Chapter 114

TL: KSD

At some point,

It feels like life has picked up speed.

It’s not speeding up in a good way, but more like time seems to fly by faster than it did when I was younger...

This unsettling sense of speed makes the steering wheel of life feel stiff. Just as it’s hard to change the direction of a fast-moving car, it’s difficult to change the direction of a fast-moving life.

So, inevitably, you end up living the way you always have.

You lose your curiosity, lack the energy to learn new things, and when you realize you’re wrong about something, you just deny it and live quietly day by day.

I don’t know if this kind of habitual life is good or bad, but one thing is certain: turning a stiff steering wheel is hard work.

But sometimes, a big shock suddenly comes and changes your life, and for me, that was a birthday party on a non-birthday.

Since that day, I occasionally have this thought.

‘Is it okay to live like this?’

Of course, as is always the case with a realization that comes out of the blue one day, it will fade after a few days.

Haven’t I said it repeatedly? Turning the wheel of a hardened life is very difficult.

But there was a small change in my life from the recent experience, which was that I started to look around me a little more.

I reduced the number of days I skipped school while claiming to be writing,

I at least sent texts to people around me during the holidays,

I didn’t just gloss over how people close to me were doing, but asked them how they were doing these days...

I tried to change my attitude towards life a bit.

It was through these circumstances that I learned that Ma Ki-hoon’s girlfriend, Moon Hye-jin, was having a tough time preparing for the college entrance exam.

EP 8 – Dark Adaptation

Autumn passed really quickly.

It wasn’t because of the subtle speed of life I mentioned earlier, but simply because of global warming.

In the blink of an eye, it became cold enough to catch a cold if you went out without a coat, and my blanket, which I always carried around, started to come in handy.

Winter approached swiftly.

The newscasters on TV had already started warning us.

「Due to the influence of the Siberian high-pressure system, this winter is expected to have the coldest temperatures in the recent decades...」

As someone who knew that these words would be repeated every winter for the next 10 years or so, I felt a bit strange.

But if God wanted to solve the abnormal weather, it would have been better to throw someone else into the gap of time rather than a literature idiot like me.

How could a novelist who can’t even take care of himself change the world?

Besides, around this time in Korea, there was an issue considered slightly more important than the global climate crisis,

and that was the college entrance exam (CSAT).

“Don’t go to the 4th floor because seniors need to study!”

“Anyone caught chatting in the hallway will get penalty points!”

“Guys, we need to pick people to cheer for the seniors taking the exam, who wants to go?”

Even for the creative writing department at our arts middle school, the end of the year was important. There were final exams, practicals, and various competitions lined up.

Most importantly, wasn’t the Annual Spring Literary Contest the biggest festival in the literary world? Naturally, you had to submit your manuscript by winter. It’s a grueling schedule.

...Of course, I was an exception.

I felt sorry for the second-year students at Baekhak Arts Middle School who had to share the same class with someone who had already made his professional debut.

But no matter how focused on arts Baekhak Arts Middle School was, it couldn’t completely avoid the college entrance exam atmosphere, because even in arts, many admissions required meeting the exam’s cutoff score. The entrance exam was that important.

In a society where status is somewhat replaced by academic background, it’s hard to overstate the importance of the test that determines that background.Fo?llo?w new stories at novelhall.com

The entrance exam isn’t everything in life, but academic background determines a significant part of life. Especially for people like us from the orphanage, who have nothing to receive from the world, it’s even more crucial.

Will you be thrown into society with nothing?

Or will you attend university on a scholarship?

The entrance exam was a matter of this.

Anyway, while my classmates were suffering from the college entrance exam and finals, I was living a lazy, trashy life, wasting time. But come to think of it, there was one person around me preparing for the college entrance exam.

That person was Ma Ki-hoon’s girlfriend, Moon Hye-jin.

It had been less than a month since I decided to abandon my lone wolf life and become a slightly warmer person, so I remembered to check in on her.

It sounds grand, but it was just a simple greeting.

“Oh, Ki-hoon hyung. By the way, how is Moon Hye-jin noona’s exam preparation going?”

“......”

However, Ma Ki-hoon’s expression wasn’t good at all.

Not at all.

It was really bad.

* * *

If I were to describe the political system of New Light Spring Orphanage, it would be close to a kind of ‘imperial presidency’.

There are ways to keep the leader in check, but basically all power is concentrated in the leader.

This glorious leader is usually called ‘disciplinary captain’, ‘leader’, ‘hyung,’ or ‘hey, do you know who our guy is?’ Naturally, this generation’s leader was Ma Ki-hoon.

His long history has been passed down as an oral myth.

It was a time of chaos, when the order of the world was shaken...

There was a time when the golden generation, who continued the glory of New Light Spring Orphanage, graduated all at once, leaving the orphanage’s leadership in a vacuum.

The ruling party, then and now, was the delinquent gang, so as soon as the consensus collapsed, a fierce civil war began within the high school division to determine the ‘leader’.

Thus, the strict discipline of the orphanage collapsed, and harsh tyranny continued in places the teachers couldn’t see.

External forces took advantage of this power vacuum, and the orphanage kids had to give all their pocket money to the nearby high school delinquents.

It was truly the ‘dark ages’...

At that time, a hero arose, none other than Ma Ki-hoon, who was only a second-year middle school student.

As Laozi in Tao Te Ching says, benevolence and righteousness come forth when the great way is abandoned, filial piety when families fall apart, and loyal ministers emerge when the country is in chaos. (TL: From Book Tao Te Ching by Laozi. Actual Quote and its english translation - https://ctext.org/dao-de-jing/ens?searchu=%E5%A4%A7%E9%81%93%E5%BB%A2%EF%BC%8C%E6%9C%89%E4%BB%81%E7%BE%A9%EF%BC%9B)

Just as heroes emerge in turbulent times, the strongest second-year middle school student Ma Ki-hoon fought against the high school students with his fists and chivalry, overcoming internal and external troubles and bringing an era of peace and stability to the orphanage.

And so, the world under heaven became one again.

“Ah, I got it! I got it! I’ll tell you, okay!”

This time, Moon Hye-jin really lit up a cigarette and took a deep drag as if to soothe her dark thoughts.

Finally, along with the smoke, the truth came out.

“...That idiot Ma Ki-hoon is saving up for my tuition?”

It was the burden.

* * *

I can provide a tutor for Moon Hye-jin if she’s struggling with her studies. I can even call someone graduated from Oxford’s English Literature department a couple of times.

I can give money to Moon Hye-jin if she’s worried about tuition. I can support her even if she says she’s going to study abroad. It’s such an easy thing to do.

But the sense of guilt that comes from realizing your loved one is working hard and sweating hard to earn money for you, making it hard to eat and hold a pen because of the fear of failure...

I couldn’t relieve that overwhelming burden.

There was only one person in the world who could resolve Moon Hye-jin’s anguish.

“Hye-jin!”

Ma Ki-hoon burst into New Light Spring Orphanage.

He was drenched in sweat on his forehead, probably from running so hastily.

The students and teachers, who were returning to their dorms in groups after dinner, saw Ma Ki-hoon burst through the door.

But Ma Ki-hoon saw only one person.

“Hye-jin!”

“Wha-what, Ma Ki-hoon, why are you here...?”

There was no ring case in Ma Ki-hoon’s hand as he walked toward Moon Hye-jin. He didn’t have the savings account book he had painstakingly saved for a year. He didn’t even have a bouquet of flowers.

Because right now, those trivial things weren’t necessary.

Ma Ki-hoon ran over with empty hands and grabbed Moon Hye-jin’s hands tightly, startling her.

And he started mumbling something, trying to speak.

Everyone was confused about what was happening, but since I was the one who had summoned Ma Ki-hoon via text, I had a rough idea of what would happen next.

My heart was pounding.

What would he say? That the savings account didn’t matter? That it was okay to fail the exam? That the important thing was their hearts? That he was sorry for causing her distress? Or perhaps...

“Let’s get married!”

Ma Ki-hoon.

He finally did it.

At that moment, cheers erupted from the orphanage.

“Kyaaaaaah-!”

“Damn it, Ki-hoon hyung!”

“Ah, fuck, Ki-hoon hyuuung!”

“Kyaaak! Kyaaak! Kyaaaaaah! Kyaaaaaaah!”

“Damn it, I believed in you!”

“You guys, what the hell is this...?”

“Oh my god... What do I do... I’m crying...”

“Eeeee! Eeeeek! Eeeeeeee!”

Dating was forbidden in the orphanage.

But if you’ve been dating for almost ten years since elementary school, even the teachers just let it slide.

But this was only tacit acceptance, not approval. For most of human history, love has been seen as a sin.

Even in today’s world, where there are so many love songs that people complain, purity is considered good, and passionate love is seen as evil. But is that really true?

The two people of unfortunate fate, who spent their childhood at New Light Spring Orphanage, overcame all obstacles and finally found their first partners.

In the moment when a promise and fruit of their bond were made, there was undeniably beauty.

This beauty was raw and sparkling, more honest and vivid than the tangled web of words in literature, so much so that even those who were not fond of books could clearly see it.

Indeed.

Wasn’t romance always a reflection of love?

“Kyaaaaaah-!”

“Stop! What are you all doing—ugh! Mmmp!”

“Stay still, Teacher Kim!”

As I, along with everyone else, watched the two young people kiss, and we laughed, cried, and enjoyed the moment for a long time.

Life makes us suffer, but sometimes humans can overcome that suffering and create happiness.

* * *

In the end, the plan for Ma Ki-hoon to propose to Moon Hye-jin by handing over the savings account ‘after she did well on the college entrance exam’ fell through.

Both of them realized that true trust must be unconditional.

That was the truth.

How much was in Ma Ki-hoon’s savings account didn’t matter to Moon Hye-jin. How well Moon Hye-jin did on the exam didn’t matter to Ma Ki-hoon.

Because the most important things are invisible.

But that was that, and this is this.

A beautiful love is a beautiful love, and the college entrance exam is the college entrance exam.

And fortunately, boosted by the power of love, Moon Hye-jin ended up with a perfect happy ending for her college entrance exam.

Congratulations, Moon Hye-jin of New Light Spring Orphanage High School...

Moon Hye-jin was accepted into a university worthy of having a banner hung at the orphanage entrance.

It wasn’t the best, but it was a university that was among the top 3. It was a tough university for an orphanage student who hadn’t attended a single private academy to get into. The orphanage was ecstatic at Moon Hye-jin’s personal victory.

However, amid the festive atmosphere, there were two people with somewhat strange expressions,

One was Moon Hye-jin, who had secretly been aiming for Seoul National University, and the other was me, having just heard that Gu Yu-bin had also been accepted into the same university.

*****

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