CHAPTER 80: – BUT I AM YOUR MOTHER –

Nikolas paced around the room. Three days now, and they hadn’t been able to get anywhere with his mother. He’d even misplaced his phone amidst all these, and he wondered how Viviana was doing.

She was probably worried.

But he was going to go back to her. he just need to—

Loredana walked into the living room. She seemed paler than usual. And even though she held a soft smile, that sadness in her eyes were still bright as usual. And he hated it.

To see his own mother this way.

"Mom."

"Where is Lucian?" Loredana asked.

"He’s trying to contact Francesca. His phone lost connection."

"I see." She nodded. "Could you call him? I’d like to speak to you bo—"

"Dammit, I’m unable to get an effing connection. What is going on?" Lucian barged into the level room, fixing the glasses on the bridge of his nose.

He lifted his blue gaze at the quietness of the room only to find his mother and his twin staring at him. "Mom..." he mumbled.

Loredana offered him a smile. She clasped her hands in front of her, sighing deeply. "I’ve taken these past few days to properly think. And um..."

The two men stared at her. Nikolas shook where he stood. "Mom, I—"

"Let me speak, Niko." She lifted a hand, cutting him off. Her eyes flickered. "I’ve made some reflections and it would not be wrong to say, I am not happy. I haven’t been. Not since the very day I lost the man I loved. I didn’t even get to see him in his last days, and how long has it been? Hundred and thirty one? You two were far too little then. Fourteen?" She laughed softly, but bitterly.

"I miss him," she said, smiling fondly. "I miss dancing with your father. The last time I ever danced was with him. And everyday I wake up...I miss everything about him. And it’d only make me afraid. "

Loredana took a deep breath. "I have been afraid, and worried for you both. But I have it the wrong way. I never should’ve allowed my worries, fears to lead your lives. It is up to either of you to be with a human, despite the risk and the heartbreaks that come with it. And maybe I’m just not the best mother out there. Maybe I’m not—"

Nikolas was in her face in a mere second, grabbing and pulling her into a hug. "No." He shook his head, hugging her tightly like she could disappear under his fingers if he didn’t. "Don’t say that."

Loredana flickered her eyes.

"In every anger I’ve felt, in every irritation, disappointment, never once have I looked at you and thought you were a bad mother. Neither of us ever had. You were a mother and a father to use, so please...don’t say that." His voice was trembling, rough like he’d swallowed saw dust. "I could have been better. I could have done better. But... I never should have hidden it from you, no matter what. You’re my mother and I don’t know what I was even thinking. I’m sorry... I’m sorry."

"Nikolas..." Loredana let out a soft breath.

Lucian who’d walked over, grabbed her hand, resting his cheek in his palms. "I’m sorry too. It’s partially my fault. We could have done better and... I’m really sorry, mother."

She chuckled. "You two idiots." She pulled back to stare at them, lifting her free hand to cup Nikolas’s chin. "It’s not your fault. I could’ve explained myself even a little better. That would have made things better than it worked out today. And I’m sorry for that."

Nikolas sighed, his chest burning with guilt. "Mom."

"Do you really love her?" Loredana asked.

He slowly nodded at her. "I do. And I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone this way. I feel like I can’t breathe without her. And the thought of not ending up by her side always and in the end...it stabs me and makes me want to puke from so much nausea."

Loredana slowly blinked at him. Her lips curled before she cackled a bit, smiling with a soft kind of happiness spreading on her face. "I’d been worried about you, boy."

Lucian raised a brow. "Why?"

She glanced at him. "While you were married, your brother was pathetically lonely. I feared he may never be able to find his mate. That he may never be able to fall in love. Even though it’s a human which I still feel a bit kind of way about...I am happy you were able to love someone. That your heart is no longer empty. And that you’re no longer chasing a mate who may not exist anymore, and even if she did, might be out there, happy with her own fate. It’s a relief."

Nikolas held her hand. "Then will you at least give her a chance?" he pleaded. "What happened with our father was in the past. This human is different. She’s...she makes me feel alive. And I haven’t felt truly alive since I woke up. Not until I met her."

Lucian chirped in. "You felt like this with Francesca, mom, but she turned out to be great and now you love her. You should give this one a chance to. Nikolas’s happiness is on the line, ya know."

Loredana blew out a soft breath. "I already made up my mind to, however—" Her gaze grew stern."—If she ever hurts you, I won’t let her get away with it."

"Mom!—"

"I mean it." She glared. "No one hurts my family and gets away with it. I won’t let it happen a second time. So unless you truly believe in this human, don’t bother asking me to try."

"You’ll love her as much as you’ve come to love Francesca," Nikolas said. "I promise you that."

"Well then, I look forward to it." Loredana turned away from them to take a seat.

Lucian asked, "Is this you saying...you’re not going to skin us alive?"

She scrunched her face at them. "What is that supposed to mean?"

The two men glanced at each other and breathed out in relief. Their mother was one of, if not the current strongest vampire to exist, so much that neither of them even at the peak of their strength could take her on.

"Jeez, I was afraid for nothing," Lucian gulped.

Loredana raised a brow. "Afraid of what? Me? But I’m your mother."

"Yeah, but you’re frightening too. That was the first time we’ve ever saw you cry. And you often look so mean. And I mean really mean." He moved to stand behind Nikolas.

Nikolas glared at him. "Lucian, don’t you even—"

Loredana was in their faces in the flash of a light, pulling at Lucian’s ear. Nikolas proceeded to laugh, only to end up hissing as she grabbed him too.

"You two haven’t even paid yet for hiding something this big from me. Missing my own son’s wedding. You two are dead. But I’m suddenly in a good mood. So consider today, Christmas."

Luciana grunted. "It was Nikolas who made me lie!"

"Fuck you, Lucian!" Nikolas snapped at him.

"Shut up, you two!" she snapped at the both of them and they immediately went silent. "And you, Nikolas, bring your wife someday when everything is settled. I would like to get to know her, alright."

"Yes, ma’am."

"And you!" she snarled at Lucian. "Why haven’t you brought my grandchild over to visit me, huh?"

"Mom, I Just...I forgot. There are so many—"

"You should do better, Lucian," Nikolas instigated. "I wouldn’t do that to our mother. Robbing her of the joy of being with her grandchild. You’re wicked."

Lucian swung at him. "I will bury you alive!"

Nikolas gladly punched him back.

Loredana pinched between her brows, shaking her head at their behaviour. She breathed out, smiling as she turned away.