CHAPTER 101: WEIRD

Chapter 100

Ciel

How embarrassing.

How many omegas get hit on and then spiral like they’ve never seen the world before?

When will I grow up and stop reacting like this every time?

Since we came home, I’ve been avoiding Jack.

Not intentionally at first — just small choices that piled up: a longer shower, a closed door, sleeping facing the wall. But now it’s deliberate. I don’t know how to face him, and honestly... I’m terrified of what I might see in his eyes.

What if it’s changed? The way he looks at me. The way he loves me.

No one wants an omega with baggage. Not really.

Even I get annoyed with myself.

Unfortunately, today is Thursday.

Our Thursday. Which means I can’t keep hiding behind Nolan forever. Today was supposed to be our date night.

I’ve locked myself in the bathroom for... I don’t even know how long. I’m sitting on the toilet lid, elbows on my knees, staring at the floor tiles like they might give me answers. My reflection in the mirror looks too pale, too small.

A soft knock on the door.

Then Nolan’s voice — calm, even, a little weary.

"How long did you think you were going to avoid him?"

I jump slightly. "I’m not avoiding him," I say weakly.

He opens the door anyway, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed. His face is unreadable, but there’s a quiet patience in it.

"It’s obvious, Ciel. And it’s messing with him."

I look away. "I just need time."

"You’ve had time," Nolan says gently.

"But what you’re doing right now — it’s not helping either of you. He’s hurting, Ciel. And you doing this is hurting him more than you realize."

I swallow. My throat feels dry.

"I don’t know what you’re so afraid of," he continues, "but he cares about you. Loves you. You pushing him away isn’t protecting you — it’s just pushing him toward guilt he doesn’t deserve."

I stare at the floor tiles again. They blur a little.

"I’m sorry. I just... don’t know what to say to him," I whisper.

"I’m not blaming you," Nolan says softly, stepping closer.

"I’m asking you to stop pretending the problem doesn’t exist. Talk to him."

He leaves me with that, quietly closing the door behind him.

I stay there a while longer, heart beating too fast, palms clammy. The silence feels heavier than any noise.

When I finally stand, my reflection looks a little braver — or maybe just tired enough to stop running.

*

Nolan tells me Jack is in his room.

I stand outside the door for a long time before knocking softly, like I don’t actually want him to hear it. When there’s no response, I take a deep breath and let myself in.

Jack is sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, head bowed. He looks up when I close the door behind me, and for a heartbeat he just stares — as if he wasn’t expecting me at all.

He looks tired. Not just physically, but the kind of tired that sits behind your eyes,dark circles faintly under his eyes. It hits me right in the chest.

"Hey," I say quietly.

"Hi," he answers, voice low.

Normally, this is the part where he calls me sunshine with that stupidly charming smile but now, there’s just silence. And it’s deafening.

I walk over and sit beside him on the bed. There’s a careful space between us, the kind that feels heavier than distance.

"I didn’t think I’d see you today," he says after a while.

"It’s Thursday. Our day," I murmur, trying for a laugh that sounds hollow even to my own ears.

He gives a small nod. "Yeah. Thought it wouldn’t happen, with you ignoring me and all."

He probably doesn’t mean it like an accusation, but it still makes me flinch.

"I’m sorry," I say.

He exhales, leans forward slightly, elbows back on his knees.

"It was... a little painful. But I figured you needed space. Still, seeing you laugh with Nolan and not even look at me—" he pauses, shakes his head.

"That hurt like hell."

"I didn’t mean to hurt you," I say quickly.

"I just... I didn’t know how to face you."

He doesn’t look at me. Just stares at the floor. The silence stretches again, and I hate it. I hate that he’s not looking at me. It makes my throat ache, my eyes sting.

Real fucking hypocritical, when that’s what I’ve been doing these last couple of days.

"I guess I was afraid," I whisper. "I wasn’t ready to—"

The words die before they can form.

"It’s okay," he says eventually.

And that terrifies me. His voice sounds calm like he’s accepted something I don’t understand.

"No, it’s notokay," I say, panicked by the distance I hear in him.

"I’m embarrassed, Jack. That night— it was an overreaction. Omegas get hit on all the time. That alpha didn’t even do anything to me, just flooded me with pheromones, and I reacted like—" My voice cracks.

"Like he touched me or something."

I squeeze my hands together until my nails dig into my palms.

"I didn’t want you to see me like that. Because what if you don’t like me anymore? What if all you see is someone broken? Because on most days, I don’t even like myself— how could I expect you to?"

Jack finally looks up. His gaze locks on mine, steady, unwavering.

"Ciel, how could that change my mind? I’m not mad or hurt by that, fuck that asshole."

Jack finally looks at me, his jaw tight, eyes burning with something fierce and protective.

He exhales then, dragging his hands over his face, through his hair, as if trying to scrub away the anger still lingering there.

"I’m not..." he pauses, his voice breaking a little, "...I don’t care about your reaction. That bastard harassed you, Ciel. That’s not okay. What he did—using pheromones like that—it crossed so many lines. You have every right to feel violated and uncomfortable by what that fucker did."

I stare at him, stunned.

No one ever says that.

No one ever thinks that.

Not in this world.

It’s always the omega’s fault, somehow.

For walking alone. For not being marked. For existing.

Only Nolan ever said things like that, but Nolan doesn’t count—he’s always been the exception. Hearing it from Jack... it shakes something loose in me.

I twiddle my thumbs in my lap, eyes fixed on the floor. I don’t know what to say. I knew Jack wasn’t like the others, but still... hearing him say it, without hesitation, as if it’s the most obvious truth in the world it’s jarring.

He runs a hand down his neck, sighs. "What I’m..." he starts, searching for the right words, "what I’m disappointed

about, Ciel, is the way you shut me out."

My head jerks up, and I catch the flicker of something fragile in his eyes,vulnerability. Not anger. Just quiet hurt.

"I thought we were in a relationship," he says softly.

"I’ve never been in one before, so maybe I don’t know all the rules, but..." He laughs under his breath, humorless.

"I just thought you’d trust me enough to let me in when you were hurting."

My chest tightens.

He continues, voice low but steady. "I would really like it if I could be someone you count on—the way you count on Nolan. I know it’s not the same. You’ve known him your whole life, and I’ve only been around for, what—barely a year? I get that, logically I do. But emotionally..."

He hesitates, eyes glancing down before meeting mine again. "Emotionally, I can’t help wondering—am I not reliable enough? Am I not someone you could come to? Did I not do enough for you to feel safe with me?"

Each word lands like a weight in my stomach.

He exhales again, shoulders sinking.

"I know I should be patient. These things take time. But still... I can’t help but feel like I failed you. Like I failed as your partner."

I feel my throat close up.

That’s not it. That’s not it at all.

Jack is everything—too good, too patient, too kind. Most days he feels too good to be true. And that’s the problem, isn’t it? That’s why I’m terrified. I don’t deserve him.

"Jack," I manage, my voice trembling. "I’m sorry for making you feel that way."

He starts to shake his head, but I press on, words spilling before I can stop them. "It’s just... you’re weird."

His brows furrow. "Weird?"

I almost laugh—it comes out as a broken sound instead. "Yeah. You’re weird." I give him a tiny, wavering smile.

"Alphas don’t have emotions."

That gets his attention. He tilts his head, confusion shadowing his expression.

I swallow hard. "Well, apart from the usual—aggression, pride, lust. Not others like love, empathy... kindness. Those don’t exist, at least not in how I was taught." My hands clench in my lap, then unclench, restless.

"It’s what I know, what I was raised to believe. That’s how it’s always been."

He stays quiet, letting me speak. That’s another thing that makes him strange—he listens.

"I won’t deny that there are love pairings among alphas and omegas," I continue softly.

"But those are rare. They’re fairy tales whispered between omegas who want to believe we can have something more. Most of the time, we’re supposed to be perfect—the perfect, beautiful little thing on an alpha’s arm. Pretty. Quiet. Compliant."

I glance at him, but he doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t flinch. Just watches me with that steady gaze that makes me feel seen and unguarded all at once.

"That’s all I’m supposed to be," I whisper.

"But I’m not perfect," I say, voice cracking.

"I have cracks, Jack. Broken pieces glued together and hoping no one looks too closely. And I don’t want to be thrown away when you see them. I don’t think I could handle it."