CHAPTER 162: REUNION ( LUTHER’S POV )

"Luther? Where are you going?"

Lych’s voice cracked as I finally turned my back. It hurt. It hurt so much.

F-ck.

This is all my fault. Everytime I get trapped, I hate the feeling of the collar squeezing my throat so much that I bite and thrash around to escape—

Then Emiliano will let the leash extend enough for me to actually believe I am free.

Only to pull me in my neck, ripping me apart from whatever home I would find, burning all I’ve built to the ground no matter who was inside—

Showing me that I’ll never escape him.

It hurt.

It hurt when I thought Lior died because of me.

It hurt when Tom was left for dead cut open.

It hurts now that the same thing happened to Lych.

I am poison. A curse.

Everything I touch and care for withers away and I can’t stop it.

From the moment Claus threw me into Emiliano’s arms half a year ago, I became nothing but a propriety.

I used to be important. I used to run the political scene with my intelligence.

So what if they hated me?

I brought free secondary-gender healthcare for the civilians in my first year as a minister. And I could have done so much more.

So what if they deemed me worthless because I am an omega? Because my father’s influence was the main factor in my rapid ascension to power?

I used every last drop of that power to do good. To make a change.

I asked for nothing.

I needed nothing.

So why?

Why me?

I could only drown in my own self-pity, in the mourning of who I used to be when I walked out the door. I still had the phone in my hand echoing Emiliano’s rapid breathing.

But Lych was the one ringing in my ears as he screamed behind me:

"Don’t leave! We’re a team! I am fine. I am fine. I am not useless yet! You could still use me, Jason— I mean Luther! Don’t leave me, dude!"

I didn’t dare to look back at him. To say anything.

He deserved a proper goodbye, but I couldn’t even give that to him. After all he did for me, I couldn’t even give him a smile.

I could only mumble into the phone:

"You will let him live, right?"

"Of course, puppy."

I knew it was an empty promise. I expected it. Emiliano was a liar after all, but—

When the car lost itself into the distance, I could only hear the trees vibrating on the road. My eyes filled as I recognized the sound.

Lych got shot.

Numbness took over my body, leaving me nothing but a limp cadaver that still breathed. The only thing I could feel anymore was my tears rolling down, boiling on my cold cheeks.

Emiliano mumbled into the distance as the call on the phone kept going. I couldn’t tell a word he was saying.

I didn’t care.

Another life.

I had the blood of another life on my hands.

Because I was greedy and kept crawling my way towards something I was never meant to have.

I was born in the cage my father designed for me.

Why should it matter if I traded one cage for another? After all, a confined space is just as suffocating no matter its size.

I couldn’t exactly say how long the trip to Emiliano’s new home really was. I am ashamed to admit that I dozed off crying at some point.

What was the point of knowing my surroundings anymore?

The moment this car stops, that’s the moment my casket is laid in the grave Emiliano designed.

When I stepped out of the car, barely dragging one limb in front of the other, I could only hazily see the shape of the man who ruined my life running, slipping, racing to get his hands on me.

I have never seen such desperation in a man’s eyes. I will never admit it, but for just a moment—

That I might regret for the rest of my days, I was happy.

As if his tormented expression was just a mirror to mine.

"Puppy..."

He stopped in front of me— hair disheveled, wet pajamas he had unbuttoned and full of wrinkles, dark circles digging his golden eyes out.

His hands trembled as he extended them to touch me, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

I have no idea how I must have looked to him.

After all, ripped from my beautiful illusion I was living in with Lych, I had only a shirt and some boxers on myself. My hair must have been a mess as well.

My face was full of snot and tears as I cried my heart out on the way here.

However pathetic Emiliano looked to me, I must have been worse.

He took the sleeve of his shirt and cleaned my face harshly. I don’t think he meant to be rough.

I think he was stumbling into his own emotions and could yet figure out how to work his body to function properly.

I could feel my cheeks burning more and more as the material brushed mercilessly against my skin. Tears kept rolling as his sleeve kept wiping.

He gave up. Pulled me in a frantic hug as if he was worried I might dissolve in front of him and disappear forever.

I didn’t fight it. I lost the fight. I lost the war.

Might as well surrender and live as well as I could trapped here. In his shivering arms, crying in the brim of his ugly pajamas.

He didn’t really say anything for a while.

We just sat there as what was left of that cursed rain dripped on us.

How could some water have that much effect on Lych, but feel just like a summer rain to me and the monster I am bound to?

After a while, he broke the silence, mumbling barely audible into the space of my shoulder and my cleavage.

"Welcome home, puppy. I’ve missed you so much."

I didn’t say anything back. What was I supposed to say?

I just sat there, not rejecting him, but not holding him back. Like a doll.

A lifeless doll he owned.

He finally broke the embrace to look at me with redden eyes as if trying to catch my gaze, despite my eyes looking directly into his.

"I am sorry. I—"

His words broke. I was grateful that he shut up—

But like all good things regarding Emiliano, it didn’t last long enough.

"Look, puppy, I— I am not great at this thing, but I truly love you. The most I could... in the way I could, I—I will learn. I will do anything. Just... don’t leave me anymore, Luther! I thought I was going to lose my mind!"

"Thought I was useless to you now."

I didn’t mean what I’ve said. I honestly just blurred it out. But I enjoyed what it provoked.

I enjoyed him looking hurt. As if finally the consequences of his actions caught up to him.

His golden eyes filled with tears. Such an eerie sight to see a god crying.

And this was the second time he shed tears in front of me. I felt somehow satisfied. Like a fool... hanging by his every action.

"No, no, no, no... I— Puppy, my love, I— I can’t live without you."

"Why didn’t you die then? You are the one who told me that we were divorced. You let me go!"

"Luther."

His tone, disheveled and raw, dropped low as the threat of my own name echoed into the humid air.

I could feel a drip of sweat slowly lingering down my spine. Or it could have been a droplet of rain. The effect was all the same—

I gulped.

He noticed immediately.

Of course he did. You can’t end up as powerful as him if you don’t have an eye for details— for weaknesses.

I admit I spoke harshly. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, but he had enough people around to use in the mind games he was playing with me.

I should have been more careful. Yet, I can’t.

Just looking at him makes my stomach twist in disgust and regret.

Shame.

Shame that I feel regret for not handling the toxic, unhealthy, pathetic thing we had in another manner. Shame that I am aching for a different ending for us.

Utter, undeniable shame.

I couldn’t bring myself to apologize to make my situation easier. Half-excuses wouldn’t work with Emiliano anyway.

So I found myself mumbling to no one in particular.

"I’m cold."

At my mere discomfort that would have made him smirk at the start of our association, he now panicked like a child caught stealing a candy.

With a panting breath, as if scared I would be displeased and run away again, he threw me on his shoulder like I weighed as much as a sack of potatoes and walked me into his new home.

I bitterly smiled to myself. Why was he so terrified of losing me?

All he needed to do was pull on my leash and I would come to him like a dog to its master.

Every

Single

Time.