take this," Hijikata tossed a bottle of mayonnaise to Kondo. "One bottle is enough to keep a grown man fighting for two hours. There's plenty for everyone. After all, we're all Shinsengumi, and I don't hold back."
Kondo stared at the mayonnaise bottle in silence for a long time before looking up at Hijikata. "Hi...jikata?"
"What's wrong?" Hijikata asked, casually tossing the empty bottle aside after downing it. "I'm fully recovered now. You guys shouldn't hesitate either. Just return two bottles to me later."
Despite wanting to retort, Kondo knew their stamina was running dangerously low. Looking at the bottle of mayonnaise in his hand, he remained silent for a moment before finally making up his mind. He twisted the cap open and started gulping it down.
Behind him, the other Shinsengumi soldiers followed suit, closing their eyes and guzzling down the mayonnaise.
After all... this was their only way to restore their energy.
"Aren't you going to eat?" Hijikata asked Sougo. "You're running low on stamina too, right?"
"Sorry, Hijikata-san, I'm not in the habit of eating dog food."
Ignoring Hijikata's frustration, Sougo handed back the mayonnaise and started rummaging through his pockets.
"Got it!" Sougo pulled out a handful of Shinsengumi sausages and chocolate bars from his pocket. "I knew I had them in here."
"Captain Sougo..." Yamazaki looked at Sougo's stash with teary eyes, "If you had other food, you should've shared it sooner. Then we wouldn't have had to eat that stuff..."
"What do you mean 'that stuff'?!" Hijikata fumed, veins bulging on his forehead. "Do you want me to cut you down right now, Yamazaki? After the battle, return the mayonnaise and go commit seppuku, you idiot!"
"Sougo..." Kondo said as he continued to fight, glancing at the sausages and chocolate in Sougo's hands. "Those Shinsengumi sausages and chocolates..."
"Captain..." ×n
Everyone except Hijikata looked longingly at Sougo as he casually munched on sausages and chocolate.
"Huh?" Sougo mumbled through a mouthful of food, "Do you guys want some too?"
"Captain Sougo, we'll repay you double after the battle! Please, give me some chocolate! And sausages too!" one soldier begged.
"Huh? Don't you guys carry your own energy supplies during missions?" Sougo asked, taking another bite before quickly pulling out a can of energy drink from his pocket and gulping it down. "Ahh, refreshing!"
"Captain Sougo..." the Shinsengumi soldiers looked at him pitifully, "Please, share the food and energy drink with us..."
"Why?" Sougo asked casually as he continued fighting and munching.
"We'll repay you double! Please, Captain Sougo!" Yamazaki pleaded, "Give me the red bean bread!"
"We'll pay you back too!" the other Shinsengumi soldiers chimed in.
"Sougo... cough cough... You understand, right?" Kondo coughed and subtly extended his hand toward Sougo. "You know what to do... right?"
At that moment, Sougo smirked devilishly. "Sausages, 5,000 yen. Chocolate, 10,000 yen. Energy drinks, 20,000 yen. Red bean bread, 30,000 yen. Banana, 50,000 yen each."
"Are you running a business right now?!" Hijikata roared. "We're in the middle of fighting enemies here! And those prices are ridiculous!"
"Well, if you don't want to buy, that's fine. I'm not forcing anyone," Sougo shrugged. "This is a transaction that both parties have to agree on. If only one side agrees, it won't work."
"I... I'll buy!" one soldier raised his hand. "I'll pay you after the battle. Chocolate!"
"Alright, 10,000 yen for Squad 3's XXX," Sougo said, pulling out a notebook and writing down the order, then handing over a chocolate bar.
But just as the soldier was about to take the chocolate, a voice suddenly interrupted from behind.
"Hold on, Sougo-san. Didn't you just say that both parties have to agree for the transaction to proceed? So, if the deal isn't finalized yet, it can still be canceled, right?"
Everyone turned to see Shinpachi sitting on a picnic mat full of snacks and drinks, with Kagura acting as a shopkeeper beside him.
"Hey! What are you guys doing here? Are you trying to steal my business?" Sougo yelled.
"Step right up, everyone!" Kagura called out. "We've got all the snacks Edo has to offer, and our prices are way better than that jerk's!"
"Plus, we're running a grand opening special—50% off everything!" Shinpachi adjusted his glasses, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "That means everything is only three times the regular price, which is still cheaper than what Sougo-san's charging..."
"What?! Really?" one soldier exclaimed, rushing over. "Wow, it's true! The chocolate and drinks are only three times the normal price! Everyone, come buy from here!"
"And we've got freshly made ramen too!" Kagura added with a grin. "Just a small delivery fee that's three times the price, but totally worth it! Who wants some?"
"I do! I do!" the soldiers shouted.
In an instant, every soldier except Hijikata and Kondo dashed toward Kagura, waving their cash.
"This is unfair competition!" Sougo snarled, facing Kagura. "This is Shinsengumi territory! Who let you in without permission?"
"Humph," Kagura replied nonchalantly as she collected money. "We were just hired to check on things. When we heard you were low on food, we bought some and delivered it. You should be thanking us!"
"Everyone, the ramen will be ready in a few minutes," Shinpachi announced. "Our delivery guy will be here soon, so don't worry."
"Delivery guy...?" Sougo's expression darkened as a suspicion formed. "Could it be..."
Before he could finish, Hijikata and Kondo, who were holding back the Naraku forces at the front, seemed to falter.
"Hey! This is no time for that! Get back here and help us!" Hijikata shouted as he slashed at an enemy.
"Don't forget my banana!" Kondo added, swinging his sword. "Sougo, I'll take ramen too, but it has to have mayonnaise, or I'm not paying!"
Before Hijikata could respond, a familiar voice cut through the air.
"Ramen delivery!"
Everyone stopped fighting, including the Naraku members, as Gintoki appeared, carrying two giant ramen delivery barrels.
Ignoring the stunned stares, Gintoki crouched down, placed the barrels on the ground, and handed Hijikata a large bowl of ramen. "Here's your ramen with extra mayonnaise. Thanks for your business."
"Wait... what... huh?!" Kondo finally reacted. "Yorozuya?! Why are you here?!"
Ignoring Kondo's outburst, Gintoki turned to the nearest Naraku member, smiling as he began his sales pitch.
"Hey there, sir. You must be hungry too, right? Fresh ramen, just three times the normal price! After fighting for so long, you must be craving a bowl of hot ramen, right?"
Without waiting for a response, Gintoki handed a bowl of ramen to the confused Naraku member.
"Everyone behind him, don't be shy! It's only three times the regular price. And I promise, it's worth every yen! Just one bowl, and you'll be ready to keep fighting these cops!"
At that moment, the Naraku member standing in front of Gintoki stepped back and stabbed his spear toward him.
But...
"Sir," Gintoki calmly dodged the attack and countered with his wooden sword, piercing the man's stomach. "Freeloading is very rude, you know."
"You..." Hijikata's eyes widened in disbelief.
"Don't get the wrong idea," Gintoki said casually, charging at the approaching Naraku. "We're not here to save your sorry asses. We're just doing a job."
"A job?" Hijikata asked, confused.
At that moment, the sound of someone slurping noodles came from the front gate. Hijikata and Kondo turned to see Matsudaira, battered and bruised, squatting on the ground and devouring a bowl of ramen.
Beside him stood Rokuro Mukuro, who had recently walked out of Edo Castle.
"Ahh... Burp." Matsudaira let out a satisfied belch after finishing his ramen, then threw the bowl to the ground and stood up. "Hurry up and finish the ramen!"
"That's the enemy, not the ramen you should be finishing!" Hijikata yelled, veins bulging as he continued fighting a Naraku member. "What kind of order is that?!"
"The old man means both the ramen and the enemies should be finished," Kondo chuckled as he fought off another Naraku member. "Finally... we can fight with everything we've got! Everyone, charge!"
At that command, all the Shinsengumi soldiers rushed forward to battle the Naraku.
"Hey! Don't forget to pay for the ramen!" Gintoki shouted toward Matsudaira. "Last time, a police chief stiffed us, and we're still waiting for the payment!"
"Don't worry, I'm not like Sasaki," Matsudaira replied calmly, taking a puff of his cigar before glancing toward Edo Castle. "Didn't expect this incident to be orchestrated by him. Though I warned the Shogun to watch out for him, I didn't think it would happen this quickly. Dingding..."