CHAPTER 62: MEMORIES OF THE TRAUMA

Keith’s POV

The heat of the sauna was a physical weight, but it was nothing compared to the simmering fury in my mind. Damon’s revelation echoed there, a constant, infuriating loop. I believe the council of leaders has not been entirely forthcoming with you regarding the Shadow Cult’s curse.

"Keith? What’s wrong?"

Scarlet’s voice cut through the haze. I blinked, the steam-filled room coming back into focus. Right. The sauna. Our mandated "bonding time." I was in shorts, she was in a towel.

My brothers and I had agreed to this rigid schedule, a logical, if distasteful, approach to fostering the mate bond the Moon Goddess had given us. Today was my turn to perform.

"I was thinking about the Shadow Cult’s ritual on the Serpent’s Kiss," I said, my voice flat. No point in hiding the source of my irritation.

She shifted closer on the wooden bench, her scent cloying in the humid air. "If you’re still upset about what they did to your track..."

"I’m upset that we are consistently being kept in the dark," I corrected, cutting her off. "The track took years to plan and execute. Yet, during all that time, no one saw fit to warn us. It was intentional. And now I learn the ritual isn’t just about blood sacrifice. They need a vessel. A living woman for their enchantress to possess."

Scarlet’s eyes widened with convincing surprise. "I didn’t know about that part." She reached for the tray of electrolyte drinks, her movements graceful and deliberate. She handed me a glass. I took it and drank, the cool liquid doing nothing to quench the heat of my anger.

"So, what will you do?" she asked, her gaze intent.

"Find the vessel," I stated. It was the only logical course of action.

"And after you find her?"

I met her gaze, my own devoid of any sentiment. "I haven’t decided yet."

But that was a lie. I had decided. My brothers and I had clawed our way to power from nothing. We had built an empire. We would not let it be torn down by a ghost from a forgotten war.

If eliminating one unknown woman—a vessel who may not even be aware of her role—was what it took to secure our future, then it was a price I was willing to pay. Killing her wasn’t a far option; it was the most efficient one.

"Whatever option you choose," Scarlet purred, her voice a low, intimate murmur, "I will support you."

Her hand came to rest on my chest, her palm hot against my skin. She looked up at me through her lashes, and I knew that look. It was the same sultry expression women had been giving me for years.

Every instinct in my body prickled, a silent alarm screaming at me to remove her hand, to create distance. But I forced myself to remain still. This was my fated mate. I must give this a chance. I had to try.

Emboldened by my lack of rejection, she took it as an invitation. Her fingers began to trace slow, deliberate patterns across my pectoral muscle, her touch light and possessive.

"You shouldn’t worry," she whispered, leaning closer. "As your mate, I will do everything in my power to help you. In every way."

Scarlet stood up, her eyes locked on mine. She simply straddled me, her thighs pressing against the sides of my legs as she settled onto my lap.

"I’ve always wanted to be in this position with you," she murmured, her voice dripping with sensuality. Her hands rested on my shoulders, her fingers tracing the lines of my muscles.

I didn’t reply. My wolf growled low in my mind, his irritation palpable. Kick her out, he snarled. Get her off of you.

You know I can’t, I shot back, my thoughts sharp. She’s our mate. We have to accept this. We have to accept her.

But even as I said it, I felt nothing. Her touch, her closeness should have stirred something in me, but it didn’t.

My body remained unresponsive, my cock limp despite her grinding against me. Her towel slipped down, but I didn’t react.

This was... odd. This wasn’t the first time I’d been in such a situation. My past had ensured I’d encountered plenty of women—against my will, yes, but I’d always managed to force a reaction, to avoid the punishments of my master.

But this? This was different. This was supposed to be different. She was my fated mate. Her touch should have ignited something in me, should have made my blood boil with desire.

But it didn’t.

Scarlet leaned in, her lips brushing against my neck as she kissed and sucked at my skin.

Her breath was hot, her words sweet as she whispered about how much she craved me, how much she wanted me. Her hands roamed my body, her touch possessive, but still, I felt nothing.

Memories flashed through my mind—painful, ugly memories. My master’s voice echoed in my ears, cold and cruel. Be a good boy, Keith. Satisfy your clients. Make them happy.

I clenched my jaw, forcing the memories back. This wasn’t the same. This was supposed to be different.

Scarlet’s lips moved to mine, but I turned my head, her kiss landing on my neck instead. Her hands slid down my chest, her fingers teasing and insistent, but still, my body refused to respond.

I tried to ignore the memories, to push them back into the dark corners of my mind where they belonged.

They had no place here, not while I was trying to bond with my mate. This was supposed to be sacred, a moment of connection, of healing. But the past refused to stay buried.

I wrapped my arms around Scarlet, forcing myself to stay still, to endure her touch. I had to do this. I had to bond with her.

It was the only way to break the curse that had haunted me and my brothers ever since we killed our master to escape the bondage he’d forced us into. This was supposed to be my chance to move forward, to leave the nightmares behind.

Scarlet’s towel had completely slipped off now, her body pressed against mine, her breasts brushing against my chest. She leaned in closer, her lips trailing along my neck, her breath hot and insistent. But still, I felt nothing.

Nothing but the cold, hollow emptiness that always came when a woman touched me.

The memories surged again. The sick and twisted desires of those women who had used me, the things they’d forced me to do. The drugs they’d made me take, the cruelty they’d inflicted on me.

My fingers tightened on Scarlet’s body, my anger simmering just beneath the surface.

Maybe if I had killed them all, I thought bitterly. Maybe if I’d taken revenge on every single one of them, this wouldn’t be so hard. Maybe the trauma wouldn’t cling to me like a second skin, poisoning every attempt at intimacy.

"Keith," she whispered, her voice trembling with need. "I can’t help it. I need you."

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut, and suddenly, I wasn’t in the sauna anymore. I was back there, in those dark, suffocating rooms, surrounded by those women. Their laughter echoed in my ears, cruel and mocking.

"You’re such a perfect toy," one of them had sneered, her voice dripping with malice.

"So obedient," another had purred, her fingers digging into my skin.

"Just lie back and let us use you," the third had said, her voice cold and detached.

Their voices overlapped, their words twisting together into a cacophony of pain and humiliation. My body tensed, my fingers tightening on Scarlet’s hips as the memories overwhelmed me.

"Stop," I growled, my voice low and dangerous.

"I can’t," Scarlet murmured, her voice breathless. "I need you, Keith. I—"

"I won’t say it again," I snapped, my voice rising. "Stop."

"You’re pressing me too tight," she gasped, her voice tinged with discomfort.

But I wasn’t listening. All I could hear was their laughter, their voices, their cruel words.

"I told you to fucking stop!" I roared, my voice shaking with anger. "Stop touching my body!"

I shoved her away, my hands moving before I could think, and she stumbled back, her body hitting the wooden bench before she crumpled to the floor.

The steam swirled around us, thick and oppressive, and as it cleared, I saw her. Scarlet sat on the ground, her body trembling, her eyes wide and pale as she stared up at me. Her towel was tangled around her legs, her skin flushed from the heat, but her expression was one of shock, of fear.

Oh no.

The realization hit me like a tidal wave, my breath catching in my throat. What had I done?

I looked down at my hands, my fingers still curled into fists, and then back at Scarlet. Her eyes were filled with hurt, with confusion, and I felt a pang of guilt so sharp it nearly doubled me over.

How was I going to get over this pain without it affecting her? Without hurting her?