CHAPTER 891: CHAPTER 891: IT’S NOT TIME YET

[I have no use of this Empire if I don’t have you.]

’I see... Is this why he still loved me back then? Does this mean he will accept me too if I told him the truth?’

Arabella felt her heart race.

Was this her cue?

’Is it time to tell Ferdinand the truth?

Since he said those words, it’s alright to tell him now, right?’

"A-Arabella? Why are you crying?"

Ferdinand cupped her face with his free hand and gently ran his thumb on her cheek.

’Crying?’

"Oh, this... I’m just... Sniff... Huwah! Ferdinand, do I even deserve you?!"

Arabella ended up crying her heart out before she knew it.

Perhaps, out of relief that Ferdinand would likely still accept her even if he knew the entire truth.

It was as if a heavy burden, akin to a curse that had been following her since she was reborn, was lifted from her chest.

"Arabella, what’s wrong?" Ferdinand kept inquiring with no reply from her.

Thus, he simply held her in his arms and petted her hair and back, trying to comfort her.

[What is this? Where is this immense sadness and relief I’m feeling from her coming from? Just what else did she experience in Lobelius? Did someone make her do unspeakable things she cannot even say?]

’It’s not Lobelius. And I did it all on my own of my own volition,’ Arabella thought and held him tighter.

’Maybe, it’s really alright to tell him now...’

Now that they had touched the topic and Ferdinand said those words, Arabella thought that she could speak about the past now.

After all, if Ferdinand could accept her despite all of it, then it’s okay to tell him.

Arabella gulped and gathered her resolve.

She dried her tears, and when she was ready, she looked Ferdinand in the eye.

"Ferdinand, you know what, I-" Arabella froze when she realized she suddenly couldn’t speak.

She looked around and gasped when everything around her, even Ferdinand, seemed to be frozen in time.

Nothing was moving.

Not Ferdinand.

Not the plants by the window.

Not even her.

{IT’S NOT TIME YET.}

A voice suddenly spoke loudly in her mind.

’What?! Who is this?! Why is he speaking directly in mind?’

{IT’S NOT TIME YET.

THE PAST WILL REPEAT ITSELF IF YOU SPEAK CARELESSLY.

IT’S NOT TIME YET.}

When it spoke again, despite not knowing who it was, Arabella felt – she had no right to question who it was, she must simply obey.

It was a being she must listen to.

Arabella understood that she must not tell Ferdinand yet if she doesn’t want her past life to repeat itself once again.

Zzzt.

Everything unfroze, and Arabella could finally move and speak again.

Ferdinand as well, and he was waiting expectantly for what she would say.

"I-I’m very much grateful that’s how you feel," Arabella once again buried her face in his chest to hide her expression.

’And I’m deeply sorry I cannot tell you the truth yet.’

She didn’t understand why, when she finally gathered her resolve, she was told not to inform Ferdinand yet.

However, since she was told about the consequence, she would quietly obey. She could not risk the past from repeating. Never again would she want it to happen.

[She looked determined to tell me something earlier. Why did she change her mind?]

Arabella gulped when she heard his thoughts.

Perhaps she could just pretend she did not hear his thoughts and act like she had no clue he already knew she was keeping something from him.

However, Arabella did not want to ignore it.

This time, she wanted to let him know she wanted to be truthful, but could not yet.

"I’m so sorry, Ferdinand.

I can’t yet.

I wanted to, but I can’t yet.

In the future, once time comes, I promise,

I will tell you," Arabella admitted, and her tears dripped again.

She could at least say this much to assure Ferdinand that the issue was not with him.

"I see. Fret not, I can wait till you’re ready.

You don’t have to look so guilty. I understand it must be difficult to say.

I won’t ask and I won’t pry.

I’m grateful enough to know that you plan to tell when the time is right," Ferdinand kissed her forehead and hugged her reassuringly.

[Just the fact that she almost told me about it today makes me happy.

Someday, for sure, she will open up and tell me.]

"I’m so sorry," Arabella apologized again, feeling even worse after hearing his thoughts.

Just when she wanted to be completely honest, she suddenly couldn’t.

"Shhh. Don’t apologize. You already promised to tell me in the future. There’s no need to rush," Ferdinand comforted her.

"Thank you, Ferdinand. Thank you for everything."

Since Ferdinand did not want apologies, Arabella then thanked him instead for being so understanding and for loving her this much.

When Arabella finally calmed down, she realized she was seated on Ferdinand’s lap.

He had somehow carried her while she was crying, and she did not notice since she was so emotional.

"Are you alright now?" Ferdinand asked in a gentle voice.

"Yes, thank you," Arabella smiled.

She was about to kiss him on the cheek in thanks when she noticed she had drenched his shirt.

"I’m sorry, I drenched your clothes!"

"Don’t be. I’d rather say they’re happy to be of some use. And they’ll dry in soon enough."

Just as Ferdinand said, the edges of the wet mark her tears left began to dry.

’Ah, right. His clothes had self-cleaning magic spells.’

Arabella was about to rub her eyes when Ferdinand caught her hand.

"Don’t rub them. Your eyes are already red, and they must be sensitive right now," Ferdinand said.

Arabella felt the heat rush to her face when she realized she must look like a mess right now.

She wanted to cover her face, but Ferdinand held both of her hands, thinking she was stubbornly trying to rub her eyes.

"Don’t look at me. Get out for a bit and let me compose myself," Arabella said while tilting her head to the side as if it would help to hide her face.

[Oh, she’s embarrassed. She’s still pretty regardless.]

"Even so!"

"Alright. Alright," Ferdinand gently settled her to the couch. "I’ll be by the door. Tell me when you’re ready."