CHAPTER 224: WHAT DISAPPEARS, WHAT REMAINS (2)

He couldn’t remember. Nothing came to mind. When, where, and how... At what point had they become lovers?

Cheon Do-Yoon had captured Ha-Eun, and I used Open Heaven to save her. Then...

And then what? What happened after that?

“Ah...” He pulled his hair and twisted and turned in frustration.

No matter how hard he tried, no matter how far back he traced, the memories of that day had disappeared.

Did I confess to her? Or did she?

He didn’t know. They both knew they liked each other ever since they were kids, but they had grown so used to each other and always hesitated to take that next step.

Ha-Eun and I are lovers?

His head felt like it would split open. A wave of nausea churned through the unbearable displeasure like trying to force broken film strips back together.

“Oh-Jin?” Song Ha-Eun worriedly called out and gently rubbed his back. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Nothing my ass. You look like you just ate fish-head curry.” She scowled at him. “Want me to call a doctor?”

“I’m fine.” He shook his head and steadied his breath.

Cold sweat dripped down his back. The pain of losing his memories felt worse than having his limbs torn apart.

“Ha-Eun.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you like me?”

“W-What?” Startled by the sudden question, Song Ha-Eun practically jumped. “W-What kind of dumbass question is that all of a sudden?!”

Her cheeks turned as red as her hair, and she smacked him in the side. She awkwardly tapped the floor with her feet and dropped her gaze.

“O-Of course I like you. I-I mean... I’m your... your girlfriend, aren’t I?” she muttered in embarrassment beyond belief. Then, she suddenly frowned. “But why are you asking that out of nowhere, huh? Are you trying to make me die from embarrassment?”

She put him in a headlock and furiously ruffled his hair.

“I see.” He had forgotten, but she hadn’t.

She still remembered the day they finally told each other the feelings they had kept hidden for so long. She still remembered the night they held each other close and whispered their love in the dark. She still held onto the memories he could no longer recall. Only she remembered them, and only she would carry them moving forward.

“I’m going out for a bit.”

“Huh? Where?”

“I just need some fresh air.” He shrugged and stood up from the bed.

“Want me to come with you?” she asked.

“No, I’ve got some things I need to think about alone.”

“Hmph. You sound like a moody teenager. Fine, go take your walk.”

“Okay.”

He slipped into the hospital slippers and bolted down the hallway.

Tududududu!

He pushed the elevator button, but it wasn’t coming. Maybe there were too many people waiting.

“Haa, haa!” Breathing hard, he turned toward the emergency stairs.

He flew up the steps as fast as he could. The rooftop door with a heavy lock finally came into view. With a squeeze of his hand, he crushed the lock and threw open the door.

Crack!

“Bleeeeurgh!”

The abalone porridge Isabella had fed him came right back up and dirtied the rooftop.

He slammed the railing and cursed, “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shiiiiit!”

Bang!

“Haa, haa!”

His head spun. It felt like someone had erased a part of his life with a rubber eraser. The broken fragments of his memories refused to connect and tortured him.

“Ah, ugh.”

With a trembling hand, he felt around the left side of his chest where the Stigma of Lyra was engraved and where the Black Heaven slept within.

If I keep using Open Heaven from now on...

Would his very existence eventually disappear? Would he forget everything and everyone until every memory in his life was wiped clean? Would he become something else entirely?

“Haa, haa, haa!”

His hands and feet shook from the terror crashing down on him. His teeth also chattered uncontrollably. He could endure any physical pain and suffering, but this...

“Fuck, fuck!” Tears streamed down his cheeks.

He knew that memory loss was one of Open Heaven’s side effects. Deep down, he had foolishly thought that it would only erase a few of his old memories that would fade away with time anyway. He had hoped that it would be the ones that didn’t really matter.

You idiot.

Self-loathing washed over him.

Kwon Oh-Jin leaned against the railing and slid down to the ground. He hugged his trembling legs, pulled them close, and buried his face between his knees.

I didn’t know.

Until the word ‘lover’ came out of Song Ha-Eun’s mouth, he had completely forgotten they had become a couple.

But...

He never even felt anything strange or awkward. As if it had always been that way, he just naturally forgot about their relationship. Did that mean he wouldn’t even realize what was gone every time he lost a memory from now on?

“What if...”

What if all his memories of Song Ha-Eun disappeared one day? If he lived without even recognizing who she was, he would just carry on thinking that was normal.

His arms, wrapped around his legs, trembled faintly. Just imagining a version of himself who couldn’t remember her and living on like nothing made his stomach churn again.

Can I... really not use Open Heaven in the future?

The Heavenly Demon, a transcendent being who created the Black Stars, would surely come for the Black Heaven within him. Could he really defeat that incredibly powerful entity without using Open Heaven?

No, it wasn’t just the Heavenly Demon. Even Cassia was so powerful that he wouldn’t stand a chance against her without using Open Heaven.

That’s not all.

The real enemies of humanity weren’t even the Black Star Society, but the monsters of the Demonic District. Things had been quiet for now, but could he protect the people he cared about without using Open Heaven if Named monsters returned in full force or the kings ruling the Demonic District came to Earth?

“Ha, haha,”Kwon Oh-Jin laughed dryly.

He knew it all too well. It would be one thing if he had never known about Open Heaven, but he would definitely use it again after tasting its power already.

When that day comes...

The happy, painful, angry, and sad memories would all be erased and forgotten. One by one, all of them would disappear. At the very end...

“No.” The word barely left his mouth as tears streamed down his face and soaked his clothes. “That can’t happen.”

If all of his memories disappeared and he could no longer remember anyone, could he still call that person him? Would he not just become some entirely different person also called Kwon Oh-Jin?

If that happens...

He felt like he couldn’t breathe, and his mind turned blank. A thick, suffocating fear swallowed him whole like poison.

Just then, the pendant around his neck began to glow.

Woong!

Vega burst out of the pendant, floating up and making a fuss.

“My child! I heard from Deneb that you returned safely!” Sensing something unusual, she cocked her head. “Hmm?”

She fluttered over to Kwon Oh-Jin, who was crouched by the railing.

“What’s wrong?” Vega asked.

“It’s nothing.”

“Nonsense. I can clearly see the tear stains. What do you mean, nothing?” Vega asked with a frown, “Are you hurt somewhere?”

“No. I was just recalling some stuff that happened in the Demonic District.”

“I see.” Vega’s expression turned sorrowful as she gently patted his head. “Don’t worry. I’m right here, am I not?”

Kwon Oh-Jin blankly stared at her. “Vega.”

“Hm? What is it?”

“You forgot all your memories from your past life, right?”

“Yes, I did.”

“So, how did you feel the first time we talked? I was the only one who remembered us.”

“Hmm.” Vega crossed her arms in deep thought. After a long silence, she finally said, “At first, I thought you were speaking nonsense.”

“And after that?”

“You said we were... deeply involved in the past, didn’t you? But I have no memory of it. So... I felt strangely empty.”

Empty, huh.

“But now, it’s fine.”

“It’s fine?”

Vega nodded with a gentle smile. “Even if the memories are gone, the things that happened don’t disappear, right?”

Kwon Oh-Jin couldn’t answer because what supposedly happened between them never really happened in the first place.

“Close your eyes for a moment,” Vega said.

“My eyes?”

“Go on.”

At her words, he closed his eyes.

Woong!

A radiant light hummed, and he felt soft arms carefully wrap around him. It wasn’t the arms of a doll-sized figure, but those of an adult woman.

“Vega?”

“Even if you can’t see me, I haven’t disappeared from your side, have I?”

She was right. Even if the memories disappeared, the events that happened would never vanish. Even if he lost all his memories of Song Ha-Eun, she would still be by his side just like now.

But...

Kwon Oh-Jin bit his lip.

Vega genuinely believed the lie he had casually told. Those false memories, a false relationship, and fabricated feelings... She cherished them in her heart, believing they weren’t lost.

What about him? What would happen to him once all his memories disappeared? Would he, too, start to believe in things that never happened as though they truly had?

“What if it never actually happened?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“What if I told you nothing ever happened between us? How would that make you feel?”

“That would be...” Vega trailed off as her eyes trembled. “Very sad and very painful.”

She smiled gently and stroked his head.

“But even so, I don’t think it would matter.”

“It wouldn’t?”

“The person I know isn’t the ‘you’ from a past life. It’s the ‘you’ standing here right now, isn’t it?” Her gentle hands wrapped around him. “The current ‘you’ is the one I love.”

Kwon Oh-Jin could only remain silent.

“A-Ah! L-Love in the familial sense! N-Not as lovers! Y-You’re my child, and I love you as my—”

“Vega.”

The emotions he had been holding back exploded, and a sudden impulse pushed him forward. Without a word, Kwon Oh-Jin pulled Vega into a hug and wept with his head down.

“Hmm?” Vega looked down at him, who was quietly sobbing.

She gently embraced him.

“I don’t know why you’re crying, but...” Her kind hand rubbed his back. “Don’t worry.”

Her voice continued to echo in his head and pushed away the fear torturing him.

“Everything will be alright.” Her soft whisper wrapped around him like a warm, comforting blanket.