"The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion."

— Albert Camus

--

Hikari bounced back, still smiling.

Hiruzen exhaled slowly, letting the pipe dangle from his lips as smoke curled toward the cracked ceiling. For a moment, he didn't look like the Hokage at all—just a weary grandfather wondering if he'd left the stove on, or maybe regretting a lifetime of poor life choices.

Hikari leaned lazily against his desk, swinging her leg with a smug grin.

"You're enjoying this too much," Hiruzen said, narrowing his eyes.

"Of course I am. Do you know how long I've been waiting to slap that rat's face? His jaw cracked like cheap pottery. Very therapeutic." She flexed her hand. "Worth the sting."

Hiruzen rubbed his temples. "Therapeutic, maybe. Suicidal, definitely. You humiliated Danzo in front of his Root. He'll double his schemes against you."

"Let him try." She shrugged. "I'll slap him again. Harder next time. Call it therapy for his rotting brain."

That drew a sharp laugh from the old man before he coughed into his fist. "You can't solve everything by slapping people, Hikari."

She leaned in, eyes glinting. "Old man, you'd be surprised how many problems can be solved that way. Imagine—council meeting, two hours of bickering, then smack—Homura silent. Instant progress."

The image made his shoulders shake.

Before he could retort, two ANBU appeared in a blur.

"Hokage-sama," one reported, "the entire village felt that surge. Civilians are panicking."

"Tell them it was a training accident," Hiruzen said, puffing smoke.

The ANBU hesitated. "…A training accident cracked your office ceiling and triggered alarms?"

"Yes," Hiruzen said flatly. "Do you have a problem with my narrative?"

"…No, Hokage-sama." They vanished.

Hikari smirked. "That's your cover story?"

"Would you prefer 'young woman slaps paranoid war hawk unconscious and nearly murders half his squad'? Doesn't sound diplomatic."

"I think it sounds perfect," she grinned. "Put it in the newsletter."

Hiruzen just exhaled toward the cracked ceiling. For a moment, he looked less like the Hokage and more like a tired old man trapped in a circus.

"Honestly," he muttered, "this village gives me wrinkles faster than tobacco ever could."

"You're irresponsible," Hikari shot back, plopping into a chair like an empress. "You let that cockroach run a private army, spy on people like some paranoid ex-boyfriend, and you call me reckless?"

The Hokage's pipe clinked softly into the ashtray. "Paranoid ex-boyfriend?"

"Tell me I'm wrong."

For once, he didn't answer. Just rubbed his nose in silence.

Hiruzen exhaled through his nose, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"You're lucky I like you."

Hikari leaned back lazily, smirking.

"Oh, please. Everyone likes me—they're just too scared to admit it."

Outside, ANBU still whispered about the killing intent that nearly crushed the village. Some swore they felt the Shinigami breathing down their necks. Others wondered how Hikari could go from demon-goddess to spoiled daughter demanding wedding gifts in minutes.

Inside, Hiruzen tapped his desk. "This weapon you want… why exactly do you need it?"

"Because wars are boring unless you get new toys," she said, twirling an invisible baton in her fingers. "And old men like you have no imagination. You'd probably just bring a stick and call it a day."

He raised an eyebrow. "You almost sound like Jiraiya at a new bathhouse."

"Don't you dare compare me to that pervert."

"Just saying—the enthusiasm matches," he said dryly.

"If you don't want me to bring Danzō's head here as a wedding gift," she said sweetly, "you'll get me that weapon."

"You're not marrying Danzo, thankfully."

"Ugh. Old men ruin everything. Seriously, if he even looks at me funny, I'll carve a smile into his face with my kunai. Wedding gift or not."

Hiruzen chuckled, shaking his head. "It'll be ready in a week. Though why a bride needs a weapon of that caliber on her wedding day is beyond me. Normally, they just get flowers and dowries, not tools for killing."

"Because when you've survived as many assassination attempts as I have, you don't walk into marriage unarmed. That's just common sense."

"…Of course," Hiruzen said dryly.

She beamed and hugged him again, squeezing him until his pipe almost fell.

"You're the best!"

"Yes, yes. Now go. Some of us still have a village to run."

She smirked at the door. "Careful, old man. Keep stressing like this and people will start mistaking you for Danzō."

The Hokage nearly choked. "That is the cruelest thing anyone has ever said to me."

Hikari winked and left, her grin sharper than steel.

Outside, whispers followed her through the tower. Fear, awe, gossip. Looking at the sky over Konoha, she felt the village's serpentine nature beneath its peace. Cracks were forming and old grudges simmered.

Her grin widened. Let them simmer. She wasn't going anywhere.

Meanwhile, in a dark underground chamber below Konoha, Danzō's eyes burned with rage.

"She humiliated me," he rasped. His operatives knelt in silence.

"That woman…" His lips curled into a thin, poisonous smile. "She's gonna regret it."

Hiruzen leaned back, staring at the ceiling, and muttered to himself.

"I swear, raising her should be considered an extreme sport."

A soft knock interrupted his thoughts. An ANBU shuffled in, clearly embarrassed. "Hokage-sama… she, uh… might have mentioned… the wedding night… gifts?"

Hiruzen groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "…I am far too old for this village."

(Pic)

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(A/N)

Thanks for reading!

Alright, we've dwelled on the past long enough… time to return to the present and the chaos waiting for Otis.

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