CHAPTER 41: DIVORCE

When Qi Yuan logged back into the game, he really wanted to post a video titled, Friends and Family, What do I do? My Family Arranged a Ghost Marriage for me! Of course, with a silly watermelon-head effect.

If it were on TokTok, the comments would probably be like: “Hang in there, sis.”

If it were on some forum, the comments would be: “Bro, you’re blessed.”

Of course, those were just stereotypes, none of which would solve his problem. Qi Yuan turned to his bride. He really wanted to see her face, her brows, her arms, and her thighs. She was his bride, surely that wasn’t too much to ask?

However, the bride was faceless. She also had no hands, legs, or even delicate feet...

Haa... all I did was take a nap, how did I end up married to an NPC?

The moment he logged in, he found himself lying on the bed with his bride. He was also in what seemed to be a bridal chamber. Red paper cuttings of the word “happiness” were pasted on the window. The bride itself was a red wedding gown. Yes, the old-fashioned Chinese bridal outfit usually seen in horror movies. Well, if he looked closely, he could imagine a delicate, beautiful, graceful bride inside.

Qi Yuan stared at the garment monster—or rather, the bridal-gown monster. He sighed helplessly. I just want to slash you into pieces for XP...

As if understanding him, the bridal-gown monster shrank back slightly. In the end, Qi Yuan didn’t kill this NPC.

Earlier, when he fought the Tattered-Cloth Emperor, its blood-red gas seeped into him. The gas was so troublesome, constantly weakening his stats and even trying to take control of him. Yet, it seemed to have been dispelled by his “bride”, the Wedding Garment Demon. Since she helped him, how could he turn her into XP?

Besides, unlike the other garment monsters who attacked on sight, the Wedding Garment Demon seemed to have some intelligence.

Looking at the Wedding Garment Demon, who sat on the bed just a step away, Qi Yuan asked softly, "Who are you? What’s your name?"

The demon didn’t answer, let alone move.

"You don't have a name? Or do you not remember? Why don’t I call you Little Red? Little Demon? ... Little Bride!"

In the end, he named her Little Bride.

Qi Yuan didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Haa, I got a free wife.

Even though his wife couldn’t communicate normally, he still tried to converse with her. "Why did you marry me?"

This time, Little Bride responded. She dropped a wooden plaque from her red sleeve. The old plaque was carved with just one word, “Husband.”

Qi Yuan was speechless. "You want me to be your husband? So you took advantage of me being offline to hold a wedding?!"

He had run into someone even more absurd than himself—and an NPC, at that!

"No way. We didn’t go to the Civil Affairs Bureau, so it doesn’t count!" he protested.

As if he was going to marry literal clothes! Sure, they said, "Bros are like hands, women are like clothes." But not actual clothes! Otherwise, how would married life even work?

Little Bride’s sleeve clung tightly to his arm, refusing to let go. She didn’t speak, but her actions made her intention clear.

Qi Yuan sighed. "Since you can communicate with wooden plaques, at least show more of them. Tell me more about yourself."

However, Little Bride didn’t reveal much info.

[Little Bride. The bride brought to you in a bridal sedan chair.]

Little Bride's sleeve shook, and eight wooden plaques fell out.

Qi Yuan stared. "Where did those come from? Can I reach inside your sleeve to find more?"

Little Bride didn’t retreat, so it was not a refusal.

Qi Yuan reached into her sleeve, brushing over where her chest, appendix, and liver would be. He found nothing. However, Little Bride reacted strongly, collapsing to the floor.

He quickly stopped searching and helped her up. Then, he examined the eight wooden plaques.

Qi Yuan couldn’t help but complain, "Were you a meme pack distributor in your past life?"

He immediately tested her by handing some wood to her and asking her to express herself. To his disappointment, it didn’t work. Little Bride could only produce those eight icons, limiting her world.

Qi Yuan said, "Haa... let’s divorce. I don’t see a future with you."

Little Bride gripped his arm tighter. One wooden plaque slipped out, the “hand holding sleeve” icon.

Qi Yuan suddenly understood her meaning. She wasn’t just pleading for him to stay, she was also telling him she could help. His interest was piqued.

Little Bride pressed her icy self against him, and something strange happened.

Her blood-red wedding gown transformed into glowing red motes, falling onto him like fireflies. In an instant, they fused into blood-red armor that encased him completely, leaving only his eyes exposed.

From a distance, the fluid plates of crimson seemed like flowing blood—delicate yet beautiful, mysterious yet powerful. Somehow, it gave Qi Yuan an immense sense of safety.

Clad in blood-red armor and gripping a massive sword, he swelled to ten meters tall. He seemed like a terrifying demon emerging from hell.

He felt a mark on his chest. There was a wedding garment tattoo identical to Little Bride. Her true essence, he realized. The armor was merely her protection for him, not her true vessel.

Qi Yuan blinked. "Level 93?"

By wearing Little Bride—or merging with her—his level shot up by 5.

Though sensing it was only temporary, he couldn’t help feeling excited. Five levels! This is a huge boost. Grinding monsters will be so much easier.

Even if he encountered the Level 95 Tattered-Cloth Emperor again, he wouldn’t have to run right away. He could even have a chance to fight it one-on-one and win. Well, one-on-one as in Qi Yuan plus Little Bride versus the Tattered-Cloth Emperor.

Then, something unexpected happened. Two skills activated at the same time—one major, and one minor.

Every thirty levels, he’d gain a major skill that could be used even in the real world. Every ten levels, he would unlock a minor skill. With Little Bride, his level broke through 90, unlocking both.

[Major skill: Sharing One Robe. Minor skill: Shred Cloth.]