CHAPTER 41: THEODORE PRUNE

’Who the hell is this Sung Jinwoo lookin’ ass?’ he thought bitterly.

Before he could mentally glaze the guy any further, the man in the trench coat turned his head, calm and casual, and started walking toward him.

"Excuse me," the man said, voice naturally monotone and smooth enough to sell weather apps. "Can I ask you a question?"

Lanz blinked. "Y—Yeah, what’s up?" he replied, already bracing for something dumb.

"I’m looking for a group of guys," the man said, tone still polite but with the subtle weight of someone who had been on this mission for too long. "Almost idiot-looking. Very annoying."

Lanz stared at him.

"...The f*ck? You just described, like, ninety percent of this school," he answered, genuinely confused. "You’re gonna have to be way more specific."

The guy let out a small sigh, his eyes briefly flicking up toward the gate like he was trying to summon patience from the sky.

"One of them has brown hair. Same height as you. Another’s a bit shorter, black hair with yellow streaks, and he eats a disturbing amount of crap. Especially chips. Last one’s got blue hair, kind of deadpan all the time. He’s chill, but in a ’doing to much’ kinda way though."

And just like that, Lanz’s brain stopped functioning for a good three seconds.

’He literally just described Kenji, Hiro, and Leo.’

He exhaled through his nose like a disappointed father. "What did they do?" he asked, tone halfway between curiosity and dread.

"They didn’t—"

The guy didn’t even get to finish because, of course, this was the exact moment when fate decided to throw hands.

"Is that him?" Hiro’s voice rang out like a toddler shouting across a mall, his finger dramatically pointed in the man’s direction.

"Yeah, it’s him," Leo confirmed like a snitch.

"HEY!" Kenji shouted, waving his hands like one of those inflatable tube man in front if stores.

The man in the trench coat turned his head toward the group with the exact same expression a predator gives to loud prey. Then, just as casually, he looked back at Lanz.

"...Nevermind. They’re here."

"Oh, that’s great!" Lanz said with a smile way too wide to be real. "I’ll just, uh, go now."

The guy nodded, a ghost of amusement in his voice. "Yeah... yeah, you should."

He nodded politely and started to walk around the guy in the trench coat, keeping it chill, keeping it casual, like he hadn’t just been approached by someone who looked like a main character from a power fantasy anime.

But halfway through his expertly executed detour, something in his brain finally decided to clock in for work and fired a single, very late neuron.

’Wait... wasn’t that Kenji’s voice?’

Lanz blinked, turned his head just a little, and there they were, his three dumbasses of destiny, standing near the gate like this was some kind of reunion episode.

Leo tapped Kenji’s shoulder with one hand, the other one lazily pointing in Lanz’s direction like he was trying to summon him with sheer finger energy.

"Hey, isn’t that Lanz?" Leo said, casually, like Lanz hadn’t just been through a minor social heart attack five seconds ago.

Kenji narrowed his eyes. "Oh sh*t, you’re right. Hey—"

But before Kenji could finish whatever dumb thing he was about to yell, Hiro already took the lead by shouting with the subtlety of a rocket launcher, "HEY!!! LANZ!!!"

Lanz didn’t even flinch.

He just stared at them like a man who had lived through too much. "Can you please keep your voice f*cking down? We are literally five feet away. Literally. You could whisper and still give me tinnitus."

"Oh, my bad," Hiro said with a sheepish grin, scratching the back of his head in the exact same pose as that old meme with a wolf — you know, the one, with the "gomen oomf chan" text. (A/N: Sorry to that one reader that hates weeb memes😭)

The guy in the trench coat raised an eyebrow and turned to Lanz, his tone as dry as unbuttered toast. "You know these guys?"

Lanz didn’t hesitate. "Unfortunately, yeah, they do," he replied before the three stooges could open their mouths.

"F*ck do you mean by ’unfortunately’?" Leo asked, brows raised, his voice already laced with playful suspicion.

"Nothing, my dearest, lovely, besto friendo," Lanz replied in the most exaggeratedly affectionate voice he could muster, throwing in a dramatic bow for extra cringe points.

Leo just scoffed and looked away, eyes closed like he was in a shampoo commercial, while Kenji mirrored the same overdone reaction.

It was theatrical, synchronized, and stupid — in other words, PEAK friendship.

Lanz pointed a thumb at the trench coat guy. "Alright, so... who’s this dude?"

"Oh f*ck, I forgot to introduce you guys," Kenji said, suddenly animated like he was hosting a talk show. His hands flailed with all the coordination of a guy trying to explain quantum mechanics using only interpretive dance.

"Lanz, this is Theodore Prune. Theodore, this is Lanz Kuroda," Kenji said, nodding proudly like he had just solved world peace.

Lanz extended a hand, keeping his expression cool, composed, and incredibly fake. "Nice to meet you," he said, voice even.

Theodore took the handshake, firm and calm. "You as well."

They let go.

Lanz nodded.

Theodore nodded.

Everything was good.

But it wasn’t, at all, behind Lanz’s award-worthy performance of calm civility, his brain was screaming.

’THIS WAS THEODORE?!?’ he thought, his internal voice clearly relaxed, definitely not on the verge of imploding.

End of Chapter 41.

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ALT SYSTEM — USER PROFILE: ZERO

Level: 13

EXP: 64 / 130

Next Reward: +10 Stat Points to a chosen stat

Global System Tracking: DISABLED

World Rank Association: UNLINKED

Stats:

STR: 10 | AGI: 10 (Affinity) | VIT: 5 | DEX: 5 | INT: 11 | WIS: 5

[Available Stat Points: 0]

[Derived Stat — MANA: 55 / 55]

Skills:

[Crimson Slash Lv. 1]

[Phantom Stride Lv. 2]

[Blade Control Lv.1]

[Parry Timing Lv.1]

[Reflex Sync Lv.1] (Passive Skill)

[Combat Awareness Lv.2] (Passive Skill)

[Skill Fusion Menu: Active]

[Dev Tree: Tier 0 Access Granted]

[Developer Node – Fusion Core Anchor: Active]

[Skill Slot Available — Unassigned]

Equipment:

Aged Blade Fragment (??? Rarity) (Bound)

Goblin Dagger

Spiked Boar Tusk Shard

Lightweight Chest Padding

Boots of Basic Mobility

Fingerless Gloves (Basic)

Starter Cloak: Faded Black

Training Ring (+1 VIT)