CHAPTER 93: – DON’T LEAVE ME –

Nikolas shook his head, lowering his gaze to the floor. "I can’t. I can’t let you go. Viviana, I can’t. You don’t understand what you do to me. I feel like I can breathe. Please. At least let me explain myself. I-I can explain. I can—"

"Explain what?" Viviana raised a brow at him. "How I’ve looked like nothing but a fool in your eyes all the time?"

She laughed humourlessly. "I bet when you looked at me, you thought, how stupid she is. From start to finish, you’ve been watching a show all along. My family, me, all just a funny TV show to you, weren’t we? I was like a clown, wasn’t I? Amusing, entertaining to fill your boring life. I mean, it all made sense. Why in the world would a man like you marry a woman he didn’t know, let alone let her use you?"

She ran her fingers through her hair, puffing out a soft breath.

"Did you have fun?"

"Viviana, no, this is not—it’s nothing like that. I never thought you were an amusement or that you were—"

"Of course you did." She smiled at him. "And congratulations. You’ve messed around with Amadeo Di-grassi’s daughter. You’ve played me around like a fool, but it is my fault. If I hadn’t asked you a chance that night, none of this would have happened. I mean, such a sudden marriage like that to someone I’ve only just met, it was stupid regardless of how desperate I’d been that night. My mother warned me too, every instinct told me to never trust a man, not the words coming out of your mouth, the lies you speak as if it were true."

She swallowed down the lump in her throat.

"I’m just a naive woman who’s never truly been loved, a woman who has never been with a man, not even once experienced what it’s like to date, so I get it. I was far too easy to play. You did well. But it’s over. It ends here and you won’t get the chance to do it again. I’ll process the divorce papers and I will have it sent over to you. I don’t ever want to see your face again, Nikolas. I detest you."

She shoved past him with her suitcase to leave through the door. But then she heard a thud. A pair of arms wrapped around her waist, warmth settling in the curve of her back.

"I’m sorry..." Nikolas said, voice trembling like she’d never heard it before. "I don’t have any excuse for lying to you, but I...but I had my reasons."

She glanced over her shoulders. The man was on his knees, grabbing hold of her, unwilling to let go.

"Take your hands off me, Nikolas."

"Viviana, you can’t leave me—"

"LET GO OF ME!" she yelled at him. But he refused. He held back.

Rage boiled inside of her, so much she felt she could explode. "Let go of me!" she demanded, now struggling to get away from me. "Let go of me! Let go! Take your hands off me. Nikolas, let go of—URGH!"

She slipped in the midst of her struggle, falling back into him. Nikolas, who’d landed on the floor on his bum, caught her, wrapping his arms around her. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and Viviana immediately froze.

She felt a hot liquid spread over her skin. It couldn’t be...

The man was... He was...

Crying?

Nikolas?

"Don’t leave me, please," Nikolas begged, holding her tighter, like he could die if she left. "I know what I’ve done is worth hating me, but I did it because you didn’t want what I was. From the mo—" He breathed, his tousled hair rubbing over the skin of her shoulder. "—From the moment I met you, I ached to know you. Seeing you, everything about you interested me, the way you spoke, the way you walked, even your hot and cold moods. The warmth of your hand. I felt this thug in my chest that made me want to stay, to stay by your side even though I had no idea why."

He sniffled into her shoulder. "You didn’t want a wealthy man. You hated them, but I wanted to stand by your side, even if it was until I figured out why you made my heart race, why I loved the littlest of your warmth. Why I craved your touch when it was gone. Why I missed your voice, your presence everyday when you left, I wanted to figure all these things out. So I had to lie. I had to pretend I was a nobody and I hated every moment that I couldn’t tell you the truth. I know you won’t believe me, but it’s the truth. I was afraid, scared to lose you."

His hold grew tighter like he would gum her warmth to his if he could.

"I knew you would never accept what I was. I knew I’d be a monster in your eyes when you find out that I’m not human, but I stayed. I tried to leave, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t imagine a moment without you, and the simple thought of it made my heart feel tortured. I tried Viviana. I tried to be human for you, I tried to figure out ways to be human even if it’s simply just for you. But no matter how hard I tried, no matter where I looked, there was no way that could turn me into one. There was nothing that could change me. This is what I am, and...and I’m sorry that I can’t be what you need. I couldn’t be human enough. Please..."

Viviana’s eyes blinked rapidly, blank and pointed to the intertwinement of their body seated on that floor. "Nikolas—"

"I can’t breathe, Viviana. This is killing me. I haven’t felt alive in so many years, not even when I woke up. And the very first night I met you, it was different. You made me feel alive, my soul breathed. All because of you, and maybe that’s why I wanted to be with you so much that before I knew it I found myself falling in love with you to the extent I couldn’t control it anymore, not the way I felt, nor how fast my heart beat. You don’t...you don’t have to believe me, but stay. Please stay. Don’t leave me. I love you."