The warm tears that drenched Shi Enxi''s shirt made her go stiff.

    Whenever he cried, there was no use of thinking, she knew that it was the real deal. As Lu Mello remained quiet, she didn''t know what to say.

    Instead of saying something, she reached out and run her fingers through his soft hair.

    "I... I''m sorry..." He forcefully whispered in between his cries. "I... ended up pushing you..." Ever since he came to the realization earlier, he couldn''t help but think that it was his fault that she turned evil again.

    If he didn''t force her and instead, respected her decision on not wanting a child, maybe, just maybe, she wouldn''t have to become a horrible mother who used her child for her gain. He was the one who pushed her to do it. If only he was attentive enough.

    What if they ended up having a child after the problem with Shi Anhao was solved instead? What if he waited? Their lives could have been better. They won''t have to fight and keep things from each other.

    No matter how much he thought of it, he couldn''t stop blaming himself. He was afraid that she would do things that would turn her completely ruthless. He pulled her away, drag her away from things that would poison her mind, including her revenge for Shi Anhao. In the end, the things he did pushed her in the abyss.

    She may have thought that he was a man who was willing to embrace the darkness inside her but it was actually the other way around. He was trying to run away and drag her away from it. He tried to change her. he never accepted her for who she really was.

    The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He was the one pushing her away from him. He was suffocating, drowning with the fears, fears concerning her. He was a coward. He was afraid of her, of what she could do.

    Who knew how long he cried on her shoulder? Shi Enxi was there, quietly sitting on his l.a.p while stroking his head.

    He could feel his legs becoming numb but he didn''t care. The pain inside him was overwhelming. It was at that moment that he felt how close she was and yet, far.

    Just like her, he couldn''t help but ask himself: how did he end up loving her?

    In the past, all she did was lie and betray him, and yet, why did he continue to love her? Why did he love her? He loved her so much to the point where he was willing to die together with her.

    Was this a curse? A family curse perhaps?

    He remembered how his mother, Xia Meilin once told him that she hated his father, Lu Yifeng, to the bones. She hated him so much but... how did she end up loving him again? Were their souls entwined with each other? If so, does that mean his soul was also entwined to Shi Enxi?

    No matter how much he gave it a thought, there were no answers to his question. The only answer he can up with was... Shi Enxi was the only one for him. Maybe they were really meant to be together even in the past? Or maybe... this was fate''s way of telling that no matter how much they force to be together, they will always end up being separated, one way or the other, even to the next life?

    Problems are meant to make relationsh.i.p.s stronger but... what''s this? He could feel Shi Enxi slipping off from his fingers. The more he tried to hold tight on her, the faster she slips. It was unfair. Truly unfair.

    When he found out that he traveled back in time, he wanted to save her and yet... was he really saving her? Or was he just pushing her on edge? Things were never going to be easy for them.

    "Mello..." Shi Enxi''s sweet voice was finally heard, bringing him back to reality before the darkness in him can even consume him whole. Her voice was enough to pull him out of his despair.

    He felt her warm palms on his cheeks as she placed them there just to make him look at her.

    There were no more tears flowing from his eyes as if he drained every tear inside when he cried earlier.

    She stared into his red eyes, not speaking a word for a few seconds. Who knows what was going in her mind but one thing was for sure, with the way she was looking at him, things were not going to get better.

    Her voice may be enough to pull him out of his despair and yet, the look in her eyes pushed him back to it. For some reason, he couldn''t brush off the anxiety inside him when he saw the way she was looking at him.

    "I''m not going to ask for a divorce but... after everything is over, can you let me go?"

    As her reflection was reflected in his eyes, what Lu Mello could see at that moment was a bird, a bird who wanted to fly out from the cage that was built around her. It was a cage that he unconsciously placed around her.

    He knew how hard it must have been for her to tell him those words. He could still see the pain and sadness in her eyes but the wanting to leave was there.

    He felt a lump in his throat but he forced out a question, "Where are you going?"

    The side of her lips curled up, a rueful smile was plastered on her face.

    There were no answers heard from her but her smile was enough to give him the reply to his question.

    Even if he was to say something to stop her, he was only going to clip her wings again. He already did that once, he didn''t want to do it again.