CHAPTER 74: CHAPTER 74

Chapter 74

Kaeleen’s POV

I didn’t show it but her words hung in the air between us, a confession so raw and hopeful it felt like I was holding my breath.

’ou make me feel like I can start all over. Be myself again.’ She’s been through so much.

There was a tightness in my chest I couldn’t place. I tried to run at it but it wouldn’t go away. I was pissed with the people who made her feel this way. The people who made her feel worthless. Who made feel unlike herself.

She was crying, but she was also chuckling through her tears, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. The combination was so purely Astrid, a mix of deep-seated pain and an unbreakable spirit, that I felt my heart ache with a feeling so fierce it was overwhelming.

The atmosphere was thick with emotion, heavy with the weight of everything we had just admitted to each other. I knew if we stayed here, we might spiral back into the intensity of it all. What she needed right now wasn’t a more heavy conversation. She needed normalcy. She needed to breathe.

An idea, simple and blessedly normal, sparked in my mind.

"Hey," I said, my voice softer than I intended. "I have an idea."

She looked up at me, her brown eyes still shimmering with unshed tears, a question on her face.

"How about we watch a movie?" I suggested, a small smile playing on my lips. "We can raid the kitchen, get all the popcorn and candy we can carry, and you can pick anything you want to watch."

A genuine laugh escaped her, a bright, beautiful sound that was like music after the tension of the last twenty-four hours. She tilted her head, a familiar, mischievous glint appearing in her eyes.

"Is this your subtle way of showing off that your pack has things like televisions?" she teased. "Trying to prove you’re more advanced than the Moonshade pack, where the screens are in some specific places?"

"Damn!" I said with a laugh. "You just reminded me."

"Don’t pretend like the thought wasn’t on your mind."

"Well...can you blame me? Imagine visiting a place and there was hardly any form of entertainment. That makes no sense at all."

"Now that I’ve seen you guys, I think I understand." She said to me.

"We have a home theatre here. I don’t know if Rebecca showed you when she did a tour of the house. One which she took from me by the way."

"She did. And it’s beautiful." She told me with a small smile on her face.

"Then it’s a date," I said, the word slipping out before I could stop it. I didn’t take it back. "The home theater is on the ground floor, to the left of the main living room. Go on down, get comfortable. I’m going to take a quick shower and I’ll be right there."

"I know where it is, Kaeleen."

"I was just making sure you didn’t get lost."

"Okay," she said, giving me a soft smile. She looked down at the bouquet of tulips still in her hand. "I’m going to put these in water first. They’re beautiful, Kaeleen. Thank you."

"I saw them and they reminded me of you," I admitted, the words feeling more honest than any grand declaration. "Elegant and strong."

She blushed at my words, a lovely shade of pink that I wanted to see again and again. She clutched the flowers to her chest and turned as if to head to her room, but then she paused. She turned back to me, her expression suddenly serious again.

"Kaeleen," she said.

"Yes?" I asked curious as to why she was calling me.

"Wait for me."

I frowned in confusion. "I am. I mean, you’ll probably be waiting for me. I still have to shower, and you’ll be down there picking the movie."

She shook her head, a small, sad smile on her lips. "No," she clarified, her gaze steady and unwavering. "That’s not what I mean."

Okay? I stared, confused because I had no idea what this meant and where she was going with this.

She took a deep breath, and I could see her gathering her courage. "I mean...wait for me. I know... I know it’s going to take a while before I can... before I can be with anyone like that again. After Leon."

I hated hearing her say his name but it was something she had to get out of her chest.

"It’s going to take a while until I feel completely like myself again. To learn to love things that are just me and for me. I don’t know how long it’s going to take also because frankly speaking, I don’t know what it means to live for myself. I’ve been living for people for so long, trying to be someone I’m not that it’s going to be difficult but even at that, i..." she paused taking a deep breath.

I was quiet as she continued. This was a chance to get her to say things off her chest. This was her step at recovery and I was going to help her through it.

"I.." she continued. "I don’t want to live my life for anyone else anymore, only for me. But I want you to know..." Her voice trembled slightly, but she pushed on. "I don’t want you to think I don’t feel anything. I do. And while I want to try this thing...this connection between us, I don’t also want to rush into it. You’ve done a lot for me and I appreciate it and I’ll try not to make you wait too long. I’ll try to pay you back for everything you’ve done."

Her words settled deep in my chest. She saw my help as a debt she had to pay? What the fuck was this shit? Every passing day, I realise that the damage that Leon and even her family had done to her was worse than what I initially thought.

I just need an opportunity for Leon to fuck up one more time. And damn, I wouldn’t be so quiet next time, not after what he’s done to this sweet soul.

"Astrid," I said, my voice gentle but firm, cutting through her words before she could continue down that path. "You don’t owe me anything. You don’t have to pay me back for a single thing. I don’t want you to. All I want is for you to stay. For you to be happy and safe here, with me."

I paused.

"I mean, it’s not like I’m going to force you to stay if you don’t feel comfortable with me here. You have a choice to leave anytime but would I like it if you came to like this place as much as I do? Yes. But that aside, it’s not a bad thing to depend on people. Everyone leans on someone. That’s what family, what a pack, is for. But," I added quickly, seeing the flicker of protest in her eyes, "I understand why you need to stand on your own right now. I get it. And I can wait. I would wait a thousand years for you, Astrid. Don’t ever doubt that."

Ryker protested saying a thousand years was too long but I turned a deaf ear to him. He was now a whining beast after we found Astrid which was saying a lot because he wasn’t like this before.

The air between us was charged again, but this time it was with a fragile, profound understanding. I wanted to hold her, to physically show her the safety and sincerity in my words. But I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

I kept my hands at my sides, a deliberate act of control.

"Can I hug you?" I asked, my voice low and careful.

Her eyes widened slightly, surprised by the question. A wave of relief washed over her face, so clear and so powerful it almost brought me to my knees. She understood. She saw that I was learning, that I was trying to respect the invisible walls she still had around her.

She gave me a small, shy nod.

I stepped forward slowly, giving her every opportunity to change her mind. I wrapped my arms around her gently, pulling her into a soft embrace. It was nothing like the passionate kiss from the night before. This was a hug of comfort, of reassurance. I rested my chin on the top of her head, inhaling the sweet, clean scent of her hair. I held her for only a moment, a brief island of peace, before I made myself let go. I stepped back, giving her space, proving that I could.

"Go on," I said, my voice a little rough with emotion. "Go pick out a movie. And all the snacks. Don’t hold back on the chocolate. I’ll be down in twenty minutes."

She gave me one last, grateful smile, a promise of a peaceful evening ahead. As she walked toward her room, tulips in hand, I finally felt like I could breathe again. We were a long way from being whole, but for the first time, it felt like we were finally learning how to piece ourselves together.