CHAPTER 55: CRYING

Jian Ci had heard from Jian Wei that Yu Xi was suffering from fatigue, muscle pain, and a persistent headache. It wasn’t life-threatening, but it was enough to make him worry. So he gathered everything he could. He took nutrient packs, pain relief pills and muscle cream, and brought them to Yu Xi’s room.

When he entered, Yu Xi slowly pulled the covers down, revealing his flushed face and tired eyes. He looked at Jian Ci, and something in his expression faltered. Yu Xi hadn’t been cared for like this since his mother died.

He had long stopped expecting anyone outside of his brother to show concern. Yet here was Jian Ci, standing at his bedside, looking genuinely worried.

"Can you sit up?" Jian Ci asked gently. "Let me help you."

Yu Xi’s eyes stung. He pulled the covers back over his head, trying to hide the tears that had begun to fall. He couldn’t stop them. Jian Ci thought he didn’t want the medicine thus he reached for the blanket, coaxing softly, but Yu Xi resisted. Jian Ci had to use a little force, and finally Yu Xi let go though he turned his face away.

Jian Ci saw the tears glistening on his cheeks. He leaned closer, intending to speak, but was startled by the wetness on his own cheek. Yu Xi was crying, silently, and Jian Ci instinctively climbed halfway onto the bed, pulling Yu Xi into a sitting position before wrapping his arms around him.

"Is it something I said?" Jian Ci whispered.

Yu Xi shook his head, his chin brushing Jian Ci’s shoulder, unable to speak.

Jian Ci sat frozen, arms still loosely around Yu Xi, unsure of what to do next. He had never comforted anyone before, at least not like this. He didn’t know the right words, didn’t know if there even were any. All he could do was stroke Yu Xi’s back gently, letting the tears soak through his shirt, letting the silence speak for them both.

Yu Xi didn’t understand what had cracked inside him, what had made him break down in front of Jian Ci of all people. But once the floodgates opened, they refused to close. He cried quietly, the weight of years pressing down on him. Maybe it was Jian Ci’s scent—clean and familiar—or his voice, always steady, or the way he never rushed him. Maybe it was all of it. Whatever it was, it made Yu Xi feel safe enough to unravel.

When the tears finally slowed, shame crept in. Yu Xi pushed Jian Ci away, pulled the covers over himself, and curled into the mattress. Jian Ci blinked, startled by the sudden shift.

He stared at the unmoving figure beneath the blanket, heart aching. He reached out, fingers hovering just above the covers, wanting to pull them back, wanting to say something, but his hand curled into a fist.

He pulled it back. He didn’t want to push too hard. He didn’t want to make Yu Xi feel embarrassed.

"Take the things I brought for you," Jian Ci said, his voice a little hoarse, roughened by worry. "They will make it better."

Yu Xi didn’t reply. He lay curled beneath the covers, his body sweltering in the cocoon of heat, his tear-streaked face flushed and damp. The air beneath the blanket was stifling, but he didn’t move. He couldn’t bear to let Jian Ci see him like this again.

Jian Ci lingered by the bed, uncertain. "I will come check on you later," he said, hesitating. "If you don’t use the things on the table, I will..."

He trailed off. What could he even threaten Yu Xi with? He was a grown man, not a child. Jian Ci frowned, then added, "If you don’t, I will be mad at you."

Still no response. Jian Ci stared at the unmoving lump beneath the blanket, then sighed and turned to leave. The door slid shut behind him with a soft hiss.

Yu Xi exhaled, the breath he had been holding finally escaping. Slowly, he pulled the covers down, blinking into the dim room. The silence felt heavier now.

He bit his lip, eyes drifting to the bedside table. He saw the things Jian Ci brought and his chest tightened.

"He really brought all that... for me." he said to himself. He reached for the nutrient pack and it was still warm. He cradled it in his hands, fingers brushing over the soft casing as if it were something precious. A small smile tugged at his lips gentle, almost shy. His chest felt light, like a cloud had settled inside it, softening the ache.

He opened the cap and took a sip. The warmth spread through him, soothing the raw edges of his body and mind. For a moment, it felt like all the pain he had endured had led to this quiet kindness. And somehow, it felt worth it.

Meanwhile, Jian Ci hadn’t gone downstairs to eat. His appetite had vanished, which for him was no small thing. He lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. ’Had he done enough? Should he have not left Yu Xi alone instead?’

He sat up, swiped his hand through the air, and summoned a floating screen. Its interface pulsed softly in the dim room.

Jian Ci bit his thumb, hesitating. Then, in a low voice, he said, "Lynx... what would make an esper cry?"

The virtual assistant responded instantly, its tone clinical and composed. "Searching Star Net archives for emotional response data in espers..."

Jian Ci leaned forward, eyes fixed on the screen, hoping for answers he didn’t know how to ask.

There was a pause. Then the results appeared in a floating panel, glowing softly in the dim room.

"Espers crying is rare," Lynx said, its voice neutral and precise. "Almost statistically impossible. Due to their genetic makeup and psychic conditioning, emotional overload typically results in violent outbursts, aura destabilization, or neural fragmentation—not tears."

Jian Ci blinked, startled. "So Espers don’t cry?"

He thought back. When his mother was in the accident, he hadn’t cried. Neither had Jian Rui. He had felt everything else—rage, sorrow, helplessness—but not a single tear. It had always seemed normal and expected.

He didn’t know that he had already cried and in front of Yu Xi while drunk and caught in a minor psychic collapse.

"Not under normal conditions," Lynx replied. "Their emotional regulation is reinforced by psychic architecture. Crying is considered a vulnerability, one that most espers are biologically and culturally trained to suppress."

Jian Ci leaned forward, eyes narrowing. "Then what rare situations have caused it?"