CHAPTER 30: CHAPTER 30: I CAN’T BEAR YOUR LOVE

When Renee Winslow was born, her dad had just turned twenty. Her dad’s birthday was the day before hers, while her mom was only eighteen, just like Renee’s current age, perhaps seven or eight months older.

At that time, her parents weren’t of legal age to marry, so naturally, they didn’t get married, not even a wedding banquet.

Her parents met while playing online games. When they first met, her dad was seventeen, and her mom was fifteen. Her mom was still attending a vocational high school back then. Two years later, they met in real life, and her mom moved in with her dad at her grandparents’ place where they worked in Riverfall City, in a shabby rented room under Riverfall Bridge.

At eighteen, both young and full of hormones, living together every day, it didn’t take long before her mom got pregnant.

In the early stages of her pregnancy, her mother didn’t notice any symptoms, so she didn’t think much of it. By the time she realized something was wrong, she was already more than four months pregnant.

Upon hearing the news, her grandmother on her mother’s side rushed to their house to demand a dowry from her paternal grandmother. It wasn’t out of concern for her mother or to seek justice for her, but purely to demand a dowry, fifty thousand yuan.

Her paternal grandmother thought the amount was too much, and she refused. The two sides haggled fiercely, and in the end, the negotiations shattered.

Her paternal grandmother wouldn’t give a penny and even kicked her mom out, and by then her mother was six months pregnant.

During this time, her dad acted like an outsider, unaffected, even blaming her mother for causing unnecessary trouble with her pregnancy, growing impatient and beginning to despise her mother.

And her mother was so young, completely clueless about how to handle the situation, resorting only to crying.

Eventually, her mother was taken back by her grandmother on her mother’s side, and over a month later she gave birth prematurely. Three days after Renee was born, her grandmother took her to her paternal grandmother’s house and left her there.

Although her paternal grandmother disliked her mother, Renee was still her dad’s child, his blood coursed through her veins, making her her paternal grandmother’s legitimate granddaughter. Her paternal grandmother took her in and raised her.

Surviving was a miracle in itself.

And her dad, devoid of any sense of parental responsibility, never showed even a speck of fatherly love for Renee as far back as she could remember.

When Renee was five, her dad got officially married; technically his first wife, but to Renee, it felt like the second since she always considered her mom his first, despite not being legally married or having a wedding, since her mom gave birth to her and was her biological mother.

Her father lived with his wife for three years without having any children. The woman eventually left, calling him a perpetual man-child, unwilling to bear his children. Renee thought the woman was smart for knowing when to cut losses.

He remained single for two years, and at age thirty, he married his current wife, whom he met on a dating site. Initially, they didn’t get legally married or hold a wedding. Three years later, when this stepmother became pregnant, they finally registered their marriage.

Half a year after giving birth, the stepmother convinced her paternal grandparents to pay the down payment for a two-bedroom apartment in the county. Initially, they had said just the down payment was needed and the couple would handle the mortgage themselves.

In the end, they couldn’t even manage the first month’s mortgage. Her grandfather had to take care of it, and the renovations were also covered by her paternal grandparents, blowing through the little savings they had accumulated through frugal living.

After draining her grandparents’ savings, her stepmother borrowed money from her own family to set up a shop downstairs selling cigarettes, alcohol, bottled water, drinks, and popsicles. Her over-thirty-year-old father sat in the shop all day, playing games.

The stepmother was at least a little industrious, working at a hotpot restaurant in the county, but her monthly earnings couldn’t cover even her expenses.

Thus, the mortgage entirely fell on her grandfather’s shoulders.

Her grandfather, over sixty years old, still worked construction, pinching pennies to save every possible penny, earning his money through hard labor, all funneled into her father.

And her father, blind to her grandfather’s hardships, complacently lived life as a waste.

During her third year of high school, her dad’s new family moved into the new house, and her grandmother joined to help with childcare. She became the surplus person.

When she visited her dad, she usually left straight after lunch, returning to school. During winter and summer vacations, she slept on the couch in the living room, or sometimes laid a mat on the floor in her grandparents’ room.

During the day, she cared for the child, washed clothes, did the dishes, and cleaned the floors like a live-in maid. No, not even like a maid, because at least maids get paid. She didn’t, and faced sarcasm from her stepmother about having an extra mouth to feed, exceeding the budget.

But she only ate half a bowl of rice at meals, not daring to take much of the dishes. How much could she possibly consume?

Also, while staying at home, she did all the dishes, cleaned, washed clothes for her brother, and even washed her dad’s and stepmother’s underwear, socks, including the stepmother’s lingerie. These tasks equated to paying for her meals.

Throughout high school, she received a scholarship and poverty grants each year, barely costing her family anything. In college, she continued to receive scholarships, grants, and had student loans. She even worked part-time for pocket money, fully self-reliant financially.

Because of her cold, uncaring, broken family, she wandered like a stray dog, without a proper place to stay. This was why, when Caleb Yates wanted to take her back to the Yates Family during her summer break in her freshman year, she half-heartedly agreed. Otherwise, she would never casually go to a guy’s house.

With the painful lesson from her mom’s experience, she never thought of dating early, much less cohabiting with anyone.

But reality was harsh; she ended up following in her mom’s footsteps, living with a man at eighteen. Despite being a coerced, unwilling act, the outcome was the same. All she could do was ensure she didn’t fall for Jack Yates, and definitely don’t end up pregnant out of wedlock.

The plane soared into the sky, slicing through brilliant clouds.

Renee lay her head gently on Jack’s shoulder, looking out the window with clarity, her heart even clearer than her gaze.

Jack touched her head, speaking indulgently, "Sleep, we’ll be there when you wake."

Renee turned to look at him, giving a small smile, "Thank you, Third Brother."

Jack lowered his head and kissed her, his voice low, "Don’t tease me on the plane."

Renee wrapped her arms around his, opened her mouth and bit lightly on his tensed bicep, and laughed softly against his shoulder.

Jack wrapped an arm around her waist, fingers tightening, voice deeper, "Are you sleeping or not?"

Renee immediately released him, closing her eyes tightly, "Sleep, I’m very tired, don’t disturb me."

Jack restrained himself from touching her, not wanting to put himself in a state of constant potential loss of control. This could frighten her and make him despise himself, but more importantly, he didn’t want her to look down on him.

By the time Renee woke, the plane was gradually descending.

Jack cocooned her with a cashmere blanket to spare her from turbulence, holding her tightly in his embrace.

As her eyes opened, Jack gently patted her back, kissed her forehead tenderly, and softly comforted her, "Don’t worry, the plane is about to land."

In this moment, a warm rush filled Renee’s heart, softening it completely, experiencing a love she never had before, a feeling transcending romantic love, akin to paternal affection, something she never felt from Jack.

"Jack." Her nose tingled, hands holding tightly to his arm, eyes moist as she looked at him, her voice breaking, "Don’t treat me this well, don’t be this gentle; stay as you were, stern, cold, like before."

"Why?" Jack squinted slightly, staring deeply into her eyes, as if trying to see into her very soul.

Renee pressed her lips together, her lashes damp, "I can endure your hate, but not your love; I fear losing everything."