“We’re not fighting, we’re playing! Here, do your thing or I’m gonna bite you~!”

“Eep!” the Showbunny cries before redoubling her efforts to find something useful in her hat. She pulls and throws another banana cream pie, a spray can of whipped cream, a spray can of shaving cream, and then a swivel-head razor in succession as if her mind is drifting further off-course with each item.

*Chomp!* *Chomp!* *Chomp!* *Chomp!*

They all get devoured by the Darkling Horror one after the other. “Yum, yum, yum! Keep going~”

Damn it! Go faster, me!

I dig deep, fueling my flames with everything I have. Steam fills the top of the cavern and begins to condense in a drizzly rain. We’re three-quarters across the room when the Orcess-centipede catches a dazed Megan.

“Blud!!!”

The Orcess upper body grips the mouse girl in comparatively enormous hands aiming to crush her into a fine paste. However, the centipede gets more than they bargained for, as Megan’s Third Tier body is not inferior to the Orcess’s in the least despite her tiny size. The Denki Nezumi holds apart the green-skinned vicelike grip around her and shouts—

“—THUNDER…!!!”

Arcs of electricity leap from Megan to ground themselves through the centipede to the cavern floor, making the Orcess and every body in the chain convulse with pain. The centipede roars in rage and that giraffe-like neck whip-crack flings Megan away to the opposite side of the room.

Dura stumbles out of her second crater of the hour slinging metal-studded clubs. This time, though, she’s aiming for the Mermaid-centipede, which has all of its multitasking focuses on me. The pairs of eyes along its spinal column notice the incoming attack headed for the backside of the Mermaid’s skull, but it can’t deal with both threats.

The Mermaid-centipede turns the whirlpool cannon to sweep away Dura and her flung club both, but that finally frees me to rocket forward at jet-speed. An instant later, my massive fiery wolf head chomps down on the Mermaid’s torso! Solid flame teeth shear flesh, crack bone, and burn through everything. I overshoot, having to turn about midflight before hitting the cavern wall, but the Mermaid’s upper body is consumed by the conflagration inside my jaws while the severed top of the centipede fountains blood.

“S-stay back!” Cottontail stutters while fishing for anything that can stop the deadly march of the oncoming Horror with its scores of gaping maws dripping saliva. Instinctively, she points the business-end of her hat at Tygge and taps the rim with her wand. A flock of doves spew forth from the hat's impossibly deep opening at the evolved Darkling.

Tygge practically dances for joy at the smorgasbord of endangered avians pouring from the hat, making a game of snatching each and every one from the air even if she has to dart around and leap to reach some with her maw-hands.

*Chomp!-Chomp!-Chomp!-Chomp!-Chomp!*

Fuck, it’s like this thing has a bottomless stomach!

Despite the constant stream of appetizers, Tygge continues to slowly advance toward Cottontail.

Feeling like I have a little time to act before I have to rescue her, I turn my flaming wolf head chariot at the Orcess-centipede charging our way. That’s when, from the corner of my eye, I see things go from bad to worse. My opponent isn’t dead. Well, its other four bodies aren’t yet.

The former Mermaid-centipede fountaining blood drenches the Harpy body next in the chain, and the avian monster begins to change. Her wings turn red, liquefy, and absorb the gushing gore. Of all the times, now we happen to have a monster evolve on the enemy side!

It’s a rare event, but everyone has an anecdote of a friend or friend-of-a-friend having had it happen to them. Shit is about to hit the fan, as the ancient proverb goes.

The headless Bloodwing-centipede flaps, throwing a storm of Air-guided crystal-blood feather knives at me. They have better penetrating power than the torrent cannon, sinking inches deep into the flaming wolf head and threatening to destabilize the construct if I don’t eliminate the threat. At the same time, the Wolf Rushing Orcess-centipede is upon me, swinging its giraffe-like whip of a neck my way.

There’s a shuddering impact as the Orcess slams a double-fisted hammer blow with all the combined strength of five bodies working in unison to the top of my flaming wolf head, and we’re pummeled into the cavern floor. Miraculously, I’m able to maintain the construct without it falling apart, but I’m momentarily stunned.

“Dura smash!!”

My beautiful Ogress lover staggers out of the puddle where she washed up slinging more metal-studded clubs, undeterred by her being repeatedly beat down. Left-right-left, her flung clubs fly at their targets, both the headless Bloodwing-centipede and the Orcess-centipede being forced into evasive maneuvers while they position for a counterstrike.

Megan scrambles to her feet, worse for wear from the two aborted attempts at a Thunder Crash and from being kicked and tossed around without a recharge. A trickle of blood drips from her temple where she bonked her head at some point. She might’ve suffered worse injuries if not for her improved Constitution. As is, her fur’s glow is beginning to dim.

This isn’t good.

Cottontail isn’t faring any better; in fact, the Darkling Horror is upon her! Tygge’s movements have grown erratic, faster, more violent in a fever of ecstatic bloodlust after chomping down on bird after bird flying from the Showbunny’s hat. An errant blow from Tygge’s flailing hand hits Cottontail in the throat.

*Chomp!*

The Showbunny skids and tumbles across the cavern floor while clutching her throat as blood gushes between her fingers. She rolls to a stop curled on her side in a growing pool of crimson. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

“Oops, got a little carried away, there,”

Tygge says as she rushes up to loom over Cottontail while her scores of maws close to reform her sleek black carapace. “Didn’t break you, did I, haha…?” If I weren’t freaking out and possibly concussed, I might believe my ears that I’m hearing concern in the Darkling Horror’s voice. “Hey, bunny girl, you can heal yourself with that crazy magic, right?”

“Hrk,” Cottontail coughs wetly, spitting blood as her body goes into shock.

“Oh, yeah, you need your hat and stick thingy, one sec!” Tygge darts over to grab the top hat and wand from where they fell and, returning, pushes them under Cottontail’s arms to no effect. Blood continues to leak from beneath the fallen Showbunny’s hands. “Um, you’re gonna be alright, right?”

“GET AWAY FROM HER!!!” Megan radiates a burst of power as she sprints at max speed. The Denki Nezumi grabs onto Tygge’s back and screams, “THUNDER…!!!” while shedding streamers of electricity.

“Ow! Go away!”

Tygge grabs Megan by the arm, swings the mouse girl around, and slams her into the ground hard enough to make the Denki Nezumi bounce once before collapsing in a limp heap.

Sue slaps me across the face inside the flaming wolf head skull chamber, screaming, “Get ahold of youwself!”

The world snaps back into focus as my head clears. Both Centipedes are combining their efforts to smack Dura around like a ragdoll, and both our Third-Tiers are down. If there’s any time for me to kick things into gear, it’s now. “Thanks, Sue!”

Rivers of fire pour from my fur into the wolf’s head construct, flaming jets streaming from the neck as we lift back into the air. Frankly, I want us to flee, but I can’t see us escaping with all three enemies on our tail. We need to cut down their numbers.

My fiery wolf head rockets forward in an arc that terminates in me taking the base of the Orcess-centipede’s giraffe-like neck in my jaws. I close my solid-flame teeth on the lowest Burrower body and clench my jaw, popping Servitors like grapes before sinking my fangs into vulnerable Webling flesh. My mouth closes with a click, severing the Orcess-centipede into two much weaker halves. I learned my lesson about going for the ‘head’ after last time.

“I know, I’ll take you to Mother! She can fix you like she did me!” As Tygge reaches down to pick up Cottontail, pink light flashes from beneath the Showbunny’s fingers. Cottontail coughs to clear her throat and pulls her bloody hands away to reveal unblemished skin. “Oh, good, you do know healing magic! Now we can keep playing forever~”

Rising to her feet, Cottontail's gaze lands on Megan, the mouse girl breathing but otherwise motionless. “You hurt my sister.” The Showbunny’s hands clench on her wand and the rim of her hat. “You. Hurt. My. Sister.”

“Eh?”

“So, I’m going to hurt you!!!”

After tapping her wand on the top of her hat, she points its abyssal mouth at the Darkling Horror. Five endless streamers of scarves shoot from the hat at Tygge, each scarf a different color or pattern, each streamer a separate line of scarves tied end to end. The scarf-ropes wrap around the Horror’s wrists, ankles, and neck, though Tygge automatically bites through the neck one. With all four of her enemy’s limbs bound, Cottontail yanks her hat to the side, sending a wave through the lines of rope.

When that wave reaches Tygge, the Horror is sent careening as if thrown by the hand of a giant. The chain of scarves spills from the hat’s dark mouth in an unceasing stream until Tygge is slammed into the wall, creating a crater of her own. Then Cottontail jerks the hat in the opposite direction, flinging Tygge bodily across the chamber to hit that wall, and the evolved Darkling falls to the ground.

“I didn’t know you liked to play rough~” Tygge says as she stands, her carapace no more than scuffed despite two stony craters to the contrary.

In response, Cottontail reaches into her hat with a murderous expression. Shoulder-deep, she grabs something that she struggles to lift for a moment before it pops free at last—its dimensions forcing the hat to stretch wider in accommodation. What appears to be a wooden coffin lands on the ground nearby, the lid opening as if by an unseen hand to reveal a bloodstained bare interior. Weirdly, there are cuts in the top and bottom as if for the occupant to have their their head and feet sticking out when the lid is closed.

Its purpose becomes obvious when the next object shoots out of Cottontail’s hat to land beside the first… a large saw with jagged teeth, the metal stained with either rust or more blood.

Tygge idly reaches down to snap one of the scarf ropes tying her with a maw-hand, but that’s all she can accomplish before Cottontail yanks on the lines once again. The Darkling Horror soars around and around the cavern before the Showbunny arches back, the wave of force along the scarf ropes careening Tygge into the ceiling, and then slams down with all the strength of her Performer's Body.

“Get in the box!!!”

The Darkling Horror plummets from a crater in the ceiling, scarf ropes dragging her down by the ankles and wrist toward the bloodstained coffin.

There’s still one centipede left, and they make their presence known by slapping my wolf head construct with a score of crystal-blood feather daggers. A ripple rolls through my solid flames as they quiver on the verge of falling apart. My concentration can’t sustain another blow; I’ve got to end this.

My jet-propelled flaming wolf head makes the turn, looping around Cottontail’s scarf ropes in the air as I swoop past the descending Horror to throw myself at the Bloodwing-centipede. Like last time, I target the middle between two Black Widow bodies and my jaws slice through flesh and bone like butter as we sail past. With the Centipede in pieces, they can’t unite their multitasking focuses, making them even weaker than their solo counterparts and infinitely more sadly pathetic as their mutilated bodies crawl across the cave floor.

Meanwhile, Cottontail slams Tygge into the wooden coffin, which miraculously doesn’t shatter from the impact. Except the Darkling Horror has her free hand holding up the lid to prevent it from slamming closed. Tygge struggles to rise and escape even while the scarf ropes tie her in place as they writhe like snakes.

The Showbunny reaches into the hat one last time, rage on her face, and shouts, “I said—” while producing an anvil that pops out, rising high into the air. “Get! In! The!—” With a cartwheel and a handspring, Cottontail leaps after it, does a somersault, and lands on the airborne anvil where she crouches before kicking off to punctuate the last word, “Box!!!”

The anvil hits Tygge in the stomach like a meteorite crashing to earth. After reeling back from the force, the coffin snaps closed with several padlocks clicking into place automatically. Even the sawblade is bounced up by the impact, falls onto the coffin, and begins cutting through wood on its own as if held by an unseen hand.

“Haha, I’m in danger!” Tygge giggles while wiggling her feet and marveling at her predicament. Then she whistles with that massive neck-maw, and all hell breaks loose.

Servitors, Black Widows, Burrowers, and even another Centipede pour into the cavern from the far entrance. This is not a battle we want to fight. I circle around again to grab Dura in my jaws where she’s crouched on one knee while pulling crystal-blood feather daggers from her flesh and swallow her into the skull chamber with Sue and I.

After her graceful three-point landing, Cottontail scrambles over to Megan and promptly sits on her sister’s face. I’d make a comment about inappropriate behavior but, when the Showbunny starts twerking her fluffy-wuffy cottontail on the Denki Nezumi’s cheeks, a static charge accumulates. In seconds, Megan’s fur is glowing a bright yellow, and her wounds start healing.

Black Widows claw at the wooden coffin and Servitors gum up the sawblade with their gooey broken carapaces while I dip down to take the mouse and bunny sisters in my jaws next. A Centipede blasts the coffin with a jet of focused water and Tygge’s neck maw starts munching on the top of the wooden neck-hole as I and my four companions jet toward the cavern exit.

“Hey! Where’re you all going? Who said we were done playing?”