CHAPTER 62: SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO HER

Julian’s POV

Ethan’s couch was starting to feel like home, which was a bad sign. I’d been sprawled there for three days, living off takeout and cheap whiskey. The only sound was the faint buzz of his TV and the occasional curse from him whenever his game lagged.

"Man, are you seriously planning to run away from Catherine forever or just until your balls dry up?" Ethan’s voice cut through.

I didn’t even look up from my glass. "Shut the fuck up."

He laughed, stretching out his legs on the coffee table. "That’s a yes, then."

"It’s a ’mind your business,’" I muttered, finishing what was left in my drink. "And I’m not running from anyone. We literally saw each other in school."

"You mean while she was kissing another dude?" Ethan snorted. "You’ve been camping here for three days, Julian. Don’t bullshit me. If this isn’t running, I don’t know what is."

I turned my head toward him, giving him a flat look. "If you’re looking for a creative way to kick me out of your house, it ain’t working."

He grinned, and I knew the confession was coming. "Actually, you’re not wrong. I am looking for a way to get you out."

I rolled my eyes. "Wow, best friend of the year."

"Don’t blame me," he said, sitting up. "I miss Tessa."

"Then call her," I dropped with a frown.

"I can’t," he said, feigning a wounded expression. "I’ve been keeping her away because you can’t stand it when the two of us are fucking. Gosh, man! You’re basically cramping my sex life."

A dry laugh escaped my lips. "Good. Consider it payback for that time you brought her over without informing me."

He grinned wider. "You shouldn’t have left, that was a good night."

My head in disgust. Ethan could be very shameless at times. "Play your game and leave me alone. You can have your Tessa when I’m gone."

"Exactly my point," he voiced, clapping his hands once. "Leave already. Go face your demons. Because right now, your little stepsister is stealing my peace, and I didn’t sign up for that."

I couldn’t help it but laugh again. "Stop being dramatic."

"Dramatic? Dude, you’re hiding here like a fugitive because the girl you live with has a pretty face, sexy butt, killer shape and an attitude. You’re a walking soap opera."

"Ethan—"

"No, seriously." He leaned forward, and his eyes gleamed with mischief. "You should just talk to her. Have a heart-to-heart. Tell her you’re in love with her."

That made me choke on my drink. "What the fuck did you just say?"

He shrugged, unfazed. "You heard me. Confess. Get it off your chest. You’ll sleep better."

"When the hell did I ever say I’m in love with Catherine?"

"You didn’t have to," he simply replied. "It’s obvious."

I stared at him for a second, then burst into laughter. "You’ve lost your damn mind."

"Have I?" He asked with his stupid grin in place.

"Yes," I said firmly, setting my glass down. "I’m not in love with her."

He raised an eyebrow. "Then what is it?"

For a second, I didn’t answer. The words were stuck somewhere between my throat and my pride. I looked away, rubbing a hand down my face. "It’s not love," I said quietly. "It’s... attraction."

Ethan tilted his head. "Attraction."

"Yeah," I continued. "Sexual attraction. Plain and simple. I want her. I think about her. I imagine..." I trailed off, shaking my head. "But that’s it."

He chuckled under his breath. "That’s it? You say that like it’s not eating you alive."

"Enough. Stop taunting me."

"I’ve seen the way you look at her," he said, pointing at me with his beer. "Like you’re trying not to. You’re worse than a teenager with a crush."

I groaned. "You’re fucking annoying."

"Tell me I’m wrong."

"I’m not going to tell you anything," I said with a flat tone. "I already admitted it, didn’t I? I’m attracted to her. It’s a problem, but it’s not the end of the world."

"Then why are you running from it?"

"I’m not running."

He smirked. "Oh right, you’re just vacationing here indefinitely."

I threw a pillow at him. "Shut up."

He caught it easily, still grinning. "But for real what’s the problem then? Why not go for it? She’s legal, hot, and obviously not indifferent to you. Or you’ve never noticed the way she looks at you?"

I clenched my jaw. "She’s dating Collins."

Ethan made a disgusted face. "Oh, please. Collins? You’re seriously telling me you’re backing off because of him? Fuck that dude!"

"It’s not about him. It’s her," I said quickly, though even to my own ears it sounded weak.

Ethan leaned back. "Remind me, Collins was the same genius who chose to fuck Sasha while you were dating her, right?"

"Ethan," I muttered.

"Don’t Ethan me. Is Catherine the one making you this soft? Come on, where’s the Julian I know?"

"I don’t know what you are talking about. I’m still me," I snapped.

Ethan laughed, not buying it. "Still you? Julian Vaughn, the guy who once said ’love is for idiots,’ suddenly found morality. What a plot twist."

I exhaled slowly, staring at the whiskey bottle on the table. "Love is still for idiots. And avoiding trouble doesn’t mean I found morality. You don’t just get it."

"Then make me."

I hesitated, then said quietly, "If I touch her, it complicates everything. She’s not just some girl I can fool around with. She’s..."

"Your stepsister?" Ethan finished for me with a smirk.

I shot him a glare. "Don’t make it sound worse than it is."

He chuckled. "I’m just saying it like it is."

I ran a hand through my hair, the tension creeping back into my shoulders. "It’s not even about that. This whole thing is temporary. Her mother and she won’t be in our house for long anyway. Once I’m done with my dad, once I’ve made him pay for everything, they’ll both be out. And I’ll move on. This attraction crap will fade."

Ethan gave me a long, unimpressed look. "You keep saying that like you believe it."

"I do," I said firmly.

"No, you don’t."

I sighed, leaning back into the couch. "Look, I know what I’m doing. Getting involved with her would ruin everything. The plan, the balance, my sanity. She’s a vital part of the game."

Ethan raised an eyebrow. "And having a little fun won’t kill the game. Take control. Have her if you want her that badly."

I looked at him sharply. "No."

"You won’t be able to cope for months. One look at that girl and you’re done. You’re obsessed. You can’t easily get rid of the love or whatever it is you feel for her."

I scoffed, even though his words hit too close. "You’re full of shit."

"If you think so. And if you really believe you can just ’do away with your attraction’ like you said, you’re lying to yourself." He shrugged. "But if pretending helps you sleep at night, go ahead."

I poured another drink, letting the burn hit my throat before answering. "I’m not pretending."

"Sure," he said easily. "And I’m the Pope."

I didn’t respond. The silence stretched, filled only by the clink of the glass against the table.

Ethan sighed after a while and stood up. "Look, man, I get it. You’ve got your revenge plan, your daddy issues, your rules. But you’re still human. So if you want her, just want her. No need to make it strategic."

I smirked faintly.

He started toward his bedroom, muttering, "And for the love of God, find another couch. Tessa’s coming over tomorrow, I’m not going to let you restrain my dick from a little exercise."

Dang! This was the reason he kept pushing the "go and have fun with Catherine" talk.

I flipped him off as he walked away, and a quiet laugh escaped me.