CHAPTER 225: I CAN’T LOSE YOU, ZILIA

"Estelle, will you take Idris back to the palace?" Casaio asked.

"Of course, Your Highness," Estelle replied with a respectful nod.

Idris turned to Zilia and hugged her tightly once more. "Please get plenty of rest, Sister."

Zilia managed a small smile as she ruffled his hair. "And don’t cause trouble there, alright?"

"I won’t," Idris promised before heading toward the door with Estelle.

Zilia watched him leave, waving softly until the door closed behind them. A moment later, the car in the parking lot pulled away, taking her little brother back to the safety of the palace.

The room fell silent until Casaio broke it.

"I told you to take your suppressants."

Zilia sank onto the couch, her shoulders heavy with fatigue. "I did," she replied, rubbing her forehead with her fingers.

Casaio’s expression darkened. He took a slow step forward. "Then why is your scent flooding the entire house? Your pheromones are everywhere. Do you even realize how reckless that is?"

She looked up at him sharply, her brows knitting together. "Why can you feel them so strongly?" she shot back. "And why do you care anyway? Stop pretending I matter to you."

Her voice trembled in frustration and buried emotions.

Casaio didn’t respond immediately, but he was angry with her reaction.

But Zilia had already turned her face away. "Just leave me alone, Casaio. I don’t want your presence near me."

"Why? Do I bother you so much even after I rejected you?" Casaio questioned.

Zilia glared at him, lowering her hand, not wanting to drop into another argument with him. Standing up, she decided to go back to her room when Casaio grasped her arm tightly.

"Let go of my arm," Zilia said in a firm tone.

"We could’ve been a happy family together," Casaio said. "You think it’s easy for me to be away from you. I hate it that I still feel so strongly for you," he muttered, his nostrils flaring in anger.

Zilia gazed into his eyes, her irritation vanishing away as she felt him step closer to her. Why was he doing that? After everything that conspired between them, was Casaio truly showing the tiniest bit of his affection again?

She took a step back, not wanting Casaio to yell at her later. But his hand moved to her lower back, pulling her closer to him. Their lips almost touched. Zilia’s heartbeat raced the same way it used to before. But the feeling felt so new to her. As if she were experiencing it for the first time.

"Cas, what are you doing?" Zilia murmured, looking into his eyes confusedly.

"I hate it that I still love you, Zilia," Casaio whispered. Those words had been haunting him since the day he found out about her betrayal. But he didn’t hesitate to admit his feelings were still present for her.

Before Zilia knew, his lips came crashing on her, knocking out the breath from her lungs entirely. His grip on her tightened while his hand moved to her neck, cradling it.

Zilia didn’t want to reciprocate to him, but it was too difficult to resist. Slowly, she gave in and parted her lips. The moment she did that, his tongue entered her mouth to devour her. Her feet staggered but he steadied her before she crashed on the couch. He was sitting on it while she was on his lap.

She wanted to pull away before her body would start begging for more. But Casaio’s hold on the back of her head turned firm. She could feel his hate and love at the same time the way his thumb and fingers pressed on her scalp.

"Mmmm..." She mewled and flinched when he bit her lower lip and blood trickled from it.

Casaio had finally withdrawn from the kiss, his eyes remained on her lips. Meanwhile, she confusedly stared at him, wondering what was going to happen next.

Casaio licked the blood from her lips, giving her a tender kiss before speaking, "How do you feel? Want more?"

"What are you doing?" Zilia’s brows furrowed together and she tried to move away, but Casaio tightly held her on his lap.

"You’re not allowed to until I say so," he said, his lips finding her earlobe, kissing it before nipping it.

"Ahh!" Zilia winced in pain. It wasn’t out of love this time.

"Cas, please stop," Zilia said.

"Why? Didn’t you want this?" Casaio murmured in her ear, his lips traveling down to her neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses there.

Zilia couldn’t deny him. She desired him. But she was too afraid of being crushed later by his words when he would do. The thing was he loved her, but also hated her, which was scarier than anything else.

Casaio pulled away and peered into her eyes. Her cheeks looked flushed, tainted with the deep hue of red, amusing him.

"You also have feelings for me, don’t you?" Casaio asked.

"Why are you doing this?" Zilia asked, tears reaching the edges of her eyes.

"And why did you destroy us?" Casaio asked. "My mind keeps asking me why I couldn’t see if your love was fake or real. Even now, I can’t see what is true about you. Your sufferings make me feel pathetic. I couldn’t protect you. But when I think about your betrayal, I feel you deserved it. My brain has been torn apart thinking about all of this all the time. Will you take the responsibility for the damage you’ve done to me? I can’t lose you, Zilia. I can’t. That’s what my heart speaks all the time. Tell me how are we supposed to go back together to the time when we both were so in love? We still are, but hate is present equally."

Zilia’s heart was crushed to hear those words. She averted her gaze from him, and tears rolled down her cheeks. She wished she could answer him, but even she didn’t know anymore what she should call the relationship between them.

"Forgive me. That’s all I have to say. Just find a woman who loves you more than me," Zilia whispered after some time.