CHAPTER 58: THE SHITTIEST MISSION! (1)

[ Daily Mission #2: Go take a big poop! ]

[ Reward: +0.02 EXP; +0.02 Evolution Points (not affected by daily cap!) ]

Eh?

What?

...Poop?

"What the hell?!" Mimi blinked rapidly, staring at the floating text in disbelief.

But then—

OH SHITTTT!

LITERALLY!

Her stomach suddenly gurgled like a thunderstorm, loud and violent. Her little backside clenched up so tight she could feel the cursed pressure building! The dreadful, unstoppable urge hit her like a raging tide crashing down.

She tried with all her might to squeeze every last butthole muscle, clenching like a champion to keep the invaders locked behind the backdoor gates.

But alas, this was no ordinary poop! This was the accumulation of yesterday’s feasts, plus the snacks from the day before! All the steaks and sausage and ice-cream!

And now, the time of reckoning had come!

She could practically feel the shit hammering at her back door like a mad trapped beast wanting to get out!

"AAAAAHHHHHH! FUUUUUUUCKKKK!"

Panic hit!

Mimi’s tiny paws drummed frantically against the floor, her tail shot up stiff as a stick, her every strand of fur stood on ends, every whisker trembling in sheer horror!

What do I do?! What do I dooooo?!

Despite being "just" a daily mission, apparently, this was one she literally couldn’t skip! Her poor feline body was already on the verge of betrayal! She could practically see the horrible outcome in her mind: a steaming pile of disaster right on Emilia’s precious floor!

No no no no! Quick! Think, Mimi! I need a solution! I can’t just—

Her eyes darted around wildly.

Couch? No. Rug? Hell no. Plant pot? Tempting, but no!

So with no time to waste, she bolted straight for the door like a black lightning bolt!

"MEOW!"

"MEOWWWW!!"

AAAAH! HELP! HELP! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!

I NEED TO TAKE A SHIIIIIIT!

She yowled desperately, claws scratching and pounding at the door like her life depended on it.

And thank the heavens! Her cries did not go unheard.

The door clicked open, and standing there, startled by Mimi’s frantic state, was Lina—Emilia’s most trusted maid.

***

"Eh? Mimi? What’s wrong?" Lina asked, tilting her head as she saw the little black cat yowling at her so aggressively.

Meanwhile, Mimi was desperately trying to communicate. Her cries weren’t just random meows—this was a matter of life and death! She needed directions to the toilet, dammit!

Surely—even in a medieval fantasy world—there had to be a toilet, right?

Of course, it wouldn’t be clean and shiny like the modern ones she was used to, but at least it should be usable!

Mimi had played plenty of medieval RPGs before, so she knew what to expect: probably a wooden bench with a hole cut in it, leading straight down into some poor pit, where you plop your butt and let gravity do the work. Yeah! That would be fine! As long as it wasn’t the floor!

But alas... she couldn’t talk. Her "MEOW MEOW MEOW" meant nothing to Lina, who simply tilted her head, completely misunderstanding.

"Ah! You’re hungry? Alright! I’ll be right back!" Lina said with a smile before closing the door and rushing off.

"AAAAA! NOOO!!!"

"NNNNNOOOOOO!!!"

Mimi screamed in horror, her tiny voice cracking with despair. Her legs shook, her belly cramped, and her poor feline bowels tightened like a coiled spring about to explode. Her entire body went stiff as she clenched with all her might.

Thank the gods! Lina returned just seconds later.

But instead of salvation, she carried... a bowl of freshly chopped sausages! She knelt down, placing it neatly on the floor with a bright smile.

Mimi stared at it in pure disbelief. Sausages? Sausages?! At this point, eating them would only load the cannon even more!

"FUCK THIS! I’MMA DO IT MEOWSELF!!!"

In that instant, Mimi transformed into a black blur of desperation!

She bolted out of the room like a cat possessed, paws skidding on the polished floor, tail stiff like a spear. She weaved between furniture, leapt over a chair, nearly collided with a vase, and tore across the mansion!

And just like that, she ran!

And ran!

Like she’s trying to escape fate itself!

If I check every room, I’ll find a toilet... right?

RIGHT?!

With no time to waste, Mimi ran faster! Her tiny legs blurred, claws clicking wildly against the polished floor.

But then—

"Stop! Mimi! Stooop!!!"

Lina was already after her!

Mimi risked a glance back, and nearly had a heart attack! The blonde maid was sprinting at her with insane speed, her long skirt fluttering, face pale with panic.

A! FUCK!

If she catches me, I’m done for!

Legs! Please! Move faster! FASTERRRR!

But no matter how fast she pushed herself, Lina kept gaining!

"AH! Gotchaaa!"

Lina dove forward... and actually caught her!

Mimi yelped, her body squished in those soft maid hands.

"AAAAAA!" Mimi screamed in pure despair.

Thankfully, Lina’s grip wasn’t tight enough. Mimi wriggled, twisted, and popped free like a slippery bar of soap.

"Mrrroww!!"

She shot forward again!

But now, now it had become a full-on chase!

Mimi darted in and out of every open room, her black tail flashing like a streak of lightning. Chairs toppled, vases wobbled, and curtains swayed as she searched frantically.

No toilet here! Not here either! DAMMIT! WHERE IS IT?!

Behind her, Lina’s cries grew more desperate. Soon, the commotion spread, with maids from every corner of the mansion joining the chase!

And soon, within minutes, TEN maids were on her tail! A whole stampede of fluttering skirts, waving aprons, and panicked voices echoed down the halls.

"Catch her!"

"She’s heading to the west wing!"

"Careful! Don’t hurt her!"

Meanwhile, Mimi was on the verge of tears.

"AAAAAHHH! I just wanna take a shit! Why did it turn into thiiiiissss?!!" she wailed, sprinting harder, her little body trembling.

Her poor butthole throbbed with unbearable pressure now, every step like torture. She could feel the beast inside straining against the gates, begging to break free.

And then—finally!

At the end of a rarely used corridor, tucked behind a hidden archway, Mimi spotted it.

The toilet!

THE HEAVENLY TOILET GOD FREAKING DAMN IT!

For some gods-damned reason, it had been placed in a secret corner of the mansion, as if it were some kind of forbidden treasure!

Her eyes sparkled with salvation.

"YESSSSS!!!"