CHAPTER 37: CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN: OLD MACDIRECTOR HAD A FARM

Wu Shiyun should have known trouble was coming the moment her right eyelid started twitching. She wasn’t the superstitious type—but some things, she decided, existed purely to mock science.

Otherwise, how else could anyone explain why she was standing here under the scorching sun, in her designer heels, surrounded by chickens and people who looked far too cheerful about it?

If this was the director’s definition of "romance," then clearly, he needed therapy.

It turned out there were certain things even the Wu Shiyun would come to regret—and mind you, she rarely regretted anything.

She mustn’t have been in the right mind when she came chasing after Shen Xiyu in the dating show.

The heat had made her sober, because she could have been partying anywhere else in the world instead of here—surrounded by bugs, mud, and people who thought manual labour built character.

Honestly, if Shen Xiyu didn’t fall in love with her after this, she was going to take it personally.

Because enduring this level of discomfort, in her opinion, was already the most dramatic declaration of love a woman could possibly make.

*****

An Ning had half a mind to pry open the director’s skull just to see what passed for logic in there.

How, in all seriousness, did he think this belonged in a dating show? Was he trying to test their relationships—or end them?

She glanced around at the others: Wu Shiyun glaring at her heels like they’d betrayed her, Jiang Shuyue fanning herself with a useless brochure, and Zhou Zhenyu—the new fitness coach—standing there with the calm despair of a man realising he signed the wrong contract.

It was, An Ning decided, the kind of scene that made even romance look like a survival game.

It didn’t help that the director had told them to lay out their luggage so the crew could confiscate "non-essentials."

Snacks were the first casualties.

*****

Wu Shiyun’s horrified gasp was loud enough to make the cameraman flinch.

"You can’t just take people’s snacks!" she protested, clutching her imported tote like a lifeline. "That’s inhumane!"

The production assistant smiled politely while prying a box of imported chocolates from her grip. "Director’s orders, Miss Wu. Everyone has to live like locals this week."

"Locals?" Wu Shiyun echoed, scandalised. "What locals live like this?!"

An Ning bit back a laugh. The contrast between Wu Shiyun’s designer sunglasses and the dusty farmland behind her was already comedy gold.

[She really said "I’m not one of them—I run them" 😭😭😭]

[That Princess Wu for everyone.😭]

[HAHAHA the production had no sympathy for her at all.]

Zhou Zhenyu adjusted his cap. "At least the air’s clean."

"Clean?" Wu Shiyun gasped. "I can see dust!"

"Better than smog," he replied evenly.

[Gym-bro voice: "Breathe in the pain." 💪😂]

[He’s so calm. Is it because he had already resigned himself to fate????]

[Someone please hand him a protein shake.]

Jiang Shuyue sighed. "At least we’ll get some colour in our cheeks."

"Heatstroke counts as colour," An Ning said dryly.

[LMAOOO An Ning always delivers 😭]

[She’s not surviving, she’s narrating her suffering in HD 💀]

Then came the director’s far-too-cheerful voice from the loudspeaker. "Alright, everyone! This week’s theme is Love Through Labour! You’ll be living like real villagers—growing crops, cooking your own meals, and doing daily chores together!"

A collective groan rippled through the group.

Wu Shiyun pressed a hand to her forehead. "Unbelievable. First ghosts, now farming. What’s next? Love Through Taxes?"

Even Chen Yiming, standing a little apart, exhaled a quiet laugh that was mostly disbelief.

"This," he said flatly, "is a biohazard waiting to happen."

Wu Shiyun’s eyes lit up, delighted to finally find an ally. "Exactly! Finally, someone with sense!"

Chen Yiming gave her a sidelong look. "No, Miss Wu. I meant you are the biohazard. You’re wearing perfume strong enough to stun livestock."

[HELPPP not the livestock 😭😭😭]

[Chen Yiming’s tongue is sharper than his scalpel 💀]

[He wins the episode already.]

"Excuse me—this is a limited edition scent!"

"Limited for a reason," he muttered.

An Ning covered her mouth, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter.

Before Wu Shiyun could retaliate, Sun Qiaolian stepped forward, radiating moral superiority. "Everyone, don’t complain. This kind of experience builds character! It helps us reconnect with nature."

Wu Shiyun blinked. "Are you trying to win an award right now?"

Sun Qiaolian’s smile didn’t waver. "No, I just think this will make us better people."

"Better sweaty people," Chen Yiming corrected.

Even Zhou Zhenyu snorted quietly at that.

[Sun Qiaolian doing her Miss Good Moral speech again 😭]

[Girl we are melting, not ascending 😩]

[Chen Yiming MVP of sarcasm award.]

Then the director’s voice boomed again: "Alright, time to assign tasks! Some will tend the crops, others will handle the animals!"

"Animals?" Wu Shiyun repeated in horror. "Define handle."

"Probably in the literal sense," An Ning said.

"I have a manicure," Wu Shiyun declared.

"And I have a camera," the director replied cheerfully. "Perfect match."

[Producer evil levels: unlocked 💀]

[He’s feeding off their despair 😭😭😭]

[This episode’s title should just be: Chaos in HD.]

Wu Shiyun’s glare could have melted the lens.

An Ning sighed, adjusting her straw hat. "He’s enjoying this far too much."

Zhou Zhenyu followed her gaze. "That’s the face of a man who thinks chaos equals good TV."

"Unfortunately," she said, "he’s right."

Zhou Zhenyu tilted his head. "You sound experienced."

"Let’s just say," she murmured, "I’ve learned to expect the worst."

He smiled faintly. "Then you’ll fit right in."

Chen Yiming folded his arms. "If anyone faints, I’m charging consultation fees."

Sun Qiaolian clasped her hands. "Let’s all do our best! The audience will love seeing us grow together!"

[She’s one inspirational quote away from combusting ☀️😭]

[An Ning looks DONE I love her so much 😂]

[Peak reality TV right here, no script could top this.]

An Ning didn’t look at anyone in particular. She just smiled, faintly.

Because she knew—this wasn’t supposed to happen.

The show never had a farming episode.

But now, the story was changing.

The world was taking its own detour.