CHAPTER 108: _YOU MAKE ME VULNERABLE

Lucian’s POV

*****

"Elian. We need to talk."

He stepped in after saying that, not giving him room to interject or refuse him.

When he was inside, he didn’t glance back, waiting until he heard the soft click of the door and Elian’s slow footsteps toward him.

"About what?" Elian queried cautiously, as if he were expecting bad news.

Lucian closed his eyes for a beat before turning to face him, his shoulders relaxing when he saw the expression on Elian’s face.

Clueless, yes. But the alertness in his eyes... It wasn’t born from someone who was burdened with intelligence.

It was an alertness born from someone who’s spent all his life in survival mode. Survival mode which wouldn’t be necessary if people like Lucian didn’t constantly belittle him simply because he was an omega.

"Elian, since the mating ball you’ve been through one hell to the other." Lucian began, tilting his head and taking a few steps toward him. "And everything that happened today... made me realise something I never thought I’d catch myself admitting."

Elian folded his arms in front of his chest, arching a curious eyebrow.

Seeing this, Lucian stared at the floorboards for a second before continuing. "Elian, I can’t... I can’t bear the thought of seeing you die."

He raised his head to meet his gaze again only to meet a deep frown.

"Uh... With everything we’ve been through I would hope so." Elian blinked like that was glaringly obvious. "Ouch, Lucian. Is that what you wanted to tell me? That you hate me less?"

Lucian’s lips parted with shock before his eyebrows furrowed into a deep frown.

"I do not hate you, Elian. I—"

"Really?" Elian sniggered, shaking his head as his arms fell beside him. He took slow steps forward, speaking with what sounded like hurt in his voice. "Yet, that night when you found out we were mates... You shoved me to the ground. Believed it was some kind of curse or foul play."

Lucian wanted to say something but Elian’s lips were faster than his thoughts.

"Ever since then, it’s been mental gymnastics, verbal sparring and occasional good sex from you. Nothing more." Elian rasped, a bitter smile stretching across his lips. "You protect me because it’s your duty. Not because you care. Not because you see me as anything other than a burden."

Each word struck a nerve in Lucian. His eyes twitched slightly and his fists curled and uncurled beside him.

"That’s unfair, Elian," Lucian muttered but Elian scoffed, shaking his head with a laugh that carried no joy.

"Unfair? Please. It’s the truth."

Lucian clenched his jaw, his wolf snarling in his chest at the bitterness laced in Elian’s tone. He forced himself to steady his breathing, to not let his pride dictate his next words.

"You think I don’t care?" He asked lowly, stepping forward until there were only a few breaths between them. His voice was rough, like it had been scraped by all he didn’t want to say. "You think all of this is just... obligation?"

Elian didn’t back away, but the flicker of hesitation in his violet eyes betrayed him.

Lucian’s fists trembled at his sides.

"I don’t hate you, Elian. I never hated you." His voice rose, but not in anger... more in frustration, like every word was tearing out pieces of his armour. "What I hate... is the fact that you make me vulnerable. That every time I look at you, I know I’m not in control anymore. That my instincts want to rip apart anyone who touches you."

He forced a bitter laugh, dragging a hand through his hair. "Do you know how much I loathe myself for that? For being reduced to this?"

Elian’s lips parted, but nothing came out. His gaze softened, just slightly, though his shoulders were still tense.

Lucian pressed on before the silence choked him.

"And then there’s Axel." The name tasted like ash in his mouth. "The fact that you’re not just mine—that you have him too—it eats at me. It burns, Elian. I hate that he’s seen parts of you that I should’ve been the one to see. And I hate myself even more for letting it matter this much."

The words spilt out like venom, but there was no malice in them... Only unfiltered honesty.

For once, Lucian didn’t sound like an Alpha Prince trying to command the room. He sounded like a man confessing sins.

Elian blinked, his chest rising and falling unevenly. "Lucian—"

"No." Lucian shook his head sharply, stepping closer until the faint warmth of Elian’s body teased his skin. "You need to hear this, because I am done pretending. I like you, Elian. More than I should. More than I want to admit. You make me reckless. You make me weak. And that terrifies me."

Elian’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. His expression flickered from disbelief to something softer. "You... like me?"

Lucian let out a strained chuckle, one that was closer to a growl. "The word doesn’t even scratch the surface. But it’s all I can give you right now. Because if I say anything more, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop myself."

The air between them thickened, charged with an electricity Lucian couldn’t fight even if he wanted to. He searched Elian’s face for mockery, for the sharp retort he always expected... but instead, he found hesitation. Vulnerability.

The same kind he’d just spilt out like blood.

"I don’t know what to do with that," Elian admitted in a whisper, his brows knitting. "You push me away, then you pull me back in. You confuse me, Lucian. And I’ve had enough confusion for a lifetime."

Lucian’s chest ached at the truth of it. He’d made Elian’s life harder, not easier. He’d been cruel when he should’ve been kind, distant when he should’ve been steady.

"I know." He reached up, his hand hovering near Elian’s cheek but not touching, afraid the contact would shatter the fragile trust blooming in the space between them. "I’ve been a jerk. I know that. But gods, Elian... when I thought I’d lose you tonight and earlier when you were kidnapped, something inside me broke. I don’t ever want to feel that again."

The silence stretched, thick with tension.

Finally, Elian lifted his gaze, his violet eyes locking onto Lucian’s. "Then don’t let me feel like I’m unwanted anymore."

It wasn’t an acceptance. It wasn’t forgiveness. But it was a crack in the wall Elian had built between them.

Lucian exhaled shakily, his wolf pacing furiously inside him, begging to close the distance and claim their mate. But Lucian held the line.

For once, restraint felt heavier than violence.

Instead, he lowered his hand, forcing his lips into something that almost resembled a smile. "That, Elian... I can promise."

Elian studied him for a long moment, like he was testing the weight of those words. Then, slowly, he nodded, his shoulders loosening just slightly.

The tension didn’t vanish. The hurt wasn’t magically gone.

But for the first time since this bond had shackled them together, Lucian felt the possibility of something else lingering in the air... something tender.

He stepped back before he lost control completely, glancing at the bed. "You should rest. You’ve had enough pain for one day."

But Elian didn’t take his eyes off him, taking a single step forward. Lucian’s breath hitched; whatever restraint he’d tried building up faltered.

However, just when their lips were inches away from touching... The door slammed open, causing Lucian to instantly go on alert.

They swerved their heads to the door only to see Axel panting heavily, a tense expression on his face.

"It’s Estella..." He blurted, the words strained. "She’s here... And she claims she was in the dark lands..."