TL/Editor: looloo

    Status: ongoing

    Illustrations: posted in discord

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    It happened.

    A child of Yeonho and mine was in my womb.

    Who could understand the joy that overwhelmed me when I received confirmation of this fact?

    I also knew.

    We were still only twenty years old.

    How challenging it would be if we recklessly had a child like this. How much criticism we would face from others.

    Despite knowing that, I had accepted Yeonho on what I claimed was a safe day.

    If a child could be conceived even with that tiny, minuscule chance.

    If proof of our love could come into being.

    If it could create a visible attachment that would prevent Yeonho from easily throwing his life away for another life again, as he had in his previous life. Something that would make him unable to carelessly risk his life.

    If it could reduce that endless possibility of despair, even just a little.

    Yes, if only that could happen.

    I could endure any judgmental looks or hardships.

    Though I felt sorry for Yeonho, who would have to endure it with me.

    It was purely, entirely my selfish desire.

    Although it was a pregnancy born of such self-interest, I loved Sarang just as much as Yeonho did. Even though I couldn''t feel any movement yet, she was already so precious and lovable.

    Also, when the doctor let us hear the baby''s heartbeat.

    Tears streamed down my face. I couldn''t help it. The evidence of life inside me felt so incredibly real.

    I burst into sobs soon after.

    This was our baby.

    Something we couldn''t see before. Something Yeonho surely would have seen back then too, if he had survived.

    Ours, Yeonho''s, mine.

    A baby.

    ---

    Raei Translations

    ---

    Thankfully, although Yeonho was surprised that we were having a baby, he never once suggested getting rid of it. I was grateful that he seemed to consider it without even thinking about that, worrying about our future instead.

    Of course, I had expected Yeonho would be like that, but still.

    "Sarang."

    "Hm?"

    "How about we use ''Sarang'' as our baby''s prenatal name?"

    "If you like it, that''s fine with me. But isn''t it a bit common?"

    "I don''t care if it''s common or not... How should I put it. It''s just so lovable. You, Yeonho, and our baby too. That''s the only thing I can think of."

    "Let''s go with that, then."

    And so we decided on ''Sarang'' as our baby''s prenatal name. There wasn''t any special meaning or significance to it. It was just that nothing else came to mind.

    It felt like my love for Yeonho had manifested in this world.

    "Our Sarang, you have to stay still and not hurt Mommy, okay? Got it?"

    "...Hehe... Mommy... Yeah. I''m a mom now, aren''t I?"

    "That''s right, Sarang''s mom."

    "I love that... I love it so much, Sarang''s dad."

    Yes. We were now Sarang''s mom and dad. I will give all my love.

    To Yeonho, and to our Sarang.

    ---

    Raei Translations

    ---

    Together with Yeonho, we confessed to our parents about the pregnancy. While they didn''t simply blame us for our reckless actions, they seemed to have a lot to worry about in various ways.

    What could I say here?

    If there was a sinner in this situation, it was me alone.

    "That''s enough. Don''t I know our kid? When that girl says she wants to do something, how could you refuse?"

    I couldn''t make a single excuse to Mom, who was clearly saying the cause lay with me, not Yeonho.

    Meanwhile, I was relieved that even our parents were considering having the baby as a premise for their concerns. As long as they didn''t tell us to get rid of the child, I could endure any criticism or punishment. I had the confidence to bear it all.

    It didn''t matter that we couldn''t have a wedding ceremony before Jeongwoo oppa''s. Of course, I wanted to if we had the chance, but it was fine even if we didn''t.

    That wasn''t what was important. The only thing that mattered was being together with Yeonho and Sarang.

    "Then we''ll just register the marriage... We''ll have to move out of the room too. Actually, this works out well. Heena, you can use your old room again, and Yeonho should go back home to focus on his college entrance exam until then."

    But this, I couldn''t accept.

    Yeonho moving away from me.

    "Can''t Yeonho stay with me too? Or I could go with him...!"

    The moment I heard Mom''s words, my mind went blank. Going back home was fine. Or even staying at Yeonho''s house.

    As long as Yeonho was by my side, I''d be okay anywhere.

    "Lee Heena! Is this the time to be stubborn?!"

    Mom raised her voice, but I couldn''t give in. This wasn''t stubbornness, it was something that absolutely had to happen.

    Yeonho, at least Yeonho, has to stay by my side!

    Absolutely!

    From then on, I couldn''t see anything else. For the first time in my life, I fought with Mom, raising my voice. At that moment, I didn''t care that my in-laws were watching, or that Yeonho was right there.

    I truly couldn''t live without Yeonho by my side.

    When Mom finally tried to drag me away.

    "No!!"

    "Are you going to get up or not?! How long are you going to embarrass yourself in front of your in-laws..."

    Drip, drip. My emotions were out of control. The only thing on my mind was wanting to be with Yeonho.

    I know I did something stupid and immature, but.

    Please understand.

    "N-no... *sob*... I, without Yeonho... *wail*... I can''t..."

    I can''t be without Yeonho.

    Don''t take Yeonho away from me.

    Don''t make him drift away from me.

    "*hiccup*... I won''t let go! *sob*... *waaaah*..."

    Please, I''m begging you.

    I don''t care about anything else.

    But this anxiety was genuine. Yeonho is too handsome, kind, and gentle.

    He''ll surely be popular among the girls in his year. In places where my eyes can''t reach, with girls I don''t know, with the cute type of girl he likes.

    Imagining him smiling brightly at them like he does to me made my heart feel like it was being torn apart. Even when he was working at the cafe, I got upset just seeing him smile at customers.

    I was already anxious about the first semester he would spend alone without me.

    I wanted to lock him up at home, college be damned.

    Besides that.

    "Nooo!! Don''t gooo!!"

    "Let''s just take a quick walk~ It''ll only take about 30 minutes to go around the neighborhood?"

    "I''m going too!!"

    "Oh geez... I''m sorry, son-in-law."

    "It''s alright. Heena, come here. I''ll hold you."

    "You won''t leave me behind...?"

    "Where would I go? Come on, I''ll hold you."

    "Okay..."

    I absolutely couldn''t tolerate being separated from him.

    He could do anything else, but leaving me behind was absolutely not allowed.

    He has to stay by my side.

    A husband can''t leave his wife behind.

    The pager Yeonho got me for this reason was truly a token of love itself. No matter what he was doing, whenever I pressed it, he would fly to my side.

    Thank you. For always putting up with my tantrums.

    ---

    Raei Translations

    ---

    After months of relying on Yeonho''s gentleness and acting spoiled like that, I was admitted to the hospital early as the due date approached.

    The constant contractions were a bit tough, but it wasn''t to the point where I needed to be hospitalized so early. Still, they were doing it out of concern for me, so I followed without complaint.

    Of course, Yeonho came with me and took care of me at the hospital too.

    A few days later.

    As I had sensed, the contractions started in the early morning. Crying and screaming from pain incomparable to anything before, I called for Yeonho.

    "*sob*... Ye-Yeonho... Are you there?"

    "Yeah, I''m right here. I''m holding your hand tightly, see?"

    "Stay, stay with me..."

    "I''m not going anywhere. Never."

    "Ugh...!!"

    I heard his voice in my ear. That was enough. The pain didn''t lessen, but as long as Yeonho was by my side, I could endure it.

    His strong grip crushing my hand, as if he was anxious too.

    "Later, let''s revisit all the places we went on dates with Sarang. The three of us together."

    "Or we could take Heeseong hyung and Yoonjung noona too, since they''re pitiful."

    "Sometimes it seems like they want to see Sarang even more than we do. Right?"

    "Going on another hot spring trip would be nice too. But I wonder if it''d be too hot for Sarang?"

    "I''ll be by your side. I''ll stay by your side forever."

    "Just a little more, just hang in there a little longer, Heena."

    "I love you."

    With his gentle voice whispering in my ear.

    With his words looking towards our future as three.

    Even though it hurt like hell.

    I could still bear it.

    This level of pain was nothing. Though I was screaming from the pain, it wasn''t something I couldn''t endure if Yeonho was there with me.

    I had experienced even greater physical pain, and emotional pain too.

    Finally.

    "Waah!!"

    When I started to hear the baby''s cry.

    Though my body was in terrible shape, I wanted to see Yeonho''s face more than anyone else''s.

    "Our... Sarang, she came out well...?"

    "Yeah... They say she''s very healthy. How about you? Are you in pain anywhere?"

    "I''m okay... *sob*, Sarang... I want to see our Sarang..."

    And after confirming once again that Yeonho was beside me, I asked for our baby.

    "She''s so, so beautiful... *hiccup*... Sarang, you''re so beautiful... She looks just like you, Yeonho..."

    "She looks more like you than me."

    "*sob*... No way..."

    "I''m telling you she does."

    Our baby, Sarang, who the nurse showed me, was truly angelic. I could tell at a glance that she was mine and Yeonho''s child.

    Though she was wrinkly and tiny, I could still see the resemblance to Yeonho.

    And when Sarang was placed on my belly, feeling the warmth and heartbeat through my stomach.

    Tears flowed, I was moved, and I could once again deeply realize that this was the baby I had given birth to.

    Even though I was disoriented and extremely dizzy from crying and screaming so much, I clearly recognized one thing.

    We were now no longer two, but.

    A family of three.

    ---

    Raei Translations

    ---

    I was sorry to everyone for my selfish anxiety, stubbornness, and irresponsible actions that I couldn''t have imagined before.

    To our families who have to support us, to Sarang who came to us too early because of her foolish mother. To Yeonho, who has to take this troublesome woman with him for life.

    It feels like I''ve only been causing you trouble lately, instead of taking care of you.

    But I''ll try my best from now on.

    As your wife, as Sarang''s mother.

    I''ll really do my very best.

    I''m sorry.

    And thank you.

    I''ll love you until I die.

    Please stay by my side.

    I love you, Yeonho.

    And welcome, Sarang.