Roger crouched on the deck, watching Ritter deftly change Shanks' diaper.

Suddenly, he burst into booming laughter. "Kuhahaha! You know, Ritter, you weren't nearly this troublesome when you boarded the ship at three years old!"

Ritter didn't even glance up as he fastened the diaper. "Of course not. I'm a beetroot ahahaha!"

Rayleigh, in the middle of brewing tea, froze. A cold gleam flashed across his glasses. "Now that you mention it, that was suspicious. What kind of three-year-old sneaks into the liquor stash in the middle of the night?"

"And goes straight for the expensive stuff," Jabba growled, grinding his teeth. "That rum cost me half a year's worth of savings!"

Ritter picked up Shanks, who was happily tugging at his hair.

Completely unfazed, he said, "It was called a tasting. Besides, when you picked me up from that deserted island, didn't you already realize I wasn't your average kid? What kind of 'good kid' lives alone on an island?"

Roger laughed even harder. "That's true!"

Shanks gave a sleepy yawn in Ritter's arms, then drooled all over his shoulder.

Ritter looked down at the baby, gently patting his back. "See? This is what a normal child is supposed to be like."

Rayleigh took a slow sip of tea. "So you admit now you faked being cute just to get on the ship?"

"What do you mean 'faked being cute'? The Roger Pirates would've capsized without me." Ritter slipped the now-sleeping Shanks into Roger's arms. "Now it's your turn to enjoy the joys of parenting, dear Captain."

Roger fumbled to hold the baby properly.

Ritter's Observation Haki swept out, catching something bobbing in the waves.

"Wait... there's something in that barrel…"

Destiny sure liked to play tricks. Ritter hauled the barrel aboard.

Roger burst out laughing. "Don't tell me it's another baby?"

The wooden barrel bumped against the ship's hull with a thud then the lid popped open. Inside sat a baby with a bright red nose, gnawing happily on half a carrot and waving at them with glee.

"Another one?!" Jabba's jaw nearly hit the deck.

The baby squealed with joy, his shiny red nose gleaming in the sunlight. He tried to clamber out of the barrel but promptly fell headfirst into the diapers Ritter had just hung up to dry.

Rayleigh's glasses slid down his nose. "This one...?"

Roger was already laughing as he lifted the red-nosed baby high into the air. "Kuhahaha! Look at that nose! Isn't he adorable!"

Shanks, still drowsy in Roger's arms, seemed to sense something. The two babies locked eyes

"Waaah!" Shanks excitedly reached out to grab Buggy's nose.

"Aah!" Buggy immediately bit down on Shanks' finger.

"Hey, hey, hey! What are you two doing? Play nice, kiddos!"

Ritter rushed to pull them apart, and both babies instantly erupted into howling cries.

Rayleigh sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Great. Buy one, get one free. I'm starting to miss when Ritter was little."

Holding a baby in each hand, Ritter suddenly flashed a devilish smile. "Captain, I just had a brilliant idea..."

Roger leaned in, curious. "Oh? What is it, little Ritter? Let's hear it."

"Well, since you're so good at taking care of kids…" Ritter dumped both babies into Roger's arms. "They're all yours!"

"Wait, I didn't—!" Roger barely managed to catch the wriggling babies as Shanks' drool and Buggy's snot smeared across his face.

Rayleigh took three deliberate steps back. "Well, you are the captain. Some responsibilities can't be avoided after all, they're your future crewmates."

Jabba was already climbing over the railing. "I'll go check the hull for leaks!"

As his crewmates shamelessly abandoned him, Roger didn't sulk. Instead, he spun around and lifted both babies high into the air. "Who cares! Kuhahaha! From today on, you two are the official trainee members of the Roger Pirates!"

Shanks and Buggy seemed to understand.

Buggy's red nose twitched. He let out a huge sneeze, and a bubble of snot landed squarely on Roger's face.

"Oi oi! This little brat's even worse than Shanks!" Roger frantically wiped his face.

Inspired, Shanks tried to imitate him with a loud "pffft!" but lacking technique, only managed to splatter Roger with drool.

So it begins the rivalry between this chaotic pair. The future Emperor Red-Haired Shanks and the future "New Emperor," the Clown King Buggy. Ritter watched them, knowing he'd seen them grow up. His future reputation was going to be legendary, no doubt. Legendary!

"You little brats!" Roger tried to scowl but couldn't hide his grin. "Looks like I'll have to teach you what 'Captain's Authority' means!"

He lunged in for some tickles but Buggy grabbed a handful of his nose hairs, and Shanks clambered onto his head.

"Ow ow ow! Let go, you little monsters!"

The deck descended into chaos. Rayleigh shook his head helplessly. "Things are going to get noisy around here."

Jabba reappeared, somehow already back on deck and holding two bottles of rum. "Alright, I'm betting Buggy walks first! One bottle of rum on it!"

"I'm betting on Shanks! He's already starting to talk he's got a head start." Another crewmate joined in.

Ritter sauntered over, grinning. "I'm betting they'll both learn how to sneak booze before they learn to walk. After all, like captain, like crew."

"Oi! You heartless bastards! Get over here and help me!" Roger's cries for help were drowned in a wave of laughter.

Some time later...

"Hey, Shanks, look over there—" Ritter whispered, pointing at Rayleigh, who was fast asleep. He slipped a bottle of ink into Shanks' tiny hand. The baby blinked, then tottered off toward the vice-captain.

Five minutes later, Rayleigh had a perfect Jolly Roger doodled across his face. The culprit sat nearby, sucking his fingers with a look of pure innocence.

"RITTER!"

Rayleigh's roar echoed across the ship.

Up on the mast, Ritter was laughing so hard he could barely breathe he didn't notice Buggy had somehow crawled up behind him. The red-nosed baby gave a mighty wail.

"What's wrong, what's wrong?!" Roger rushed over to find Ritter scrambling to calm the child.

"Kuhahaha! Karma!" Roger laughed so hard he nearly doubled over.

Ritter grit his teeth. "That little brat faked it! He was just smiling at me a second ago!"

But no sooner had he spoken than Buggy stopped crying and pulled a silly face at him.

The deck exploded in laughter. Even Rayleigh, still sporting a face full of ink, couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from twitching as he went to fetch a towel.

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