CHAPTER 145: CHAPTER 115: BARE ONE’S HEART

Here, they are discussing their young married couple. In the bedroom, Zhang Guoqing and Zhou Jiao are also discussing today’s events around their son. Zhou Jiao occasionally comments, sharing her views. Regarding Zhao Yuanyuan, whom the three of them talked about, she did not express an opinion; matters of the heart are never clear-cut.

Back then, she never thought she would get married, as she always held onto her singlehood beliefs. She had seen too many couples who once loved each other, eventually tear each other apart in court. Who is good or bad, who is suitable, they are friends, but not family, so it’s better to say less. Everyone has good and evil in their hearts; she would only guard against them in her heart, why say it out loud? In the eyes of others, is Zhou Jiao seen as a good person? Not necessarily.

Zhang Guoqing noticed that Zhou Jiao did not react when Zhao Yuanyuan was mentioned, and he smiled knowingly, softly saying, "Today, Li Qinglin said the former Jiao Jiao seemed like bamboo. At first, he thought he liked her, but later realized he only admired her because he couldn’t understand or fathom her thoughts. He said that if he were to be with such a girl for a lifetime, he would be very tired, especially mentally tired. He said she seemed as clear as a crystal, but inside it was all ice, with layers of defense.

Such people have hard hearts, usually only caring about the ones they truly care about, ignoring all others, saying they envy me for having you keep me in your heart, how fortunate am I?

I suddenly remembered, I pursued you for over a year, and you were still indifferent. A guy in the same dorm pulled me to the rooftop to drink and told me he said your intelligence is high, seeing things too clearly, hence your cold nature. On the surface, you seem calm and harmless, but deep down carry a needle, which can pierce others and yourself. Such people’s minds are hard to guess, requiring too much effort. Very hard to get close to.

That night, he analyzed you all night, concluding that you are inherently emotionally blunt and cold-blooded. You are also a single-minded person, preferring to be alone rather than letting outsiders trespass into your heart. He suggested I give up, saying it’s very hard to make you love someone else. To pair up with you was a fool’s errand.

But I was very happy, extremely happy; I felt we were even of the same kind. I understood you, and only I could understand you. When we got married, the guy patted his head and laughed, saying how fortunate I was to become yours in your eyes.

Hehe, Jiao Jiao, how lucky I am. I am glad that in your eyes, in your heart."

Zhou Jiao gently stroked his face, her eyes filled with a touch of confusion, softly murmuring, "I am also lucky to have you. They were all right. The more I see human nature, the more disappointed I become. Whether in the past or present, I cannot trust others.

Not even my mother who gave birth to me. In the past life, my mother treated me as nothing during my childhood, and even as an ATM when I became an adult. Is my current mother better? Yes, but with boundaries, providing money and things. I don’t lack money or things. She loves herself the most, then my dad. With my dad back, she met me. If my dad vanished, who knows what would happen? Without expectations, there is no disappointment.

Thus, I should always have some reservations about everyone. No expectations, no begging, then no hurt. I fear giving without receiving, fear getting hurt. If I hadn’t met you, without you quietly accompanying me, getting used to having you nearby, I wouldn’t have gotten married.

I am emotionally indifferent, even cold-bloodedly harsh. In my past life, apart from you, there was no one in my maternal family I could trust, not even my eldest sister. You see how she treats me well on the surface? But I always remember her hostility and jealousy during my childhood.

My grandfather-in-law passed away too early. That old man was truly good; he loved you, so I respected and loved him. He was the only elder who genuinely treated me kindly.

Friends and relatives during my hardest times did not lend a hand, even taking advantage. When I became capable, all came smiling, making various demands. Once refused, they immediately hurled curses.

The only high school homeroom teacher who showed kindness, was also for the 10,000 yuan bonus. He insisted I follow his requirements for choice of college and major to qualify for the bonus.

In university, I saw numerous people who would stop at nothing for profit, stabbing me in the back. After entering society, after some minor events, yesterday’s so-called friends became strangers today.

Coming here, the Zhou Family members were worse. The exploitation and scheming came right at me; the only one who cared, the grandmother was also maintaining family peace. She asked me to step back; you say she’s uninformed, but is she foolish? No! Where do the big and small items in the house come from? Would she not notice? She compensates me with apologies.

The clansmen of Zhou Family Village more or less saw my plight, yet pretended not to. No one is foolish in this world; everyone understands; it’s just everyone practicing self-preservation.

Aside from you, the closest to me, Zhao Yuanyuan, is she dumb? No! She can see I’m afraid of the cold, can see my preferences, but can’t see my predicament? Why are those people at school polite to me, besides having you by my side, there’s the Lin Family standing there too.

People, they all have good and evil in their hearts, human nature as such. Like I can calmly watch people act, also can calmly enter the scene, seen too much, and got used to it.

Brother, don’t laugh at me, I’m really afraid of hurting myself. Money spent can be earned back, feeling unfair can be calculated back. But emotions don’t guarantee a return. All along, aside from adding you, I had nothing, and now, I have a son; I don’t know about his future. Lastly, it’s my dad, Zhou Xiaozheng. He’s the only one in this world who keeps me in mind, whom I don’t have to worry about being schemed against."

Zhang Guoqing listened, feeling a pang of sadness, tightly hugging her. Having known her for years, he thought he understood enough. But the details of her experiences before university were unclear. He only knew her childhood was repressive, up to adulthood, relying entirely on herself.

Unexpectedly, there was much bitterness behind. Worse than his life as an orphan. He encountered ill-willed people but more who helped him out of goodwill.

It’s no wonder she has a cold nature, harboring doubts towards others’ goodwill. Lack of security since childhood made her reject others from getting close, fearing being schemed against and used. After being hurt, she learned to guard herself.

He swore to protect her well, educate the children well to guard her, so she’d never think human nature ugly again. Regardless of the outside world, their family would always rely on each other.

He thought he had read her through but still, it was not enough. Didn’t see her resistance to outsiders, her inner unease, and even her particularly extreme thoughts; the pure kinship, friendship she wished for, where in the world is it?

"With me here, you can treat others however you like. We won’t ask others to be wholeheartedly devoted to us, seven points will do. We return five points in kind, how about that? Jiao Jiao, as long as you’re happy, anything goes.

We try to trust those who won’t endanger us. Like your mother-in-law, isn’t she good to you? You can try."

Zhou Jiao snorted, whispered in his ear softly: "Are you silly, never heard that a mother-in-law and a mother are different. A mother-in-law must be respected. When dealing with others, always keep a third of your heart guarded."

Zhang Guoqing laughed heartily, recalling colleagues speaking of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law issue, "Okay, handle it as you see fit."