CHAPTER 889: CHAPTER 889: DIVERTING THE TOPIC

Ferdinand nervously met her gaze, and Arabella did as well.

She was relieved to see he had calmed down and was looking at her with a softer gaze.

’How can I get so scared with him getting just a little bit angry?’

Still, it did not feel good being on the receiving end of his anger.

"Arabella, I’m really sorry.

I didn’t mean to raise my voice at you.

I just don’t like it when you talk about your own death so easily," Ferdinand said with a saddened expression.

"Is that what made you angry?" Arabella blinked twice.

She thought it was because she was being stubborn about wanting to go to Sibruh.

"Yes. When you speak like that about your own death, it’s as if you’re ready to die anytime and leave me all alone. I don’t even want to think about your death at all," Ferdinand explained himself.

"I see. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again," Arabella promised.

’I should have been more considerate of his feelings.’

Probably because it was because she had already died once that Arabella could easily speak of her possible death.

Or perhaps, because she knew she was not meant to die yet, with all the sins she must atone for.

Despite what she had managed to do for Valeria these past months, it was still very much lacking to atone for the lost lives the war had brought on due to her revenge.

It was why she must keep helping as many people as possible in Valeria.

Ferdinand might think it’s kindness and her sense of duty as an Empress, but it was also for her to atone for her sins.

It was a must.

If she simply sat on the throne comfortably or just slept in her room all day, how else would she be able to atone for her sins?

She’s immensely grateful Ferdinand loves and worries about her, but there are things she must do as penance for this second chance at life given to her.

There’s no way this mind-reading skill of hers was given for nothing.

Arabella believes she and Alwin have memories of the past for a reason — they must do something about the past.

And this is exactly why they are trying to change the past they knew.

"Yes, please don’t. And don’t ever think of your life so lightly. You are so precious to me and everyone else," Ferdinand hugged her tightly.

"Thank you," Arabella said, hugging him back.

It was nice to be reminded that someone treasured her this much.

"I’m really sorry about raising my voice earlier," Ferdinand said again.

"I know. I understand now why you did it. And I know it was not intentional," Arabella verbally accepted his apology, so he won’t say it again.

It did scare her a bit since but it’s all good now that she understood why he got angry.

"Thank you," Ferdinand sighed in relief and buried his face in her hair, settling the weight of his head on her shoulder.

’If he’s going to be this regretful after getting angry, should I make him angry every now and then?’ Arabella suddenly had a mischievous thought.

But then again, being the recipient of his anger did not feel good at all.

Likewise, she didn’t want to make Ferdinand feel terrible.

As much as possible, she just wanted him to enjoy this life.

Yet their standing as Emperor and Empress just keep pushing them away from that.

She understood why sometimes, Ferdinand just wants them to retire in Estrella already and just stay in his island every single day.

But since they can’t yet, they have no choice but to keep working.

"You allow me to go to Sibruh, right?" Arabella asked and Ferdinand made a sound of complaint in his throat.

He held her tighter and buried his face in her hair even more as if doing such would allow him to escape from responding to her.

[Should I just be glad that she did not ask to be present in Crux during the war?]

"Hahaha," Arabella chuckled upon hearing his thoughts. "Don’t worry. I won’t do something that dangerous. I know I’ll only get in the way if I was there."

"Then should I say you will only get in the way if you were in Sibruh so you won’t go there anymore?" Ferdinand muttered in a low voice against her hair.

He probably meant to just say in his thoughts but it came out of his mouth.

"Don’t be mean," Arabella pinched his arm. "I can at least divert the people’s attention for a day or two. They will at least want to see the Empress, right?"

"What was that? It doesn’t even count as an ant’s bite," Ferdinand laughed at her pinch.

"Should I sink my nails on your skin then?" Arabella made a claw-like shape with her hand and lightly traced lines at Ferdinand’s arm.

"Don’t. You’ll make me feel something else," Ferdinand said in a low voice.

"What?!" Arabella instantly stopped it and spanked his arm when she understood what he meant.

"Even that can be pleasurable too," Ferdinand muttered.

’Huh?’

"Geez. Stop it! You pervert," Arabella scolded and did not do anything else with her hand.

"Hahaha!" Ferdinand chuckled when it took a second for Arabella to understand what he meant.

’Wait! Is he trying to divert the topic? He almost got me!’

"Hey, don’t avoid the topic. You allow me to go, right?" Arabella returned them to what they were supposed to be talking about.

"Tsk," Ferdinand grumbled but sighed in defeat when he did not succeed to divert the topic.

"I can go, right?" Arabella repeated so he couldn’t escape it.

[I just don’t want her to experience that. I know it could be because of my negative reputation. But what if they still do it to her too out of frustration.]

"Do what?" Arabella inquired.

"N-nothing!" Ferdinand tensed up.

[It seems neither Ivan nor Zion told her about it. Good.]

Ferdinand suddenly straightened himself up, and said, "I have a lot of work to do. I must go."