It was until her Yong Weiqing, the man who cared for her visited her and found out about it. He took her in and what was painful for the young Fan Xiao Yao was when her father never even said a word about it.

    After reaching high school, she left the Yong family and began living by herself. She took part-time jobs just so she could sustain her everyday need even if the Yong family was giving her monthly allowance. She was saving up money for college. She didn''t want to depend on the Yong family. They were not rich, they were just like any normal middle-class family and they still helped her. They showed her too much kindness and the only way she could repay them was to at least send them money every month once she became successful. She still did even up to this day. She was forever grateful for their help.

    When she entered college, she learned later that her father remarried after filing a divorce with her mother who was not even in her right mind anymore. It was the first time Fan Xiao Yao tried to fight for her family, for her mother who was in such a disadvantageous situation.

    Her father changed so much. Too much. When she faced him, the way he acted broke her heart. It was as if he wanted to break from his first family.

    Right now, when she learned that Huang Li wanted to get her parents'' blessings, she was troubled by it. She didn''t have a family. The Yong family, despite their kindness to her, were not her real family even if she thought of them as one.

    Yong Weiqing and his wife were so kind to her but she couldn''t bring herself to face them anymore. She was not a part of their family. The trouble she caused them was enough.

    When Huang Li told her that he wanted to meet her parents, she couldn''t help but think... Did she even have one?

    She even considered herself a bad child since after the argument she had with her real father after she failed in convincing him to not file a divorce, she stopped visiting her mother. She couldn''t bear to see her situation. She always ended up crying whenever she saw her, her poor mother who would stare at the window for the whole day without moving an inch or saying out a word.

    Fan Xiao Yao told herself that she wouldn''t break down after confiding her past to Huang Li but why? Why couldn''t she stop her tears?

    Shi Enxi was right. She was such a crybaby.

    At times like these, whenever she recalled her parents, she wanted to go back to the time where they still happy. She tried her best not to think of them since it only made her yearned for those times where they were complete, where her parents were still laughing, where they were still deeply in love with each other, where they spoiled their daughter by showering her with their love. She yearned so much of those times. She wanted to go back in time and if it was possible, she could have warned them not to go hiking.

    The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything was just gone. Fan Xiao Yao paused trying to hold back the strange feelings rumbling inside her but she couldn''t.

    "I... I want to go back..." She wanted her dad and mom back. So many tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face. Her chin trembled as if she was a small child. She breathed heavier than she ever had before. She was gasping for air that simply wasn''t there. Her throat burned, forming a silent scream.

    She had never cried this way for a long time since the day where she wanted to end her life, the day where Shi Enxi saved her, stopped her from killing herself because of her depression.

    When the wracking sobs passed she cried in such a desolate way that no-one could bear to listen for long. She had gone from gregarious to hanging by a thread, a transformation no-one knew how to reverse. Even Huang Li didn''t know what to say when he saw her break. All he could do was hug her.

    This was her deepest wound, a wound that never healed even to this day.

    "I-I''m sorry... I''m... sorry... Sorry... Mom... Dad..." Her voice trembled as she hardly muttered those words out. She wanted to save them but she couldn''t do anything, not even one thing. She couldn''t even bring them back. Maybe if she became more loving to her father back then when he returned, she could have done something. She could have warmed his heart. If only she tried her best to reach him out. Maybe. Just maybe.

    Huang Li rubbed her back gently trying to calm her. He never wanted to see her this way. He never expected that she had such a past. He wanted to say something but what should he say? Everything was going to be alright? An old wound like hers couldn''t be healed by those simple words. "Xiao Yao..."

    She clenched on his shirt and buried her face on his shoulder as her tears continued falling. "D... Don''t hate me... Please... P-please don''t hate me..."

    Those words were not for Huang Li, it was for her parents. The threads of every happy memory she could ever once recall, all but disarray of strings scattered in her mind. At that moment, it was as if her child self was the one speaking out those words.

    He felt his heart squeeze. He hugged her close. Even if those words were not for him, he closed his eyes and answered, "I will never hate you..."

    It may not come from her parents but his words were like magic that brought warmth and comfort to her aching heart.