CHAPTER 44: WILL SHE LOATHE ME?

(Rigel)

Amaia wonders why I didn’t try to mate with her and initiate sex. Why didn’t I grope her breasts or feel the warmth between her legs?

How should I tell my innocent mate that my body is constantly used for sexual gratification?

There is an insatiable lust that I am made to fulfil.

The unthinkable ways my body is violated.

The horrors I am made to endure, I can’t even voice them in front of her.

Disgusting and revolting I find myself. If she finds out the truth, I will become repulsive to her. She will loathe me.

Whatever she feels for me will vanish because she can’t even sense the bond.

No, I want to keep her to myself for a few more blissful moments, maybe hours, if I am lucky, days.

"Not like this, Amaia. You deserve better. A comfy bed, decorated with white roses and surrounded by hundreds of candles." I paint a picture for her and she affectionately smiles.

"You like white roses?" She asks, stepping outside and grabbing the plate that the woman has left her.

"Yes, I find them beautiful."

She brings it back inside and squats in front of me. Instead of eating, she extends the plate towards me.

"Have some."

With surprise, my eyes wander to the plate. There is hardly food for her. Two slices of bread, some scrambled eggs, two strips of chicken and one apple.

I shake my head. Vampires can consume food, but only meat-based food. Somehow I am different and can eat everything. I have never known why and my mother didn’t explain before she was taken from me.

But, Amaia doesn’t need to know or she will force me to eat when it’s not even enough for her.

"Vampires don’t eat this. You eat. I already fed on you. It sated me."

Disappointment flashes on her face and I want to smile at her innocence.

"Oh! Are you sure? You can have more of my blood." She extends her arm, wrist up where two puncture wounds I made last night are still visible.

My mouth waters at the invitation. The mere scent of her blood is sweeter than any sweet delicacy I have tasted, it is unique, this much I know. The way it hums in her veins...

But, I shake my head at her. As tantalising and inviting her scent is, I am not going to drain her when she has barely enough to eat.

"No, eat your food." I point towards her plate and she places it down before grabbing the apple and taking a large bite from it.

"So how long is your punishment?" I ask, placing both my arms on my bent legs. The chains shift with me.

"Three days. I need to clean all the cells. But I am tempted to not do it and piss him off," she nonchalantly says, lazily biting into the apple again.

As tiny as she is, I can see she has a naughty bone inside her.

"Won’t he punish you even more? Alnilam is not the forgiving kind," I say, bitterly smiling at the memories I hold of him.

"You know him?" With a crunching sound, she bites into the apple again. The juice trickles down the sides of her lips and then drops to her chin.

The urge to just lick to clean off from her skin ignites like a meteor shower inside me. But she wipes it off with the back of her hand.

"Yes! We met a long time ago. I haven’t met anyone in a while though," I answer, my eyes refusing to budge from her.

Her actions excite me, her closeness takes away the pain.

After finishing the apple she makes a sandwich with bread and eggs and begins to devour it.

"And the twins? Have you met them too?" She asks, intrigued.

"When they were little, yes." That’s all I can say, I know the curse will prevent me from speaking more.

Sadly, she nods at me. I am not sure why speaking about them has suddenly made her mood shift but she grows quiet after that. She finishes her sandwich and puts away the plate. I know she is saving the rest for later. The woman said, she won’t get any more food today.

How despicable to not even give her enough food. If it is in my hands I will raise mountains of food for my mate.

One day, when I finally escape this hellhole and kill my captor, I am going to whisk away my mate and live with her in some faraway land. Every luxury possible, I will provide for her, if only she would have me with such a tainted past.

"I have to go clean one or two cells so it will seem like I made an effort." She shrugs her shoulders and I can’t help but smile.

"Don’t overdo it and come when you are tired. I am waiting."

She nods. Picking up the lantern she strides away leaving me in darkness. Her scent remains, surrounding me like a protective shield. The pain doesn’t return and I just lean against the wall, filling my lungs with her lingering fragrance.

I know she is at the far end and I can’t hear her anymore. Every second prolongs for me into an eternity and I wonder how I will survive from this time forward. Knowing she is just above me somewhere but I won’t be able to see or feel her. Won’t be able to touch her.

What if someone discovers that she is my mate and tries to hurt her, especially that wretched soul who has me imprisoned?

The mere thought sends me into a frenzy and I pull at the chains so hard until my whole body strains and an unimaginable pain runs through me.

I bend over, these damned cursed chains. Every time I try to break them or set myself free, they bring about this soul-wrenching agony which makes every cell in my body scream.

A painful cry tears out of me and I bend over. My body shakes as if spasming and I know it will last hours.

"Rigel!" Her outcry comes before her warm hands slide against my torso and she pulls me into her soft body.